Did my mother in law call me fat? I am almost 31 weeks and she said

[mandy29xx]

“Your getting big, are you sure there not two babies in there” :(
I am almost 31 weeks and first time mum she also makes me nervous asking what kind of birth I want.. fs anyway did she call me fat or just saying my bump has grown ? Anyone else experience this, I feel my bump is normal size to be honest.

People say weird And stupid things to pregnant women. Usually no harm is intended, except in my ex mils case. She told be my face had filled out rather quickly.

Part of the reason she is exMil.

@Wankpuffin thanks horrendously awful. People can be so fucking rude.

Awesome user name btw.

Maybe she was implying that-in which case she's an arsehols and you should tell her where to shove her comments- but it seems to me that so many people think they can say what the fuck they want these days, to anyone, wherever and whenever-and especially to women- because we must be informed if our physical appearance happens to be offending anyone... Nobody seems to remember the old saying- If you've nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all...Ahh, just trying to imagine what a blissfully peaceful world we would all live in if that were to happen....
Sorry! Back to you- I'm sure you look beautiful- enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. and your baby.

I think it's just a silly thing some people say - like a compliment because perhaps they think big bump = healthy baby. I'd ignore it. By the way you don't need to discuss what sort of birth you want with your MIL so she won't need to comment.

People make all kinds of shitty, insensitive comments about pregnancy bumps. Whether she meant to call you fat or not, it was rude!

@mandy29xx MILs can be a delight can’t they? 😂
So far I’ve had comments on how she’ll wait until after baby is here before looking at clothes etc because she doesn’t know whether baby will follow my body type or DHs (I was a size 18 when I got pregnant) 😂🙄 She sees me a few times a week and always greets me with “ohhh, you look sore” 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔 I’m just in my 3rd trimester, haven’t put on much weight at this point (I’m being quite conscious of what im eating because of my size pre-pregnancy) and feel fine so I’m not sure what that means lol. And she likes to comment on what I eat too 🙈 “what are you having for dinner?” “I’ve made a lasagne” “ohhh....should you REALLY be eating that?? Will you just have a wee bit with salad?” 🙄
I very quickly learned to ignore 😂 and only turn it into an issue when I’m feeling argumentative lol.

My mum said this to me. I think it’s just a standardised thing to say to pregnant people!

No she didn't mean fat. A baby bump is not fat. But she was thoughtless.
At the later stage of my pregnancy I didn't want to go to work because of all the 'well meaning comments ... oh it must be a girl as you're wide )

Main thing is a healthy baby is on the way. Be kind to yourself. Have some time to yourself and see less of people who are making you uncomfor table.

I’m getting it all the time and the ‘oh your bigger than X who’s pregnant’ or ‘oh your smaller than Y who’s pregnant’. My general reply is ‘oh I know, at least I know he’s growing, I’m going to miss my bump’ and shrug it off. Generally people then change the subject...

I don’t think she was calling you fat but it was quite insensitive - I’ve had one of those comments and it’s hard not to take it to heart. I’m sure you look beautiful and it’s positive bump is growing xx

Relax

@Rafagirl1

Relax

Considering this is from last August, I’d say she’s past it now

I could have written this.. I'm very conscious of my bump and any comment about it's size I can't stand. I'm 30 week, last week someone said to me you don't look like you'll make it that far. I was very hurt by it.. why people think it's ok to say things like this I'll never know, but they do.. a lot! I think I am sensitive to it but I don't think I'm totally unreasonable to it.

Realise this is an old thread, but this seems to come up a lot....
I simultaneously get "gosh aren't you looking big" and "haven't you got a very neat little bump" all in the same day. Pregnancy is like the weather. People just feel the need to comment on it without actually having much to say, so you get any variety of standard "off the shelf" comments in my experience. I know I probably said some of the same things to others before I got pregnant and realised how annoying it is...

I had that comment a few times too, I just found it amusing and assured them that there was only one(1) bub in there, I'm keen to avoid any confusion!

Every pregnant woman gets asked this at some point. Just laugh and say 'I hope not!'
They are commenting on your baby bump not the rest of your body.

Mil commented how tight my jeans looked...
They were a size 8 and ds was a fortnight old..
Some people open their gob and don't think first...
Anyway bet op gives zero fucks about mil now!!

People are obsessed with baby bumps, it really grinds my gears! I brace myself for comments constantly thanks to lockdown and not seeing people for long stretches of time. Everyone asks either to see the bump (yup even on Zoom work meetings!!) or messages me asking if I have one yet/is it big yet?! I'm nearly 30 weeks, of course it's big you idiots! It's like show us or it didn't happen 😂

You have my sympathies.

Not sure how old your mil is op but Back In The Day ladies hid their bumps... Nowadays they are busting proudly out there!!

People seem to make sport out of being rude to pregnant women. Bump talk, asking if it was an accident etc. And also trying to scare you with labour talk and saying you will never sleep or go out again. It's mostly nonsense just ignore

Could it not just be that people are trying to engage in one of the most significant things going on in your life at the moment? People are interested in baby bumps, it is a miraculous thing that there is a tiny human growing in your body!

Couldn't we start by assuming good intent instead of being instantly offended? Yes, some people are arseholes (especially the MIL that commented on the tight jeans when you had a new baby), but the vast majority of people are actually trying to be nice!

Someone at work said this to me at about the same time. I was really upset about it a why on earth people think they can comment on a woman's body just because she's pregnant is beyond me! I'm still friends with this person and reminded her of her jibe when she was in her third trimester. She was mortified, understandably, as she was walking a mile in my shoes at the time. 👍

I remember being really upset when I went clothes shopping at about that far along and the shop assistant (who was lovely, really helpful, took me to the wedding dress changing room because it was massive and had lovely soft chairs and brought me clothes instead of me looking round the shop for something) said something about being surprised I was only x weeks, as I looked so big. I told my Dad, who was with me, that I was upset - he said 'people feel they have to say something, to acknowledge you're pregnant and make small talk, it's just the easiest thing to say, thay don't really mean it'

Looking back he was right, but at the time when I was uncomfortable, hormonal and barely recognised myself in the mirror it was hurtful to think someone was judging me as 'too big'

She's commenting on the fact you've got bigger because you're growing a baby. She's not called you Fat - pregnancy hormones.
I'm also not exactly sure what's wrong with her paying interest and asking what birth you'd like?