First baby due next weekend.. would you allow visitors/cuddles?

[KNB02]

Hi everyone!

My little boy’s arrival is quickly approaching and I am due next week. I have to admit, I have not been very strict during lockdown and have bent the rules at times (I had an indoor baby shower a couple of weeks ago with 18 guests and hugged friends but have maintained social distancing other than that) I have also had no problem with close family and friends touching my bump and feeling him kick but other than my shower I haven’t hugged anyone outside of the baby’s dad and my parents.

I do however have reservations against letting a lot of people come to visit him when he is born and allowing a lot of people to cuddle him straight away. I have a friend who has had two nieces be born during lockdown and she has only just been able to hold both of them at 3-4 Months old.

I trust my close family and friends 100% but a newborn baba will have a completely new immune system and I don’t want him to be passed from pillar to post, especially if anyone has been out to pubs/bars/restaurants etc.

What are people’s thoughts? Am I thinking too cautiously or has anyone asked for similar with their newborns? Xx

I’m going to allow close family, no kissing (wouldn’t allow that anyway!) and hands washed before (again should be done anyway with newborn!).

I'm not due until November but if things continue as they are, outside of those in my household who I know are following rules strictly, I will allow my mum and dad to hold the baby but that probably it, maybe my brother too. My parents are retired and only go out to the supermarket once a week (which I will ask them not to do in the run up to the birth) and my brother is working from home until January - I'll ask him not to socialise in the run up to the birth if he wants to hold the baby. My sister works with the public and gets the train to work so I will be asking her to social distance unfortunately.

Friends will be able to look only. Most of my close friends work in public services (NHS/schools).

I agree with @Pinktruffle. I’ll also have no hesitation saying no to visitors until I’m comfortable. Our families are sensible and will quarantine before our due date but no way will I want a load of friends who have been carrying on as normal coming round to hold a vulnerable newborn.

I have only let close family who have been isolating to hold my DD. No friends or family who have been working or going out as usual.

I'd not be allowing anyone but close family and friends to hold my newborn anyway regardless of Covid.
Who would these other people wanting to hold your baby actually be?
I'm sorry but I think you sent out the wrong message having an indoor large baby shower.

Their grandparents and aunts / uncles but that's it - and hand washing beforehand

Following with interest. Having this quandary myself at the moment. As it stands I've been very strict regarding social distancing since this all kicked off, and whilst I'm inclined to let close family and friends visit who I can trust to not come with any symptoms etc, I think that will still be on the proviso of no holding/hugging etc and maintaining social distancing. That's what my MW has recommended anyway. Not sure how to broach it with a parent who lives abroad and say that they can visit but not touch any of us yet, but that's a whole other matter and worry for a different day...!

@Spied extended family outside of grandparents e.g. my aunties, uncles, family friends who would usually want to visit and congratulate you outside of the pandemic? Not just close friends and immediate family.

Not sure how it sends out the wrong message when it was arranged for me as a surprise and my post was only being honest about how I’ve personally felt during lockdown, as I know there will be people who will have been a lot more strict than I have but I also know of people who have been a lot more casual than I have, too. By indoors it was an open plan apartment with big bay balcony doors that were open at all times and only close friends and immediate family attended, it was not a ‘large’ shower.

Thank you everyone for the replies! I think we will be saying the same. Grandparents to hold the baby but no one else whilst this is still going on, and garden visits for any other family/friends as long as they haven’t recently been to a pub x

Had my first Dc at end of June. W winky allowed babies grandparents and aunts and uncles on DH side meet baby initially as they had all been helping take ya to appointments and shopping trips during pregnancy so no extra risk with seeing them. But everyone else has had to wait till now (6 weeks) and it's still only close family (but wiser than just parents) until 8 week injections have been done.
People aren't happy with waiting but baby is more important

Would they be able to wear a mask op? I wouldn't risk anyone holding a newborn atm but that's me personally (my daughter is 6 months old now).

Personally I am being more strict prior to baby being born because if I test positive this could have implications for the birth including my partner not being able to be there. After the birth, newborns are the least at risk out of all the population because they dont have an immune system. It is the immune system that can cause the severe inflammatory illness/COVID19. We're not going to be seeing every Tom, Dick & Harry, but we will definitely be relaxing our own restrictions as we have been very strict prior to baby being born.

Make sense not to have visitors just make sure you and DH keep strictly to the distance thing, if you get it you won't be able to distance from your son and he'll end up vulnerable anyway.

No

I’m struggling with this right now, my baby is due in 8 weeks but I’m likely to be induced, my partner wants the whole family to meet the baby the day after my labour, expects me to let family members hold our baby and to go out to the park! Now this is our first child but how can he be so clueless, it’s causing more anxiety because I know this has most likely come from his family wanting to see the baby so much but it’s a pandemic, everyone we know seems to have gone back to their pre-Covid lives and don’t understand the dangers of this. I feel like it’s me against him and his family when in reality I just want to protect myself and our baby.

I had my son 3 weeks ago and we had no visitors the first week. After that it's been close family only for now with hand washing and no kissing. Even as we let more people meet him we'll be limiting it to 1 or 2 people at a time, and of course nobody who's showing any signs of being sick. As long as they haven't been exposed we're not bothered by people going out, we aren't going to ask anybody to either put their lives on hold or not meet the baby when they have work and other responsibilities. We want to be careful but honestly we've been more concerned with giving ourselves time to adjust without being flooded with people than we are with covid now

My baby was born in June. She was eight weeks old before I let anyone hold her and I did ask for masks and handwashing. This is grandparents and my siblings. Friends haven't held her but have pushed her in the pram for face to face time at a distance. It might be too strict for some people and not strict enough for others, but it made us feel comfortable.

@Lincs90 I think that’s totally fair. It’s about putting you and baby first, not worrying about upsetting people who want cuddles.

I’m due in 2.5 weeks and we won’t be allowing anyone hold the baby except for DH and I.

Family who want to meet baby can come in to the garden and maintain social distancing but I personally wouldn’t be comfortable taking any risk. The cases are higher in our area now too and nobody I know is following the guidelines.

There is no way I would let anyone hold my newborn in the current situation. Even with grandparents I’d have wanted them to pretty much self isolate for the two weeks before meeting him/her. Everyone else can absolutely wait.