Sat crying in triage.. need some advice.

[SarahF2019]

so my body clearly doesnt want me being pregnant. Im borderline cholestasis, so have to get tested every week. Im now on sertraline because pregnancy hormones have made me depressed. I cannot be intimate with my partner because...again hormones wont allow my body to. Im suffering from SPD AND now they think i have preeclampsia.... i just cant do this anymore...

My family genuinely dont care because their favourite daughter already gave them a grandson.. and they moved away when i fell pregnant.. (after a miscarriage and a year of trying! They knew our struggles)! My mum is a MIDWIFE too! But theyve arranged their friends to come over for my csection date... so i was clearly not in their minds

My in laws dont seem bothered either despite living a 2 min walk away... theyve never visited and never ask us over :'(

My husband who is beyond supportive is a police officer and is the only one on his team to NOT have caught covid :'( so hes being made to work all the way up until my c section 2 weeks away.

I feel so unsupported and overwhelmed by these constant complications
All of this crap has just got to me today and ive just burst into tears in the triage waiting room... looking like a fool. :'(

God! Im such an idiot... im sorry i just needed a rant and advice. How can i last the next 2 weeks on my own in the house with no support and all these worries?
I need a distraction... any ideas guys ? Xxxx many thanks.
I cant wait till my baby is here... i just wish other people did too. :'(

Aww, I remember feeling like I lived at the hospital as I had lots of concerns during my pregnancy but when she was born my baby was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It sounds like you and your husband will be lovely parents and I understand how sad it is that your family are not interested but your baby doesn’t need them, you are all your baby needs.

Good luck for the next two weeks

What about trying to learn to crochet or knit? That way u can make sure baby gorgeous wee hats and booties for hospital and blankets too? Sorry ur going through a shit time too look after u and when baby is born make sure u try and get out and about. F**k ur relatives if they don't wana see baby shame on them but u will come to a point where u won't even care. Sometimes u will think poor baby not having this or that to see but u get over that pretty quickly xx

Your baby is so lucky to have a mum that loves them so much and a hardworking Dad.
In just 2 weeks you are going to have your beautiful baby and all he/she needs is their mum and dad.

It’s a shame the grandparents don’t want to be more involved but when that baby comes you are going to be so besotted with them, you won’t notice!

Oh gosh that all sounds so hard

Have you felt able to tell your families how they make you feel? Both sides sounds uncaring and thoughtless.
Is your sister any support?

You know what though?- you can do this without them. It’s them that miss out on your amazing family.

Can you take some big breaths and watch something on your phone that will make you smile? Your baby has you fighting for them. That’s worth so much. You can do this. Hang in there.

You poor thing you’ve really been through a rough time. You’re allowed to be upset and angry at family members being shit and not pulling their weight. You’re nearly there just a couple of weeks to go you can do this x

I’m so sorry OP.

Your baby has a mum and dad who love them, cherish them and will protect them. The rest of your family are missing out, but that’s on them. You’re a family of three and you’re going to be wonderful together

We’re here..... not as close as you probably want us to be but there will always be someone around to chat to! Use this time to get plenty of rest/watch juicy tv/read a book because in a couple of weeks it will all change!

Oh this sounds really hard. Maybe you aren't looking for solutions and just feel rubbish. But have you/could you talk to your family about lack of interest. Do they realise how hard things are for you with your dh being in the police and working lots? Plus the threat of covid.
It's totally understandable you feel stressed and low.

I know this won't help things be better right now but I wanted to tell you, I'm the child of similar circumstances (basically my parents are ace but my grandparents were all heartless, uncaring and uninterested)

I had a really happy childhood, I never even noticed I didn't have grandparents (I probably saw them all less than 5x in the first 10 years of my life)

I'm sorry they've let you down but, know, that your child doesn't need them and will be very happy anyway

And hopefully pregnancy hormones will regulate very soon (mine did literally as soon as the c-section was complete)

Take care OP

Omg these replies... youre going to make me go again. Ive print screened every single one! Youre all right! This baby is lucky to have parents that love it so much. I'll be spending every ounce of energy i have loving my son "Eric" rather than trying to get others to. Xxx thankyou all

Congratulations on your baby! How far along are you?
Once your baby is born they will be your world, if grandparents aren't interested don't worry lots of other people will be. Xxx

Hope you're okay!
If people can't (choose not to) be there for you when you need them, then simply don't let them in when they want something (like those amazing newborn cuddles).
I have same with my brother, didn't hear from him my entire pregnancy so we decided not to call him uncle ??
Naturally he threw his dummy out of the pram but our babies only deserve people around that are there for the good and the bad/tough.
Where abouts do you live? Maybe a fellow mumsnetter is local for support?

I know how u feel I've got a 9 month old baby and my family havent even met him and havent even asked to.. we hardly have any contact at all they just dont seem that bothered and I'm fed up of trying to make them want to see us... tbh they are the ones missing out and I dont need them I have my husband and we both dote on our lil man,but It does still get to you especially when you see other grandparents doing all the things yours should... it's sad because my husbands parents are both dead and they would of been interested and loved to be a part of his life. Such a shame.. but anyway dont let it upset u I know it's hard as this is your precious baby and u want your family to be just as happy as u but you have your husband and that's all your boy needs a mum and dad to love him.. and I'm sure he will have the best parents to give him all he needs.. good luck with your pregancy and I hope it all goes well.keep safe x

Your baby is blessed already with a mummy and daddy that sound truly wonderful. Try to actually enjoy this last few days of time alone- as you won’t be properly alone ever again! My eldest is 23 and although he doesn’t live with me He is in my thoughts and I haven’t really ever felt alone in that way since becoming a mum. It’s wonderful- but try to enjoy some hot baths in peace and uninterrupted cups of tea and read some books... and all the very best for your forthcoming birth. Your family may step up or they may miss out. My family are thankfully very good but my ex and my lovely husband both have pretty selfish and uninterested families so our kids don’t get that input from them- but the kids don’t miss out- THEY do. Their loss entirely.

You are going to be the best mum because of this. You won't take stuff for granted and will remember this when your child will expect a child themselves. You will be the person who turns the tide throughout the generations because you will know what to do and say. You're stronger than you think. Crying or being anxious isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of the strength that you have to let emotions in.

If you start feeling overwhelmed try a mindfulness exercise. Like naming (can do silently but do concentrate) 5 things that you see (in detail so including shadows et cetera), 5 things that you feel (air, clothing on your skin, hair against your face), and 5 things that you hear. It sounds a bit bonkers, and I'm not a new age person but this exercise can really help to calm down for a second and stop you thinking for a few minutes. Your brain needs the pause sometimes.

And you will be fine. Big virtual hug from the continent.