FTM - what do babies REALLY need

[kittenpeak]

I'm pregnant with my first and everyone is telling to watch what I buy as they found they didn't use / need most things they bought. Moses basket came up a few times, as an example. I'm not talking about clothes / feeding equipment or "toys" but it's more the bigger things.

What do they ACTUALLY need day to day?

• Pram (need to research and think about the car seat combo - advice appreciated there)
• Cot for when they're in their room
• Next to Me for when they're in ours
• Sleepyhead pillow for during the day?
• Soft mats?
• Mobile?
• bouncy chair thing for them to lie in once they've graduated from sleepyhead?
• Changing table?

It's more what they need during the day to sit / lie in etc

Please don't laugh!! And I appreciate there are lots more things, it's just these main fundamental things I'm not sure about

Thanks!

I'm on baby number 3 (8 weeks to go!) and I've never had a sleepy head. We used a moses basket in the living room and moved it to the bedroom at night.
I've also never used a mobile.
My best buys (I'm still learning even 3 babies on ) have to be my soft wrap. Even used it in the house if DS wanted cuddling and I was busy.
Bouncy chair is also high on my list. Both DD and DS spent alot of time in theirs, they cpuld watch the world go back and were easily moveable around the house i.e in the bathroom whilst i showered or sat in the kitchen whilst i cooked.
This time we have a swinging one but only because it was gifted to us.
I've also never used a changing table. We have a small box which we keep in the living room with nappies, wipes, nappy sacks, sudocreme etc in and a changing mat which we just get out when needed.
People swear by different things but for us we found what worked

Very little, don't be drawn in by the baby books.

Wipes

Nappies

Lots of flannels

Baby grows with the things in to become scratch mits

Vests (( more to keep nappies in place than anything))

Socks, bibs, flannels. Preferred these to muslin and still have some knocking about.

A small basket to keep wipes etc in downstairs. I used towels instead of a changing mat as easier to put in the machine.

A bouncy chair that lies flat to double up as a sleep space downstairs

Bottles / steriliser if not breastfeeding

A few, eyecatching toys. Both mine loved their baby gym, it was a very eyecatching sesame street one which has served 8 babies to date.

Few books.

Sling. Find your nearest sling library for this.

And at the risk of sounding twee an abundance of love, patience and time.

My friends just bought her dd one like this for downstairs........ I'd be wary of how safe sleepyheads are tbh.

www.babyandchildstore.com/shop/walkers-bouncers/bouncers-rockers/kinderkraft-unimo-5-in-1-cradle-yellow/?gclid=CjwKCAjwmf_4BRABEiwAGhDfST_3Bt0vKA4p2GTB1QIGE2XHlXxt8ZKqQ4VfjQnxcRg_L4HSIxtPphoCbJMQAvD_BwE

I've never felt the need for a changing table - we just used a cheap mat on the floor or on top of the chest of drawers. We didn't bother with a sleepyhead and the bouncer was largely treated with disdain. Mobile came with the cot and looked cute but served no purpose and DD pulled it down before I knew she could stand.

Baby gym was a good buy as was a good sling and a decent buggy. Mats or rug if you've got hard floors and need some where soft for baby to lie down. I'd get the basics (buggy, car seat, cot/next2me) and then see what baby needs from there - you could spend a fortune on slings and have a baby who hates them or loads on sleepyhead and places to put baby to discover you've got a velcro baby who won't be put down.

I have a 3 month old. From my experience so far:

''What do they ACTUALLY need day to day?''

• Pram (need to research and think about the car seat combo - advice appreciated there)

Consider if you need car seat to go onto pram. Ours swivels and stays in car and then bought pram with carrycot in a different brand suitable for our lifestyle.

• Cot for when they're in their room

Can buy later if getting bedside crib

• Next to Me for when they're in ours

We started with regular cot in our room, but bought this also as couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. Its not essential if cot fits in your room but a handy luxury. pain to get in and out of bed though (hence why i stuck it on dhs side!)

• Sleepyhead pillow for during the day?

not safe or needed imo. Ours naps in pram carrycot daytime mainly, means it makes worth buying carrycot. or in bouncer chair, sling or on us.

