Pregnant again so soon after having first baby

[clueless987]

For a bit of back story I have a 10 month old and we was not planning on having anymore for a couple of years due to wanting to move house, getting somewhere bigger and wanted to be able to save enough beforehand to have a decent amount so there's no stress during maternity leave etc. Found out today that I am pregnant again. I was on the pill so this is completely unplanned, however we understand these things can happen so there's always that risk and it's happened so no turning back now. I'm just after some advice really, and just someone to talk to about it who may have gone through the same thing or similar. I feel awful that my reaction wasn't the reaction I had when I found out I was pregnant with our DD as we had planned and couldn't wait for a positive result. My reaction wasn't the same for obvious reasons and I'm worried about a lot of things. Mainly about the age gap, money, moving, maternity leave and just everything in between. I also hate to say this but I worry that I couldn't love another baby as much as I love my DD and that makes me feel terrible. Raising 2 under 2 is not what we had in mind and I am so scared. I'm also extremely worried about pregnancy again so soon as I had a lot of issue first time around. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I know quite a few families who ended up in this situation. The early days are tough but the siblings are all so close and there's no rivalry because the eldest doesn't remember a time when the youngest didn't exist. There are definitely advantages to the small gap.

All I can tell you is my reaction was completely the same as you're feeling now. I fell pregnant 4 months after birth. Like you I wanted to move, save and be a bit more organized. I spent the whole pregnancy worrying about what I was doing. I cannot tell you it's been a bed of roses, but my word the pros of babies close in age outweigh any cons. The bigger house and money will come, but life isn't always meant to be planned to the t. It's donee the world of good, it's forced me to chill out, to adapt and embrace change.
Mine are 3 and 2 now, they're the best of friends (most of the time) and I'm so glad that at the point many friends are having their second, I've done that xx

I have a 13 month age gap between mine. Was breast feeding and on the mini pill. I cried when I found out about DD2. The first 2 years were hard but otherwise it has been great. Always had each other as playmates. They are now in their early 20s and best mates.

Your reaction is normal, I felt the same when I found out I was pregnant with DC 3. There is 15 months between the two youngest. I have been blessed with a very content, sleepy baby which has made the last 3 weeks relatively straightforward, though I don't stop. Good luck!

I get it. I fell unexpectedly pregnant with DS2 when DS1 was only 7 months and I was still breastfeeding. It had taken ages to get pregnant with DS1 so to conceive without even trying was a huge shock, to say the least.

The first thing I did after we found out was to go and talk to a friend with a similar age gap between her two, and she was very reassuring.

We also had to juggle a necessary house move, maternity leave, worries about coping with two babies... but it all worked out. I had no difficulty in loving DS2 as much as DS1, there's plenty of love to go round.

My boys have a 16 month age gap and have always been extremely close. They are in their 20s now and still best friends. I can't have found it too bad, because I had their younger brother a couple of years later

Not direct experience but this is actually what I'm aiming for! I very much want siblings close in age.

I had a thirteen month gap between my boys!! I was not a mum I was the referee!!

They have spent the last thirty years just winding one another up!!

Mine are 16 months apart and honestly I'd do it again with the same age gap. The stages are never too far apart, my eldest was too young to be jealous of a new baby, and now at 9 and 10 they are very close and always have been. 2 under 2 keeps you on your feet but in my opinion you've never rested from the first one so it's probably easier to get used to than going back into baby stage after a bigger gap. Good luck and congratulations!

Thank you so much for replying! It's so reassuring to hear positive experiences. I don't know anyone personally who's had children with such a short age gap. I'm also worried what people will think/say when we actually announce it. I know it's early days and anything can happen still but I can't help but feel dread when I think about how people will react. I have a very supportive family but I also have a family member who everyone definitely wants to be 'next' to have a baby and has had some issue with conceiving and I feel like this news will crush them

I think people are surprised and you get a lot of 'wow you're brave' comments, but a baby is such positive, happy news that mainly people are just excited for you.

I’m 5 weeks pregnant and my son is 9 months old, this was planned as it was the right time for us to complete our family now. I’ve spoken to people with the same age gap who admit it’s hard but will also say it’s very rewarding. Once you’re through the early days (which I think is a bit of a blur even if you only have one child) it gets easier, apparently. The advice I’ve been given is to make sure to prioritise well. Also to be very organised! Remember that the older of the two is still a baby so don’t expect too much from them.

I understand how you feel being worried to tell people the news, I’m in the same boat because I don’t want people to see it as anything other than positive news.
Things will work out well. Good luck!

I had a very similar situation with mine. My daughter was a year old when I found out I was pregnant again and this was after taking the morning after pill! My husband left for Afghanistan for a 6 month tour when I was about 3 months pregnant. As you can imagine this wasn’t what we planned at all. Luckily he made it back the week before my son was born. You make things work even though it may be hard at times.
The pros of having 2 close together are: you remember how to do everything so vividly from your first - your second will feel like walk in the park! They will be the best of friends. Often my 20 month old took priority so the little one got used to waiting for things! Try not to worry and have faith in yourself! Mine are currently 7 and 8 and have the best brother/sister friendship.

Interestingly, I feared the first year most but I think a lot of people will tell you actually it's the second year where you have two mobile toddlers that's the most challenging time. But I am sure you will sit there one day and think I'm so glad it all happened the way it did x

There is 11months between my sister and I. We are adults now and have always been very close. I don't ever remember her not being there. Congratulations