So anxious about pregnancy. Please help!

[clhx76]

Hi all

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this but could really do with some advice/help. First of all what I’m about to talk about does include talks of termination so if this triggers you please don’t read on.

In 2018, I got unexpectedly pregnant and whilst I was happy for the first day my anxiety started to creep in (I suffer with bad anxiety and intrusive thoughts). Every day I was torn between wanting the end product (the baby) but unsure if I could go through the whole 9 months feeling so awful. On top of this I was convinced that I would die during childbirth etc. In the end, my anxiety was so bad I chose to have a termination.

Now it is 2020 and I am thinking about my future and how badly I want children however I still have terrible anxiety despite this I am still wanting to try for a baby. I spoke to GP and have decided to go on anti depressants (escitalopram) and also to lose some weight before getting pregnant. I am going to start the anti depressants tomorrow.

Now I am left thinking... do I really want this? Will I get anxious again and regret getting pregnant? Will I be ok during pregnancy (Health wise), what if I have the baby and totally regret him/her, what if I can’t cope and I’m miserable etc. However every time I see a baby my heart is longing!!!

Has anybody else been in this situation? Has anybody ever regretted having their child?

Thank you in advance!!

Start the antidepressants, give them time to work, try something else if they don’t help, consider talking therapy, and then consider your options. Your thoughts and feelings are clouded by your chronic anxiety at the moment.

I think a lot of people feel anxious, I know I did. Not quite to your level as I didn't need treatment. I decided to go ahead and I didn't enjoy the pregnancy at all. But I absolutely love being a parent now. So for your questions:

Will I get anxious again and regret getting pregnant?

I'd say you probably will. If you really want to be a parent you'll probably have to put up with that and get through it somehow. If it is mainly the pregnancy itself you are worried about, the good news is that it is for a limited time, only 9 months.

Will I be ok during pregnancy (Health wise), what if I have the baby and totally regret him/her, what if I can’t cope and I’m miserable etc.

This part is where everyone takes a chance. No one can guarantee everything will go perfectly. Of course there is a very high chance you'll be perfectly fine, as most pregnancies are straight forward plus we have great medical care. And that you'll cope fine with the baby. But yes, it's true that some people do regret having children. It's also true that many love it and go back for more.