Worried about telling my mum I’m pregnant.

[Caketin4]

So this is a bit of a long one (apologies in advance)

I won’t go through all the ins and outs but I am 25 and just found out I’m pregnant. The only person I have told is my partner. We don’t live together as I live with my mum and he lives with his. We are currently saving to buy a house, but I have also been helping my mum do up her house before I eventually leave. I pay rent, buy food, cook for me and my mum, buy her gifts and things for the house which I believe is all the things I should do. However, my mum is having a breakdown at the moment and she has taken it out on me and my boyfriend. She has picked out weird things about him and is making stuff up to the family. For example she said she doesn’t want him doing the washing up in her house, he is no longer allowed to stop over (even though he helped decorate, offers her money when he stops, does any odd jobs she asks) and lastly the weirdest of them all he apparently shouldn’t be touching the door handles as he will break them and it’s again her house.

She is having this breakdown because she has MS, got corona and recovered and now we have found out that my younger sister (who has moved away) might be going blind. I am also struggling with the news and stress of everything as it seems like I’m having to be the calm and collected one. I just want to support my family and help them.

As well as this I’m supposed to be starting my PGCE in September which I’ve been planning to do for a whole year and have prepared everything. I work 45 hours a week and don’t want to give anything up. My partner really wants me to keep the baby and so do I, but I’m worrying about telling my family as it’s really not the right moment (as I don’t want to make them think I’ve caused any more worry for them). I know they’re going to be disappointed and I don’t want my mum to have an even worse breakdown or kick me out. I know that my partners mum will be really supportive but they live in an overcrowded house and I shouldn’t put all my worries on to the. I’m utterly confused of what I need to do. I am happy I’m pregnant and so is my partner, but my mum makes little digs here and there saying that if I ever end up pregnant I will ruin my life.

[SusanKennedyshouldLTB]

Firstly, move out of your mum’s house. Thats no way to live.
Secondly, when are You due and when does the pgce end? Is there a possibility of still Completing it this year?

[Caketin4]

Thank you for your reply. My boyfriend and I are currently trying to save every penny we have in order to move out. I have a doctors appointment this week, but I can estimate probably March/April (I’m very early on). My course at uni runs from Sept-June but I will tell them about the pregnancy after my appointment to see what advice they have.

[Scubalubs87]

OP a PGCE is a very full on and intense year. I wouldn’t recommend completing the year with a newborn or heavily pregnant for that matter. It’s hard enough teaching heavily pregnant with years of experience under your belt. It might be an good idea to speak to your course provider about what they would suggest and whether deferring for a year is an option. PGCE second placements normally run in the summer term which would be incredibly difficult to do with a newborn.

Moving forward, it sounds like you need to move out of your mum’s which you seem to be putting the wheel’s in motion for.