• Soft mats?

Playmat? sure. We just used a folded regular blanket on the floor for now so could use if you have one.

• Mobile?

We have one over cot. He has never slept in cot yet as in next to me, so not used yet.

• bouncy chair thing for them to lie in once they've graduated from sleepyhead?

Bouncer chair is most used item here. Have used from birth especially good when we are eating or for naps if he is unsettled elsewhere.

• Changing table?

Essential to have high surface imo. We just use a mat on top of chest of drawers though. means storage for babies stuff and changer in one, and will last when not needed. Baby needs changing lots of times per day, I wouldn't want to constantly do that on floor. First not comfy after birth, and its just nicer at standing height.

I would recommend cheeky wipes, been amazing for us.
No sleepyhead, very expensive and not safe for sleep.
I would recommend the Moba Moses basket ( now Tommee Tippee Sleepee) doesn't creak or bend out of shape like wicker baskets.
Other than that nappies and a bouncer/ chair and obviously the pram/car seat. One where you can use the car seat on the pram can be great for running into shops from the car ect.

Oh yes and second cheeky wipes. We have gone down the reusable nappy and wipe route and they have worked well and simple to use.

Wow, this is so useful thank you! Sounds like the Moses basket is winning. How long do they last? (As in age?) is it ok to use at night, or is it best to get one of those "next to me" things?

Can you tell it's my first.....? Lol

Agree about changing table - just put a mat on the drawers.

And with the "travel systems" as they are called, is it best to go for a car seat which attaches to the pram, or an exclusive car seat which stays there? I would have thought best it stays there to save damaging it each time you take it in and out?

of course this is all my own opinion but:

best buys/gifts:

• next2me crib. loved having baby so close and I was breastfeeding and had a csection so was ideal for me when I was struggling to move.

• swing chair/bouncy chair. somewhere to put baby during the day when I needed to get on.

• travel system was great as like PP could easily transfer car seat onto the base if popping in somewhere, especially if she had fallen asleep. although of course shouldnt leave baby sleeping in car seat too too long.

• angel care soft touch bath seat. was ideal especially for first baths when I was terrified of handling her in general!

I cant think of much more - I recently got a jumperoo a few weeks ago which has kind of replaced the swing chair in terms of where I put her now when doing housework/putting dinner on etc.

biggest waste of money was, as you've heard a lot, her moses basket. should of just used the next2me crib straight away.

oh and if you plan on breastfeeding, a feeding pillow is amazing!

I never had a sleepyhead - not sure they are considered safe if they aren't supervised in it. Never had a changing table - used the floor or a table with a changing mat.
Never used moses basket- had a crib for upstairs and carry cot bit of pram or reclined buggy for downstairs
Did have a travel system with car seat which was useful if baby fell asleep in it and you could just carry the seat into the house

I'm 7 weeks in, in my opinion:

• more muslins than you could possibly think of
• grow bag rather than blankets
• array of vests
• gro egg temperature thingy
• next to me crib

/ bouncer

• pram

For you:

• lanisoh (if breast feeding)
• thermos
• drinks bottle with straw

I’m at FTM and not bought a Moses basket for downstairs. I have a cot in the Nursey for when she is bigger. A next to me in my room for nighttime sleeping. Downstairs I am planning On using the carry cot from my pram (which is also safe for night time sleeping), and have got a stand to go in the lounge. This way I don’t have a bulky Moses basket and carry cot. I also have a bouncer chair and play mat for downstairs.

I would get a pram with a proper carry cot - some are basically a buggy that you clip a car seat on to - then when the baby falls asleep in the pram on a walk you can just wheel them into the house and they can stay in the pram . It can also be used at night instead of a Moses basket when they're little. I didn't have a proper pram with my 1st but did with my other two and it was such a help in establishing a good nap routine and giving me a bit of time at home without holding a baby (a lot of babies struggle to nap without being held or walked)

Hi @DressingGown87 what pram
Are you getting? And when you say a stand for the living room, what do you mean?

