Not being able to work almost entire pregnancy - how do you cope with it?

[Saoirse22]

This is going to be long. I'm wondering if there's anyone who wasn't able to work for most of their pregnancy? How did you cope with it, and I don't just mean the financial side of it? How did it affect your mental health?

I'm probably the champion of stopping with week early. I'm now 36 weeks. I'm self-employed and I was forced to give up work at just 4 weeks, immediately after learning that I'm pregnant, and ever since I managed to have maybe a total of two weeks of effective work. My sickness never went away, I spent some time on bed rest because of various issues. Pains got better, but sickness is still on and off and in general, I was too sick and too weak to work pretty much every day of the pregnancy!

Being self-employed, all of this have huge repercussions for my income and business management - no work virtually means no money as there's no maternity or sick leave I can get at the beginning of my pregnancy. I will be getting Maternity Allowance starting 17 Aug (for 39 weeks; baby is due 21 Aug).

Obviously, the whole coronavirus situation happened on top of this! So where other people were concerned about their finances from March onwards, for me it's happening ever since December and my savings were already well drained by March. It all made me feel guilty, incapable and almost like I'm worth less than other women who are at work until 30-something weeks. I felt, and sometimes still do, like the whole world is judging me and thinking that I'm exaggerating and lying about how bad and incapable I feel. Hubby is amazing about this, he works for both of us and is very supportive and doing his best to assure me that I will get back on track when the time is right for my body. We're not wealthy in any way, but we manage just fine and can afford to buy what we need. I couldn't imagine a better partner.

I just can't shake the feeling of guilt for not contributing with anything and thoughts about what will happen to my job in the future... Being off work for so long when you're self-employed and your business depends on you interacting with your audience is devastating. Sometimes I almost feel like I'm exploiting my husband. Was anyone in a similar situation, how did you handle it physically and mentally?

Thanks to everyone who decided to read all of this xx

I can't lie I've absolutely hated it. Got pregnant middle of feb and by middle of March I was sent home as was high risk because of the virus. Then got made redundant in April so I've literally been off most of this pregnancy so far I'm now 26 weeks. I worked up until the day (surprise) I had my first son and felt much fitter much more energy and being home so much this time has been awful. But it's been very out of mine and everyone else's control. I've felt very lost and very nervous/anxious this time around just being stuck at home. I definitely think it's had a huge affect on most peoples mental health including mine. I was in my job for 9 years and loved it so the thought of starting new after baby is born is really daunting, not to mention the financial side as you've said. It's all been far from easy hasn't it. I've found my midwife a great source to be able to vent to when I see her. I don't think any of us will forget this pregnancy in a hurry!

Same boat here! I was on a contract that was due to be renewed in the first week of April, normally this would be no problem and I was planning on renewing it but of course Covid kicked off. I worked in a high risk of Covid area, with patients so didn’t feel it safe for me to return there whilst pregnant. They didn’t allow me to work from home even though I could easily do phone consultations and admin work so I just chose not to renew my contract.

DH is WFH and earns enough to pay rent, bills, food shop and essentials but not really enough to have loads left over. We are really feeling the financial strain although the good thing is that since lockdown, we haven’t been spending much for going out and eating out etc so saving some there. At the beginning it was fine but it was starting to affect my MH a lot just being home doing nothing with myself and feeling miserable I couldn’t see anyone. I felt a lot like a 1950s housewife just cleaning all day and having dinner ready for DH for when he finished work - and I’m far too feminist for that so it has been really difficult to switch my mindset from this tbh.

What did help however is focusing my energy else where - I opened up an Etsy shop and whilst it’s tiny and not super popular or anything, having something creative to do just for me has been a God send. Not earning loads from it just yet but earning enough to treat myself to about £50-£100 a month so that’s quite nice as well as I feel a bit guilty asking DH to buy me bits all the time. He’s been happy to buy my stuff but I felt a bit weird about it and just not used to not having any financial independence at all.

I’m 37+4 weeks pregnant now so just counting down until the end! Definitely won’t be forgetting this pregnancy or experience any time soon however.

I’m the same. I’ve been furloughed since April, but just found out my job is likely to be made redundant. I’ve been lucky to receive furlough pay, but I’ve found it so hard not working. I’m used to being so busy at work and commuting/socialising, so I’ve really struggled with it, especially with the pregnancy hormones/feeling sick & a few other complications linked to my pregnancy.