Child birth dilating

[Dontjumptoconclusions]

This may be TMI but here goes...

Im due with my first in December this year. I'd like a natural birth but I'm quite tight down there. Think lots of pauses and Lube during sex.
So I'm getting nervous regarding how much I'm actually realistically able to stretch during the vaginal birth.
Dilating 10cm, does that happen quite naturally as the baby crowns during birth? Or am I expected to push and push until I stretch myself out to that size? Because I genuinely don't think I'd be able to do that, even with all the gas and air. I'm trying to understand how much of birth happens on its own, and how much is the physical work and stretching of the mother.
Totally new to this so any help would be appreciated!

It’s the cervix (internal part at the top if the vagina) that dilates to 10cm during the first stage of labour and you don’t actually have to do any work to make that happen.

The perineum (outer part where you feel tight) only stretches right at the very end just as the baby crowns. You will already be pushing at this stage and the midwife will probably be telling you to try and just do small pushes so that the baby crowns as slowly as possible, reducing the risk of a tear.

If you are really worried you could talk to your midwife about the possibility of having an episiotomy.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
You wouldn't be expected to push at all until you were fully dilated to 10 cm. If you tried to push before your cervix was ready and dilated, you would risk making the cervix swollen, complicating things. The contractions themselves will be working to soften and dilate the cervix. As for the rest of your concerns about it, have a good chat with your midwife, who will be able to discuss it with you and put your mind at rest x

I have vaginismus and was worried about dilating. They referred me to the consultant to discuss it because sometimes women opt for a section if it's bad.
As it was I didn't get a choice because he came a few weeks early and it was fine. Even my examinations didn't bother me whereas sex would have been really painful.

I'd suggest mentioning it to your midwife but try not to worry too much.

I’m tight , really tight ! I once had my cervix examined after an early miscarriage and the nurse commented on how narrow I am. I was so worried during labour but baby delivered vaginally . I did need help with forceps but that was more to do with baby position . It’s amazing what our babies are capable of.

Thank you so much everyone. Its giving me some hope that I can go through with it all!
Will get some more details from my midwife but wanted to ask on here as I didn't want her to think I was a complete idiot 😂

I really recommend the Positive Birth Company - they have an online hypnobirthing course. It covers a lot of natural pain management and coping skills for labour and explains childbirth/interventions in an accessible way.

Your cervix dialistes to 10cm through contractions, your vaginal opening will expand as the babies head pushed out of it, it your worried try perineal massage

Look into perennial massage it can help Steve and prepare the perineum for birth