Have you ever regretted your second child??

[bornninthe80s]

I'm accidentally pregnant - older mum (have one child and now 41) and although my DS is my universe and I'm happily married, this second pregnancy is terrifying and I don't know what to do :(

No.

But it sounds like you have a lot going on. How old is your DS.

I remember worrying I couldn’t possibly love DC2 as much as DC1 but I needn’t have worried! Both DC are lovely and have a brilliant relationship with each other. What will the age gap be?

Thanks for replies ❤️ it would be a 2.5 year gap. I'd never been maternal (hence being an older mum!) but my little one is my bestest friend. I'm one of four and felt a bit ignored growing up and have loved being able to have all my attention on him. Struggling with the idea of changing family dynamic plus we have lots of change coming up (new job in completely different industry and moving from city to small town where we know nobody!). Got about 2 weeks to decide whether to go ahead

Will add, my first was 5 weeks prem (only 3 days in hospital thankfully) and I had an anxious pregnancy which involved CVS after a 1:19 downs result on combined tests (he is totally fine!) and several check ups for RFM.

I have a 2.5 year age gap. It works well and watching the relationship between my 2 DC is lovely.

Never. He is absolutely fantastic and changed the family dynamic for the better. Ds1 is a loving but demanding child. Having a younger brother "diluted" him - he accepted that his brother has needs too that he can't always have 100% of my attention and energy. We have a 2yr 7 month gap and it is brilliant. (They are now 6 and nearly 9 and always play together)

Never. We had a surprise pregnancy in November (number 5!) and it was the biggest shock.
Baby is now 3 weeks old and I am completely besotted with her.

I got accidentally pregnant with DS2 at the worst possible time - just made redundant, financial worries, rapidly deteriorating relationship with my ex, family illness, you name it. I was terrified and tbh if I'd found out that I was pregnant earlier (didn't realise at first as kept having 'periods' and no other early signs) I would 100% have had a termination due to the circumstances.

I definitely don't regret having DS2 though - quite the opposite, he's a joy and we all adore him. He's 8 now and life is so much better these days. The first year was tough as DS2 did not sleep, but despite the age gap he and DS1 are close and they wouldn't be without each other. I felt so guilty that DS1 was missing out on time and attention with me, but he was so excited and loved becoming a big brother (he was almost 7 when DS2 arrived, easier than a baby and a toddler in some ways, but hard to entertain both at once!).

Only you can decide what is right for you and your family though. Talk it through with your husband/friends/a counsellor and you may feel a lot better about things? Good luck and I hope everything works out for you

No definitely not ( was planned though)
Everything was definitely easier 2nd time around; pregnancy, birth, newborn stage so I enjoyed it more
Seeing the two of them playing together or helping each other out is the most heartwarming thing ever
In many ways having 2 seems easier after a while as they play together which takes the pressure off you to constantly entertain
Yes they do bicker a bit but it's not the end of the world

Ah, my first was almost 6 weeks prem too! So I understand the fear even more. My second pregnancy was so straightforward compared to my first and the newborn and toddler stage was a hell of a lot easier, having done it before. And cheaper - glad I hung onto DS1's stuff like a hoarder as it saved me a fortune

Similar here, had a very “unexpected” very surprise second baby at 43.

Like you, huge issues which I won’t bore you with but thankfully all was well.
It’s amazing.
I got to do it all over again only better because this time I kinda know what I’m doing.

Being older brings other worries, for me surrounding my mortality and a possible short future with young children.
I’m 50 now with a 7 year old, I’m overweight & acutely aware that I need to be well & healthy to ensure I will be here for the next 20-30 years in good health.

The rest, is absolutely wonderful. You lucky lady, savour every moment.

You might be interested in this thread for more mature mothers to be.

Thread 2 for us classed as more mature pregnant ladies www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3959979-Thread-2-for-us-classed-as-more-mature-pregnant-ladies

No, my 2nd child is a complete and utter delight.

My elder child has a slightly less sunny disposition 😂, and it’s just so wonderful having my 2nds energy and joy and sweetness in the house.

Never. And in fairness, my 2 have been a godsend to each other in times when you have to isolate from others. Other kids had no one to play with but my two had each other.