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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Anyone else's partner be like this?

26 replies

Mummy120494 · 17/07/2020 12:46

So I've just recently found out I'm pregnant with our second baby! I'm absolutely over the moon I've always wanted two children ! But my partner let's just say is not very happy keeps saying I've trapped him and he didn't want another baby and he says it's just all about what I want. Thing is he new I wasn't on contraception and still
Had sex with me . But then says I would go in a mood if he didn't have sex with me unprotected but is it fair to say if he really really didn't want another baby he wouldn't care if I'd gone in a mood about him wearing contraception he would just wear it ! Am I being selfish ? How have a trapped him when we already have a baby together? He said he would rather wait? Wait for what? I'm just so confused I'm
So happy and excited and I can't even talk to him
About it because it just causes arguments !

OP posts:
Havlerr · 17/07/2020 14:45

He sounds like a controlling tit tbh. Anyone over the age of 12 knows that if you have sex without some form of contraception you have a chance of conceiving a baby. It’s not rocket science! If he made that choice, he knew full well that it was a possibility you would fall pregnant.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I would think hard if I were you about if you want this baby and if so, do you want him and his negativity around your baby?

lockdownpregnancy · 17/07/2020 18:36

If he knew you weren't on the pill or another form of contraception then he should have worn condoms if he didn't want more children.
He can't blame it on you completely but at the same time if you wanted more children and was purposely not taking contraception in the hope you would get pregnant (pure assumption so do correct me if I'm wrong) and you knew he didn't want any then that's not really fair on him that's you've done
I'm not judging as it 100% takes 2 to Tango as they say!
I think you need to sit him down and have a serious chat with how you move forward.
Super chuffed for you but I do hope you sort it with your DP! All the best 🥰🥰

eandz13 · 17/07/2020 18:57

So you emotionally manipulated him in to having sex with you without protection by 'going in a mood' with him if he did wear it, and now you're confused that he's miffed about the pregnancy, which he'd told you he didn't want to happen?
All the best for your pregnancy but fucking hell, men get ripped on this website.

BL89 · 17/07/2020 19:18

I completely agree with @eandz13

It does take two to tango but you can't now be surprised that he's not happy about it when he made his feelings clear beforehand. Good luck with DP and the pregnancy!

thetangleteaser · 17/07/2020 19:28

It baffles me that anyone would want to conceive a child knowing their partner openly does not want the baby. Completely agree with @eandz13.

MN is the home of double standards when it comes to this type of thing!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 17/07/2020 19:39

You both sound as childish as each other. He's stupid for having sex with you without protection if he didn't want another child, and you sound manipulative for going in a mood with him if he didn't have unprotected sex with you.

BeMorePacific · 17/07/2020 20:00

Congratulations on your pregnancy.
Bit of a crazy situation.
Not sure how you both didn’t communicate better. I hope you are able to get your relationship in a stronger position before your little one is born. Take care x

WhatWouldPennyDo · 17/07/2020 20:04

To answer your title question: Thankfully, no, my partner isn’t like that.

Afraid I’m with most of the others on this one. A totally avoidable mess. Hope you can both do the right thing by baby #2.

Original poster
Mummy120494 · 17/07/2020 21:23

Well thanks for some positive feedback some of your comments are slightly rude but ok you have your opinion I have mine haha thing is I no what I'm
Like and so does he I might of been slightly pissed that he wanted to use protection but I would of gotten over it the thing is you wasn't there and you simply don't have a clue how easy it was for him to have sex with me unprotected on 5 or more occasions lol we have spoken properly now about the situation and he's warmed to the idea like I knew he would lol he's openly admitted he wants more kids he just maybe wasn't quite ready yet but I really didn't see what we was waiting for we're stable have good jobs have a lovely home so why the hell not ! Lol but anyways problem resolved so for the people making judgmental comments when you have no idea bore off :) thanks 😬

OP posts:
lockdownpregnancy · 17/07/2020 22:16

Glad you had the talk with your DP @Mummy120494
Sounds like you've managed to sort things out and really pleased for you.
He was probably just a bit shocked by the whole situation but clearly got his head around it!
I wish you all the best for your pregnancy and beyond 💐💐

Original poster
Mummy120494 · 17/07/2020 22:50

@lockdownpregnancy thankyou very much for your response before ! it was constructive rather than negative ! Yes I agree I think he was just shocked more than anything don't think he knows what happens when you have unprotected sex 😂 but yeah he's talking to me about it now positively which is nice makes me feel much better about the whole situation ! Obviously the only people I can talk to about it is him and mums of Mumsnet haha so your feedback is very helpful to me thankyou :)

OP posts:
DamnShesaSexyChick · 18/07/2020 00:44

According to your previous threads neither of you have a job and social services are involved so please do not lie and be disingenuous, he clearly is being sensible that you are not ready for another child at the moment.

Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy · 18/07/2020 03:57

This is interesting as it seems this was a similar situation to my parents when they had me! My mum told me that she really wanted a baby, my dad didn’t as he already had two children from a previous relationship. My mum stopped the pill, told him and said “ it’s up to you” my Dad was quite keen on sex apparently ( bit gross to think lol) so had sex with my mum and here I am!
They went onto have my sister, not sure if that was under similar circumstances.
Anyway my dad has been generally good but somewhat distant and there were quite a lot of arguments when I was growing up about him not spending time with us. My mum expected him to join us on days out at weekends etc but he focused on his hobby instead. I always defended him saying to my mum that she knew he hadn’t wanted children so what could she expect?
Don’t get me wrong, they are still together and my dad provided for us but I did feel a bit sorry for him being kind of manipulated into having us although I’m sure ultimately he would say he didn’t regret it.

Original poster
Mummy120494 · 18/07/2020 08:23

@DamnShesaSexyChick I've never once stated that we don't have jobs?? Lol I'm currently on maternity and my partner works full time as a plumber so I'm not sure we're your gettin that shit from he's been off work due to COVID-19 but he's back now and I return to work in November! And as for social services they are no longer involved as they didn't see our case as high risk so why don't you keep your opinions to your bloody self idiot

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy120494 · 18/07/2020 08:27

@Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy hi there yeah it does sound pretty similar ! I mean I know my partner and I know he will love this child so much just as much as he loves his other children , like I say he has warmed to the idea now and is talking to me about it properly he was just in shock initially ! But we're all good now :)

OP posts:
IsItGinOclock1 · 18/07/2020 08:37

I was getting broody for another child last year, my husband wasn’t ready as we already have 2 young children. Guess what? I waited until he was ready and we tried for a baby this year. I didn’t huff at him, we took precautions until we were on the same page.

Your husband is v silly for just going along with it, it isn’t rocket science that having unprotected sex leads to pregnancy, but equally you are wrong to do what you did when he said he wasn’t ready.

Mummy120494 · 18/07/2020 08:40

This reply has been deleted

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madcatladyforever · 18/07/2020 08:40

What a prick. Mood or no mood, if he didn't want a child he shouldn't have DTD. What a lame excuse from him.
He should accept he had sex without a condom and suck it up and stop sulking.

Original poster
Mummy120494 · 18/07/2020 08:43

@madcatladyforever thankyou! I mean it doesn't matter now as he's ok with it all but yes and when I said I went in a mood it was hardly a mood I just had a grump for a bit and got over it lol but after that he didn't even question having un protected sex with me he just did so don't no what he expected ! Lol

OP posts:
thetangleteaser · 18/07/2020 09:02

I love these kind of posts, asks for opinions then tells everyone with an opinion to fuck off/bore off, that they’re an idiot😂

Mydogisthebestest · 18/07/2020 09:14

So social services told you not to be together while your wee boy was in your care, as you posted at the end of June. Did you do that? Are you doing that?
I really think you should do the freedom programme as your partner is abusive. Also do exactly what social services say for the sake of your children.

God love you with 2 wee kids to him. I hope you can keep them safe.

kazzer2867 · 18/07/2020 12:46

@thetangleteaser

I love these kind of posts, asks for opinions then tells everyone with an opinion to fuck off/bore off, that they’re an idiot

Yep. Got to love these posts. Posts on a public forum and is then surprised that people have an opinion.

thetangleteaser · 18/07/2020 12:56

@kazzer2867 I’m waiting for us to be told to mind our own business😂

Sounds like an absolutely hideous situation to be bringing another baby into

SueEllenMishke · 18/07/2020 13:01

Neither of you sound mature enough to be bringing children into the world tbh.
To answer your original question ..no my DH doesn't behave like this but then again I don't manipulate him into having unprotected sex with me.
It all sounds quite toxic.

Normalmumandwife · 18/07/2020 13:25

@Mummy120494 . Well I'm glad he has come round but really...what did he think could happen. He puts his penis inside you and fills you with his semen....there is a good chance 9 months later he will be a dad again !!

I hope that being unmarried that you don't experience the lack of financial recourse if you split up which sounded like could have been a risk

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