Thanks for all the advice!

muslin squares by the dozen. Something to sleep in, a bouncy chair, play gym. Pram make sure if you have a car it fits in boot, you can collapse it easily and it meets your needs doesnt just look good.

Hey @kittenpeak I think you've had some fab suggestions here. I'm 7 weeks away from having number 3 & my must haves have been...

Moses basket for lounge

Next to me crib for my room

Cheap bouncer chair (great for popping baby in, in the bathroom when you want a shower)

I've gone for a cot top changer - I know I'm having a section so being on the floor would be no good for me

Decent change bag (you'll not use a handbag for a while!)

I've ordered the iCandy peach travel system and the Joie 360 spin car seat

A play mat for the floor

Loads of muslins

Metanium nappy cream

Lansinoh nipple cream

Obviously I've got sleepsuits and vests etc but I've not gone mad as you get gifted lots when baby arrives.

My best buy was my sling. My ds2 was in it for pretty much the first 4 months of his life.

Brilliant, thank you so much @LatteLover12. Hope all goes well for you

A safe place to set baby down. I’ve seen this literally be a clean box.
Soft, stretchy clothes
Diapers
Someplace to give baby a bath (this can be your sink)
Something washable to lay under baby during diaper changes.
Gentle soap for washing baby.
Gentle soap for washing clothes.
A baby thermometer.
Nail clippers
Fever medicine.
A car seat if that applies in your situation.

Some money put aside to run out and buy whatever thing you decide is a need once baby arrives.

@kittenpeak I’ve got the Uppababy Vista pram. It’s a wooden stand which folds down (found it second hand in good condition), can move it around the house / or take out, which the carry cot sits on. Means I can leave the pram frame in the car boot if needed, and less to store when the initial first few months have flown by.

Pushchair that is car seat compatible and lays flat - plus rain cover, sun shade

Sling/Carrier (stretchy is okay at the start, semi-structured once they are a bit bigger)

I wouldn't bother with a next to me or a cot if I had another baby and would just have a full size mattress on the floor

Baby can nap in pushchair (lay flat) inside or outside house, or in carrier, so no need for sleepyhead

Suitable height chest of drawers with changing mat on will do the job of a changing table. I live in on old cottage with deep windowsills so we used them as our changing table. But it is handy to have something at the correct height so you don't get a bad back

Bouncy chair was handy as somewhere to put DD when in the shower, but car seat does the same job

Mobile, up to you, but it is the kind of thing that baby will receive as a gift

Soft mats, depends on your flooring if it is really necessary

Other items:
Cloth wipes (so much better than disposables)
Boobs
A few babygros
I found tuppence and crumble star wraps brilliant, great in sling, safe in car seat, go on and off easily so if baby is asleep when you come inside you don't wake them, and great for around the house when your doing skin-to-skin in the middle of winter.

• Pram (need to research and think about the car seat combo - advice appreciated there)

We got a travel system with carrycot and pushchair but didn't use the carrycot for long (it was small and DS outgrew it fast) so in hindsight we probably could have got away with no carrycot and just a lie flat pushchair and newborn cocoon type thing.

We bought the car seat that was in the travel system package but you don't necessarily have to, you just need to make sure you can get adapters to fit the car seat to the pushchair, and there are quite a lot of options. For choosing the infant seat I would recommend one that is reasonably lightweight and has decent growing room, removable inserts etc (our Cybex car seat was really heavy and not very roomy so again outgrown quite fast, in hindsight I think a Maxi Cosi one would have been better)

• Cot for when they're in their room

Yes you do need this and I recommend a cot bed rather than a cot, lasts longer

• Next to Me for when they're in ours

Yes this is very handy, personally I would go for the Tutti Bambini Cozee bedside crib instead, but there isn't a huge difference. The Cozee can be folded up easily and used as a travel cot too but I think the Next2me might be similar.

• Sleepyhead pillow for during the day?

Hmmm not convinced this is essential, they are expensive and not advised for unsupervised sleeping.. having said that we bought one out of desperation when DS woke up every time we tried putting him down, and he did sleep better in the sleepyhead! So maybe wait and see until baby is born and then just buy one if you struggle?

• Soft mats?

