Studying with a baby (FTM)?

[lumpydaisy]

Hi all, not sure if this is the right place for this question but as I'm currently pregnant I'm trying here!

Thanks to extra annual leave, I'll be finishing work in a couple of weeks and should have a month or more before baby arrives. Then a year of maternity leave.

I've previously struggled a little with my mental health and found I feel better when I'm keeping my mind active and keeping my perception of myself as a scientist.

I'm considering signing up to a 12 month correspondence course (level 5). I'm thinking I could maybe get a head start while I'm sat on the sofa before baby, take a break while baby is brand new and no-one is sleeping, and then return to studying once we're all a bit more used to things. Estimated study time is 8hrs a week. I have a science degree (level 7) so the level of study should be something I can do, but obviously that was prior to baby and I don't really understand what it's going to be like having a new baby!

I've had mixed responses from people whose opinions I've asked so far. Some women who have done exactly the same course with a baby, and said it was a challenge but they did it. Others who did it with two children seem to have found it much harder. Other women who have had babies, but not done this particular course, seem to delight in telling me that I won't be able to do ANYTHING other than baby care for the full year of my maternity leave.

This last response I find hard to cope with - partly because I don't believe it (there are women who start businesses on maternity leave, let alone the women who simply do things for themselves like exercise classes - plus I do have a husband so one would hope he might do some of the caring!), and partly because while I appreciate having a baby is lifechanging I'm not sure how to deal with essentially ceasing to exist as a person, at all, for years - which seems to be the suggestion of some of the women who have given me their opinions.

I appreciate everyone is different, and seems like all babies are different, but I'm just wondering if there are other women out there who have done this (studied while on maternity leave with their first baby), how they found it, and whether I genuinely need to prepare myself for not existing as a person?? (I know most of the time I'll be baby-servicer, but had thought that surely there might be the odd break from this at some point, especially later in the first year?)

Thanks all.

Depends on your baby! If you have a baby like my first: not really possible or VERY difficult. That boy would not sleep, or be put down or generally chill out for 5 seconds until he was about a year old. A velcro baby who actively fought sleep probably sums him up best. If your baby is like my second: absolutely possible! He is so content and easygoing and has slept well since day 1 (I actually thought he was ill at 2w old because he slept so much, but apparently that's what newborns are supposed to do! Wish someone had told ds1!). So I'd say definitely possible, yes, but do consider what you'll do if your baby is hard work. Even then, though, you have a husband so no reason he can't take over for a few hours at the weekend. Good luck!

I started an OU degree part time when dc1 was 5 months old. I've got 1 year to go and have had zero issues studying even when dc2 was a newborn. Sitting an exam at 38 weeks pregnant was interesting but luckily she held on another 5 days before turning up.

This is my 2nd degree. I went to university straight after school originally and to be honest, I've found balancing studying around family life easier than balancing it around my social life/drinking as a teenager.

It's definitely doable.

I absolutely think it’s doable, I was halfway through a distance learning access course when I had my second baby (first was 2 and I was working full time and doing course until I went on mat leave). Once baby was born I decided to do the access course in 8 months rather than 12 so did 8-12 hours a week at least. I then went to uni full time when baby was 1 and other child was 3. My partner works away during the week. Babies nap, and to be honest before they’re 6 months even when they’re awake the are happy in a bouncer or on your knee, or get a sling if they won’t be put down. I used to read my course material out loud like I was reading a story! You’ll have to get used to typing one handed though :) If you enjoy the course you’re doing you will want to find time for it. I agree that it’s so important for your mental health to do something other that ‘just’ being mum.