Pregnancy with baby 3 and partner doesnt want it

[Littledevil247]

:21Littledevil247

Hi I've never done this before but could do with some outside advice. I've been with my partner for 11 years I have a 11 year old and 6 year old I also suffer from epilepsy but av been seizure free for a couple of years which am really proud of. I have found out that am pregnant and am happy about it was a bit of a shock and upsetting at first as I miscarried a few months ago but am trying my best to make sure nothing happens to this one. I've told my partner of 11 years and he doesn't want it he wants me to get rid or he will leave but av told him I cannot go through the pain of losing another child he wasn't very supportive of me when I lost the last one, and we are either not talking or arguing about it and am worried with the stress I will lose this one plus it isn't fair on the children I have to be hearing it. He says he will leave but I don't think he will it will be done to me to leave so he doesnt look the bad one, but I just feel very low and down and I would just like some advice or it anyone else had similar situation. He's a good dad to the other two but doesn't want anything to do with this one 😢

Either way it sounds like the relationship is over. If you keep the baby will you be able to manage all 3 as a single mum?

Were you actively trying after your previous loss? As in are you on the pill, been using a condom etc? If not then how is he surprised you are pregnant? He cant force you into an abortion if you dont one. If you are desperate to keep then you need to get in the mindset of raising the baby on your own. Which if he is very involved with the other two is going to be very difficult.

FilthyforFirth well he not I wasn't on any as am restricted wi my medications and he didn't use anything so obviously he knew it could happen I jus feel like the blames at my door n am being bk into a corner cos if I don't get rid he will leave I am scared of being a single mum of three am 31 but I do have support from my family they will always he me its jus hard as we been together so long

His harsh position may well have spelled the end of your relationship anyway How awful to threaten to leave over something he is 50% responsible for. Keep the baby and he says he’ll leave. Feeling forced into a termination you don’t want will almost certainly cause issues between you as you will harbour resentment. I’m sorry you’re in this position but I think you need to assume you’ll be doing this by yourself and make your decision from there.

Pinkflipflop85 I think I cud am scared and I no it not going to be easy and I have a close family to help me and my other two are 11 and 6 and would be there for me two, I think its jus a scary thought on my own but I know its not impossible but I know deep down if I got rid of this I would never forgive myself I had the pain of losing one I don't want that again my kids are my world.

There’s numerous threads on here where women have terminated a baby, due to pressure from their partner. The women then struggled with the decision which she didn’t want and the relationship inevitably breaks down and she’s still left alone but with the added sadness of needing to live with the decision to terminate. You need to really decide what you want and don’t base your decision on his threatened actions. You will need to live with decision you reach so make sure it’s one you want.

FizzingWhizzbee123 I been starting to think am on my own it's jus hard when been wi sum one for such a long time but I jus seemed to av been told what he wants n how he feels n thats wot I shud go along with n o carnt I cannot go through the pain of losing another and I carnt get through to him how cud he possible think I cud lose one and get rid of one am not that person my children are my life and having epilepsy never made it easier I felt I needed to prove myself more I can be a good mum and now I am stable enough he's putting me under more stress that it can also effect my health too and feel he jus not bothered

FizzingWhizzbee123 I just no I carnt get rid of this baby and I think more he having ago at me the more am getting attactched n not wanting to let go it's just the stress n arguments that get me down and it not far on my other children