Mixed Feelings

[3rdtimestupid]

I replied on a different thread earlier but have decided to write my own post, I'm feeling a wave of emotions

I've just discovered I'm very early pregnant (4+3)

New relationship. Was really happy together but with this news he's not happy at all, and it's now ended.

I have support from family and friends who I have told. Everyone is really excited and happy for me. I am happy but I'm scared shitless.

But I'm just judging myself that I was so stupid to allow this to happen (the pill was in the pharmacy to collect ready for my next period as I wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant - lucky I did.

I'm anti abortion (for myself - others can do with what they want, so boyfriend feels I've already made the decision without him. Which I understand and if it was him that had to do it it would be his choice)

I've given him a get out of jail free, knowing that he really doesn't want this baby (I know the whole he is half responsible etc too but realistically it's down to me) and I'm not going to hold him to ransom. Maybe he'll change his mind. I won't hold my breath.

Timing not ideal. My children are older and I have a lot of freedom and I like a single person when I don't have my children, I think this is what I'm scared of and mainly because I didn't have the ideal the 1st 2 times (one teen pregnancy brought up with help from mum his dad is involved but barely ) and second from a toxic and unsupportive partner. (The type that went out and got drunk when I was 7 days over due and went into labour)

So 3 (will be very loved, wanted and cared for kids, 3 dads,

I'm starting a new role, I'm studying, I've got a tiny car etc x

Not really sure what I'm asking for, maybe just someone that's in this situation and it's fine?

I'm going to have age gaps of nearly 18 years (eldest is really happy for me)

I'm out the loop, I'm scared, and I was determined I was going to do this properly x 🙈

Am I a total F up?

[3rdtimestupid]

To add, it was in my plan to have another.... just wanted to be married etc.

[Aurora124]

Personally I feel everything happens for a reason.. This was meant to happen. Things might not be on your ideal terms but you have so much support even from your 18 yr old. It won't be like when you were a teenager. You are experienced at this. Everything will work out and be O.K. x

[Athena1985]

Hey , totally agree , you have been brought a gift and the dad sounds like a looser he needs to man up- he’s going to be a dad but if he doesn’t so wht - you’ve got this xx