Is it normal to feel this way?

[Stargazer87]

I'm a first time mum due in November with a very much longed for baby with my husband. I just can't shake off this feeling of panic though as time goes on...I keep viewing it as only having a few months left of our old life. I think I'm daunted by just how much our life is about to change. We've always enjoyed nice trips away, holidays, meals out etc and I'm feeling like those days are numbered. I think the virus isn't helping the situation as I'm feeling trapped in the house and like we can't enjoy these last few months just the 2 of us enjoying the things we love. I really want to change my mindset and be excited about the changes ahead but I think I just feel scared, please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way?

Its perfectly normal to feel that way, a big change in your life is happening but once you've had the baby you wonder what on earth you did without them xxx

Of course yes, it's a big change and also pregnancy makes you feel vulnerable. Good luck, OP!

It's totally normal, it's a huge change! But I promise you the second your baby is born you just change in a heartbeat, none of that matters any more.
When the baby gets a little older, you can still go for trips away and meals out, they may be a little different but you can still do it! I have a 2.5 year old and I have been to Berlin and Amsterdam with friends since having him, so you can absolutely still have a life! Dont feel guilty for feeling like that, you have spent your whole life with you as the priority so it will take a little while for you to adjust :) x

Thank you for your messages of reassurance, I was starting to feel like a horrible person for feeling this way!

Hi OP, I understand what you mean. I am so, so happy to be expecting and we're just so excited. But I do have little moments when I'm alone and I feel a bit sad about my old life.

I also have this anxiety about 'being left out' of things. I went out for a meal last night for the first time since lockdown, and hoped to speak a bit about this with my friends, but I felt a little like I couldn't keep up. They were on such a high and enjoying a drink, and I did feel a little bit like I was on the sidelines. I'm absolutely sure that it wasn't intentional and I am probably being a little 'poor me' but I'm feeling a little flat after it

OP I was thinking of starting the exact same thread, but felt a bit anxious about doing so. I feel exactly the same (also due in November). I'm worried that I'll miss my old life and the freedom I had to eat out, go out and go on lazy holidays. I agree that lockdown has made that feel harder, we had some nice holidays planned that we can no longer go on, so now we'll have a baby and I can't help feeling everything is going to be so different. I'm so glad someone else feels the same. I am excited, but I'm also scared that I won't enjoy being a parent as much as I do my current life. I don't think it helps that there have been a lot of 'do you regret having kids' threads on here recently!

@Keepingcomfy I completely understand where you're coming from. I think it's natural to feel a bit sad about losing your old life. I keep trying to remind myself that I can still do all the things I enjoy, just maybe not for a little while and maybe just a bit different...

@Trufflepuffpuff I'm so glad you feel the same. It's funny, I was thinking the same for a while about starting a thread on it. I feel like you never quite know which way things will go on here, people can either be supportive or disgusted that you're feeling sad about missed holidays and lovely meals out when you're going to have a baby. You don't stop being you just because you have a baby, I think it's about trying to find that balance...

Very normal. Right now you can only imagine the bad things - losing a lot of the freedom you have is easy to imagine and feel sad about.

But what you can’t imagine is all the awesome stuff you’ve never experienced - you think you can, but you can’t really.

We’ve had a much tougher time than many - unexpected twins, both disabled and no family to help. We really can’t do many of the things we took for granted before the twins were born, and often we can’t do the things other parents take for granted either.

But they are worth every second of it. That’s not to say I don’t really struggle sometimes because I do but I would never go back to our lives before children now, no matter how hard it is.

I do miss restaurants and cinemas though 😂