Unplanned pregnancy with 10month old and 5year old! Partner left 3 weeks ago!! !

[Mumsn00dle]

Help!
I can't decide what to do with my situation.
Never had an unplanned pregnancy in my life and I'll be 40 this year!
My partner and I separated 3 weeks ago and I only just found out I'm 6weeks pregnant!
My daughter is only 10months old and my son is 5. He loves his sister but I can't imagine how he'd feel about this!
I can't imagine having enough energy and time for another baby.
I'm worried neither rod my children would get enough attention and y son in particular might resent me/or the baby.
Things are fairly bad with my ex but he is a good Dad.
I feel the odds are stacked against this somewhat.... bit j haven't ever had to think about this situation before and j hate the idea of termonation.
The baby is here whether it was planned or not and I don't know of I could or should take action to stop that?
I ha e an apppintment at a clinic this week for a dating scan. That will make my mind clearer i hope, if i know how far along I am and what my otions are... bit I also know if I look I may not be able to terminate.
I'm scared doing this on my own.
Will I be strong enough mentally and physically and will I ever really sleep again?!
Sleep deprivation can be torture and now matter how much help o mag get form the ex and my family, it's not the same as those dark hours.....
Any advice offered great appreciated! X

I'm so sorry. This is so hard on so many levels.

I'm nearly exactly the same age with two children 6yo and 10 months.

If I was only 6 weeks pregnant and in your situation I would seek a termination. A new baby is a lot of work as you know which can be managed but with all the other aspects to your situation if it were me I would want to focus on a stable and secure next 12-18 months for the two children I already have.

I had a missed miscarriage where the foetus stopped growing at 6 weeks and took the pill to expel it. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Know I know it's not the same as my body ended my pregnancy but it's such early days.

Trust your gut as this is your life and your body and you know what your really need and can cope with better than any of us.

Hugs 💐🍫

I also meant to add that maybe make your mind up before you have the scan. I wouldn't have a scan if I wasn't going to continue with the pregnancy.

If you do continue you will find it very hard and may feel a bit like a zombie for a few years but we are strong and resilient as women and you will get through it if that's what you choose to do. Trust your self, be honest with yourself. If may sound silly but being truly honest with yourself is often harder than you think. Deep down you know what you are capable of and what you need and want for your life. Trust yourself.

What ColdCottage said. You have enough on your plate without another baby.

Good luck.

How are you doing OP?

Hi, thanks for your honest and supportive messages. I'm ok today. As my ex and talked about everything. Still not really any clearer what I want to do. It's a fairly straight split between head and heart; head says no it's too much but heart says it's here already, I can love it.
It would be a lot though.
I feel sad when k think aboit not having it, bit that doesn't mean termination isn't the right thing.
I have been advised to have a scan so I can be sure how far along it is. As im still bf my cycles are all over the place, so though I think I'm about 7weeks, I may be more... and that would affect options.
If I'm really early it would make the decision easier. I've not rushed into this because it's so important but the longer its here the more difficult it feels of course.
I don't feel too emotional messed up by it right now, just know I need to make the right and as you said, honest , choice.
Will let you know how it goes tomorrow night.
X

Perhaps just ask not to see the screen at the scan. Seeing it will make any decisions harder.

@ColdCottage

Perhaps just ask not to see the screen at the scan. Seeing it will make any decisions harder.

That is a good suggestion.

I hope you are well under 12 weeks, op.

Good luck whatever you decide.