Do you mean for lying them on the floor? Depends if you have hard or soft floors, we have carpets upstairs and a big rug downstairs so didn't need any soft mats, but if you have hard floors everywhere it's probably a good idea.

• Mobile?

Nice to have, not essential. We put one on our wish list and someone got it for us.

• bouncy chair thing for them to lie in once they've graduated from sleepyhead?

Bouncy chair is very handy indeed, we got a BabyBjorn Balance one which is expensive but well worth it. You can get them second hand and they are washable.

• Changing table?

We didn't have a stand alone changing table but we did have one that goes on top of the cot, which was handy, you can also get one to put on top of a chest of drawers. Bit easier than kneeling on the floor to change them. But not really essential.

You will need something for baby to sleep in for downstairs naps, you could use a Moses basket, pram carrycot, sleepyhead, or a travel cot. If you use a travel cot, get one with a bassinet insert.

My essentials:
-I personally went for a pram which the car seat could attach to (bugaboo chameleon) and found it really handy for quick trips to the supermarket/nursery run but not essential. My first is a BIG boy and the spin car seat saved my back massively getting him in and out of the car would highly recommend.
-tuppence and crumble star blanket, best thing ever!! can be used safely in slings and car seats and so much less stressful than snow suits (these also are now my go to present for new parents/babies)
-muslin squares
-use the pram carrycot and bouncer for daytime sleep downstairs. I was lucky to be given a sleepyhead that I did use but I wouldn’t have paid the price personally.
-next to me- we had a cheaper version of this that was just as good but didn’t I actually have it attached to the bed (used it as a crib) as post section getting out of the bed with it attached was a pain I needed space! If you have the room a cot next to your bed is just as good IMO.
-no changing table I just used a mat on the floor-babies cannot roll off the floor.
-stock up while pregnant every time you do a weekly shop. one week buy a couple of packs of nappies, the next week a big bottle of fabric softener and washing tabs (babies can really generate washing!!) the next week a giant pack of baby wipes/cotton wool etc then you don’t really notice the cost and by the time I had my first I had a massive stash that lasted months-think baby prepping!

We have a Cosatto travel system and it is great. DD grew out of the car seat by the time she was about 9 months but it was very useful before then, not having to take her in and out of the carseat for short trips/as soon as we got home so she could continue her nap as she would usually fall asleep in the car as a baby. (Obviously not advocating leaving small babies to have hours and hours of naps in a car seat all the time before someone mentions it.) We actually weren't going to bother with the car seat for it and didn't buy it when we bought the pram, then we panicked and changed our mind and went back and got it and I'm so glad we did, it was so convenient.

We used a Bednest as a crib til she was 6/7 months old although we only had it attached to one side of our bed for about 3/4 months. We did that on their rental scheme so it was sooo much cheaper than buying a bedside crib but I think they've stopped their rental scheme now.

We didn't buy a bigger car seat or a cotbed until around the time we actually needed them. You have so much stuff with a baby you don't want loads of extra things you don't need straight away.

For naps downstairs we had a cradle which rocked but that was a hand me down otherwise we wouldn't have bought it. We did get some use out of it especially when she was a newborn to rock her in it but after she was a few months old she wouldn't fall asleep in it anymore so it was just a place to put her down. Which was fine, but we had the pram carrycot anyway so could have easily just used that (and we did sometimes). We had an ancient bouncy chair as a hand me down which we used LOADS until she was about 6/7 months. I would definitely consider one that bounces or swings itself though as it was Hard Work spending endless hours bouncing her as vigorously as she liked to go to sleep. But then my DD was high needs so.

DH also got loads of use out of the Baby Bjorn carrier, he would take DD on walks when she wouldn't stop screaming and she'd quickly fall asleep in it. And we would use it if out and about if the pram would be a pain.

We got a changing table when we moved house when DD was 6 weeks old and I wish we'd had it sooner. I had a very painful birth injury which didn't heal well initially so I couldn't change DD on the floor for weeks and weeks. I was doing it on the sofa or dining table at first which wasn't as comfy or hygienic. We just got the cheap one from IKEA, so worth it. We used it until DD was about 18montjs.