Covid - partner missing out on pregnancy milestones

[reidster]

Hi All.
Looking for some advice
I'm nearly 36 weeks pregnant and my partner is feeling really sad that he keeps missing out on my scans/milestones. We had a really hard time conceiving and when through a couple of rounds of IVF to get here. I've got my 36 week scan tomorrow and he's really feeling terrible that he can't come to this one either and he feels like he's missing out on key pregnancy events. This is likely going to be our only pregnancy.
Does anyone have any tips on how i can help him feel more part of the these last few weeks of pregnancy. He already spends lots of time talking to the bump and feeling kicks etc. He's been really involved in picking items of clothing and nursery. I just really feel bad for him that he's missing out on these key milestones :-( - as he wants to be as involved as possible in every part!

Thanks

Can you book a private scan x

I've got a few friends in this situation - most have gone for private scans after the NHS ones, so that the man can see the baby too, and get excited.

I'm not sure if you'll be able to sort one for tomorrow, and at 36 weeks I think what you can see on a scan is more limited, but you could book a private scan so that he's seen at least one...

Hey! 19 weeks over here and in the same boat as you.
Some private clinics have now allowed partners to join scans, so we went for a gender scan together and it was a wonderful experience together. Definitely made it more real for him Maybe something worthwhile for you both to consider?

Thanks guys. I'll see about booking a private scan - though we'd always said we didn't want to do that...but perhaps its the right thing to do so that he can get to see bubs before he/she arrives.

I’m 37 weeks and my DP has also missed out on scans etc it is so rubbish for them. However he has taken the approach that rather than him missing out he is doing what’s best for our safety-it’s to keep me, baby, hospital staff and all the other mums and babies safe him not attending and what he has to do as a dad is keep us safe. He is already doing lots of positive things talking to bump, sorting nursery etc. From a purely medical point of things scans and appointments are medical examinations to check everything is ok and although great to have OH there it is not about seeing baby but making sure everything is progressing as it should and dealing with any issues that arise.

I will be 20 weeks tmro and got NHS scan Friday then we have booked a private one Saturday as my partner has not been able to attend NHS ones. I hated going to my first scan alone as was worried might receive bad news and would have to face it alone. My partner waited outside hospital for me so he was there soon as I came out.

We plan to find out what the sex is on Fri if they can tell and I asked him would he prefer it to be written down so he could find out first but he says he happy I tell him. It is so hard on dads not being able to attend scans etc I just hope he able to be with me at the birth and stay afterwards rather than having to leave straight away

My trust let us video the scans, would this be something to explore?

Outside of scans, could he help you with finalising birth plan? Little thinks like writing down he's the one to cut the cord, if you can't do immediate skin to skin for him to do it, and if you haven't found out if you're having a boy or a girl for him to be the one to check and tell you could make him feel a bit more involved in the final stages x

@alphabetti A suggestion could be that you both find out at the private scan together to make it a bit more special? So even you don't find out at the NHS one and then both have the surprise on Saturday?

@EllieJai44 yes that is a good idea however my thinking is the private scan will give confirmation of the sex. Obviously my main concern at both scans is the health of the baby. With my son I had 2 scans that confirmed he was a boy and with my daughter I only had the 20week one and I didn’t dare hardly buy anything girly incase she came out a boy!! I know there’s more to worry about in pregnancy just me being silly lol

It’s just a crazy time to be pregnant really!

@alphabetti I always found the private places to be more certain about gender than the NHS scans haha