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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

What's maternity leave really like?

33 replies

bubbles519 · 09/08/2020 18:23

I've been working for the last 16 years and never had longer than a few weeks off for holidays. I'm really looking forward to having 9 months off with my baby but also find it really daunting. Lots of people have said it gets really lonely and boring, is this true? Does it get better after the first few months when they can interact more?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Iwonder08 · 09/08/2020 22:11

I loved every minute of it. I also worked for many years with no breaks. Knowing thre time is limited made it very precious.

Goostacean · 09/08/2020 22:32

My top tip for enjoying it is to get out of the house, and my top tip for THAT (@NewMama20, saw your request for advice on the first page) is to have a fully packed nappy bag ready to go.

Nappies, wipes, nappy bags, bottles if necessary (I bf so don’t know how best to pack those hygienically), a toy or two, change of baby clothes (or two!), purse, umbrella, clean muslin. Leave it by the door, immediately refresh/replace things when you get in. As long as I’d showered and dressed, it used to take me 6mins to get out the door: change baby’s nappy, have a glass of water and a wee, shoes on, pick up bag, go. Having to pack the bag inevitably extended that time to half an hour, by which point baby needed another feed etc etc...

I love maternity leave :)

squee123 · 09/08/2020 23:01

@NewMama20 for me the key is to keep a changing bag packed and check it is topped up before bed and in the pram basket ready. That way I just have to get me and baby fed washed and dressed and we are good to go with no time to talk myself out if it. Probably made easier by breastfeeding.

bookmum08 · 09/08/2020 23:28

I found that even though I had a new role as Mummy it has been the first time in my life that I really got to be ME and focus on my life, my home, realise what is important to me. I never had that chance stuck at work. Work made me feel trapped and miserable. To be fair it was my husband who got and supported me away from that dull and horrible life and that would of happened with his support even if we hadn't had our daughter.
Basically being a sahm has been the best thing ever. Given me confidence (that took time), a place in society/community that I feel I belong.
Plus my daughter. Obviously.

taraRoo · 09/08/2020 23:37

It's great - though at the start I really wanted to be the one going back to work! I found the sleep deprivation horrendous at first. Plus the hormones took weeks to settle. The best thing I did was get help from family for the first 6 weeks to help me get over the shell shock. The it's all about finding a routine. You need to go out every day and find something to do. Even if it's just going to the baby clinic or post office.

TobysMum16 · 10/08/2020 08:47

I loved mine so much I didn’t go back! Toddler is 2 and expecting second in a few weeks. Don’t expect to restart career until youngest is 4ish!
We did baby groups, meet ups and coffee pretty much everyday. It was a bit of a transition at the year mark as most people I knew head back to work but luckily I made one really good friend who I now hang out with constantly and we’ve been a constant support to each other through this pandemic and our second pregnancies.
Really hoping playgroups reopen in September though as it’s going to be tough to entertain the toddler with the newborn.

NewMama20 · 10/08/2020 22:22

@00100001
@Goostacean
@squee123

Thanks for the tips! I definitely need to get more organised which I wasn't even very good at before baby! He's five months old.

MissingCoffeeandWine · 11/08/2020 00:37

I’m on mat leave at the minute: love being a Mum, am looking forward to being back at work. Covid has had a huge impact, as I was enjoying groups, being in cafes or the library with my little one, planned activities (gym etc.). I met local Mums and they’ve been great (walks in parks etc) but it’s still been isolating at times.

I’ve also missed my own income, and independence. Mat leave can be a bit monotonous. Everyday is busy, but not massively interesting or fulfilling.

I thought I’d be socializing, reading for fun, ticking ‘odd jobs’ and places I wanted to go off my to do list, but It’s not quite like that. Getting baba fed, played with, the laundry done and food cooked takes a surprising amount of time (especially in the early days when it’s one handed!).

I think a lot of it depends on your support network (my partner works v long hours so I’m alone with baba from wake, til bed), and on your babies needs (I’ve a frequent eater, poor sleeper, that is one of the messiest weaned babas I’ve ever seen) 😅 but most of my friends that are mums would say they’ve loved it but that it was very different/harder work than they expected.

I worried about being bored and thought about tasks that would distract me, which in hindsight I laugh at. The boredom is more that actually being with a newborn is both incredibly demanding and not very interesting. The early days, I found hard.

More recently, especially between 6-8months, I’ve loved mat leave, as my LO can play by herself for a few mins, Nights only have a few wakes, and I feel much more like me (and less zombie). Being able to hear my baby giggle, or watch her enjoy toys/activities helps a lot too!

I do think maternity leave is a balance between what you make of it, what support you have, what finances you have, and what your particular baby needs, which makes it hard to predict.

I know I’m lucky. And I’d love another, so it can’t be “bad” but it’s more a different type of ‘work’ than the “break” from “work” I thought it would be (if that makes sense?)

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