Reassurance/what would you do

[MrsF111]

Hi ladies,

I have taken the tablets for my missed miscarriage and just about stopped bleeding. I have said to my OH I now want to wait until after the wedding which is next June before we try again but i have a little niggle about leaving it too late (not helped by future mother in law saying - well thats a year away your fertility might have changed!!!!!!!). My mums advise was to try again now and if i am pregnant at the wedding then she will just alter my dress but I just think in 5 years time when I hopefully have a couple of babies i wont look back and think, god i wish i had tried again straight away and had them 10/11 months earlier. Any words of wisdom or opinions on the matter? What would you do? I don't want to regret waiting, but at the same time is 1 year going to make a massive difference? I am 31 now and was lucky to get pregnant on my 2 cycle off the pill.

My advise is to not let other people influence you.
Take time to grieve the loss of this pregnancy. Talk with your fiancé and decide between the two of you what you would like to do.

The thing is, no one knows if 1 year will make a difference or not. Just because you conceived quickly once doesn't necessarily mean you will again. That's not a reason to keep trying now if you aren't ready or don't want to, you just have to make peace with the fact that you're making the decision that's right for you, whatever may happen in the future.

I waited until I was 34 to try, knowing that I would probably be better off trying earlier from a fertility perspective (I had a fertility check-up done when I was 30 and was told I had slightly polycystic ovaries and that might affect my chances of conceiving). I knew I wasn't ready to be a parent and I accepted that waiting might mean a longer or harder road. That was the right choice for me, but it may not be the right choice for anyone else.

@MrsF111 I had a MMC in March last year. First pregnancy. I consciously waited before trying again due to different things planned last year. We started to try again in Feb this year (so I gave it almost full year), and got pregnant on first cycle. I'm 35. 26 wks into this pregnancy and all going well so far. At my first scan the sonographer asked me whether I'd been trying all this time and I explained I'd made the decision to wait. When they realised I was still super anxious about having another MMC they told me in no uncertain terms that in waiting "my body couldn't be more prepared for this pregnancy" and was ready. Obviously as others have said, don't be influenced by what ppl are telling you to do. You will be the one carrying the baby and if you want to wait a while then wait. Difficult to say whether your fertility will change but from my own experience, I'm 35 and did not have issues. I think you also need to allow yourself time to heal after a MMC. Both physically and mentally. Xx

Hey I was in a similar situation to you - had a MC in sept 2018 and we got engaged in December 2018. We were supposed to get married March of this year but it has now been postponed due to covid. When we booked the wedding we decided to keep trying until March 2019 and if it hadn’t happened by then to wait until married... at this point we had been trying since after the MC after it taking 6 months to conceive the first time.
I felt the same as you where I was conflicted about would my fertility decrease/it had taken long enough within my mind and still wasn’t happening but ultimately it felt right to wait - wanted to enjoy the wedding without either a tiny baby or being pregnant and tired/sick and so that’s what we did. Also due to the MC it was in the back of my mind that if I did happen to be pregnant and something went wrong again it may ruin the wedding.
Started trying again in March as we were due to get married and got pregnant straight away. I do personally feel like the break we took helped my body prepare both physically and mentally whilst the wedding prep and planning gave my mind something else to focus on so I could properly recover mentally.

I agree with what others have said though - ultimately it has to be your decision, try not to allow others to influence and ask them politely to respect you and your partners decision. Good luck.