Can’t do this anymore - exclusive pumping?

[MrsRose2018]

i couldn’t find an appropriate forum for this posts, so apologies if this isn’t the right one

Hi ladies can I get some advice?

I’m 15 days post partum and at the END OF MY TETHER with breastfeeding!

I’ve got big boobs and flat nipples and latching/feeding is nothing short of traumatic!

We’ve made some progress with nipple shields but I’m still being told he’s not feeding properly - baby boy is jaundice (Still 😓) weight gain is just “adequate”, only one dirty nappy every other day (lots of wet ones though) and he’s never satisfied after a feed! It’s getting to the point where we are now having to do maybe 2oz toppers of formula with a couple of feeds in conjunction with bottles of expressed/pumped milk - still never seems satisfied though!!

I’ve started regularly pumping using the spectrum S1 electric double pump over the last 3 days and it’s great but im now thinking I want to exclusively pump and bottle feed!

The constant battle with BF is completely consuming and really affecting me and it’s detracting from the amazing first few precious weeks with my baby boy!

Any advice/support/similar experiences would be greatly appreciated!

x

I could have written this post. Massive boobs meant bub just couldn't latch. Exclusively pumped from the day I got home from hospital for 4 months. Had enough of a stash built up to continue giving her one breastmilk bottle a day until 7 months. Would do again!!!

Yes it's faff with bottles and pumps and sterilisers but I felt I got more rest by getting a 6 hour stretch at night. Still maintained 7 pumps a day other than that. Would feed at 9pm and 3am and dad gave a bottle at midnight. Or midnight and 6am with dad feeding at 3am. Those stretches kept me sane!

You are doing amazing I assure you. It is so very hard for some people. My son was jaundice and breastfeeding didnt come easy here...I feel your pain.

Your baby is most likely not going to seem satisfied at this age. They are meant to cluster feed, almost constantly demanding breastfeeding. Its natures way of building up the supply.
Your supply is note likely to increase with baby to breast rather than pump. Although a good pump definitly with aid you getting all you can for him right now

That lady paragraph should start
*your supply is more likely

*last
I cannot type today

Also adequate is adequate weight. Try not to see this as failure. Making adequate whilst having a hard time starting up breastfeeding is an achievement.

Can you get a call with your local breastfeeding support network? Your midwife should be able to put you in touch.

Theres a point where it just suddenly falls into place and the milk flows. For me it was about 4weeks in. it suddenly got easier, it's like supply has to get to a certain level

I had the exact same problem, when I was on the post natal ward just after giving birth the midwife saw me struggling my literally enormous boobs which have some excess skin too (I know I don’t get it, go figure) and she showed me the ‘rugby ball hold’ it changed my bf journey!

Not a month in and he’s grown latchcing just happens now we don’t need to think/force it.

We couldn't crack it, big boobs and DS had reflux (although I didn't know that at the time). Hats off to anyone who manages to exclusively pump, I managed a week.

Thanks all!

I just wanna to try cry constantly and it makes me genuinely furious - which I know isnt conducive to a good feed - and then im just snapping at DH because I'm so frustrated!

@Wifeofbikerviking I've already had one session with the intent feeding team and I'm back there tomorrow! But I don't know what else they can do? They've shown me the techniques for natural latching, they've shown me how to handle and hold him and they've shown me how to properly use the shields! My boobs are leaking all the time so it's not my supply that's the issue I don't think...

I literally feel at the end of my tether and it's making me resent my astoundingly amazing baby who I'm already totally in love with! I'm trying to give it two more weeks so I've been at it a month. It it's wearing me down so much :(

X

@NameChange I do the rugby hold for the right breast as I can't comfortably/securely do the cradle hold with my non dominant hand and it works periodically but again I just get sucks and hardly any swallows or he just sits on the nipple and doesn't feed

@NameChange I do the rugby hold for the right breast as I can't comfortably/securely do the cradle hold with my non dominant hand and it works periodically but again I just get sucks and hardly any swallows or he just sits on the nipple and doesn't feed

If pumping is working for you and breast is not, go ahead and pump. I did and it was great. In the uk people tend to think pumping is hard and will negatively affect breast feeding. In the USA pumping in parallel with breast feeding is totally normal. If you are thinking it might work for you, give it a try for a couple of days and see

Don't panic loads of babies lose 10 percent weight and are jaundiced, midwives/health visitor make a big deal and make u feel like shit and you are the only one this is happening to! Google power pumping. It got my supply up . My second child is now 6 months and I'm still pumping and breastfeeding. Pumping is fine, not the hassle people make out. I think after 3 weeks things got better but be prepared for the odd bad week and low supply scares every now and again!

If it works for you, that's great! I found exclusive pumping hard, and I bfed 3 of my DC, but the one who needed bottles I ended up on formula, as it was too much - but I know people in the US who manage for months, key is to hire a hospital grade double pump.and get a really good quality pumping bra.

Like.others, if you want to continue with breastmilk do check you've had good specialist advice. One of mine would.only feed at this age if I was lying down on my back, as I had so much oversupply, was at my wit's end and spoke to a lovely bf counsellor who suggested we spend a few days in bed feeding and snoozing, we did and my supply got better and it all sorted, I think the pressure was half the problem.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll end up doing well with whatever works best for you both.

Do what works for you. If you can try and do breast and bottle. Because it does get easier, and it means it will be easier for you when you’re going out if you don’t have to rely on bottles.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I promise the first few weeks are the toughest, it will get easier. You’re doing an amazing job xxx

My DD ended up in SCBU for a few days after birth (minor issue, everything fine) and due to initial nasal feeding and other things we never ended up mastering bf. I started expressing for her nasal tube, and then just continued. I expressed exclusively for about 12 weeks. I was fortunate that I found expressing easy and had a big supply so could also freeze some to extend the feeding time. After that I moved to formula. It's a bit time consuming with the expressing/sterilising, etc but was entirely doable. I only stopped at 12w because I decided I wanted my body back and to stop smelling of milk . If I dont manage to bf this time round I'll definitely express again for a while.
Whatever's best for you and your mental health is best for baby. xx

I could've written this post myself! In fact, I asked for advice on here a few months back.

My baby also couldn't latch and my nipples felt like they were about to fall off. I used nipple shields for a couple of months and baby seemed happy, had lots of poos every day, slept well etc but the HV told me she was really quite small and that she'd only put on 2 pounds in 9 weeks.

I started exclusively pumping and while I was producing about 5/6 ounces from one boob, I was only getting 2 from the other. It got to the point where I was pumping every time I had 10 minutes to myself and only producing enough milk for the next feed. I found it quite difficult to carry this on for more than a month (but I also have a 2 year old, so not much time). It was the most upsetting experience of my life stopping, but it was just too much for me and I wasn't having any time to myself. Since being formula fed, my Daughter has piled on the weight and looks really healthy.

If you have just the one child, I can imagine it would be much more manageable. It is the best feeling in the world being able to provide your baby with your own milk, but also if it becomes to stressful to keep up, I would just do what's best for you. Maybe try it out for a few weeks and see how you get on.

Good luck x

If it works for you OP then go for it! I expressed for my DTwins for 7 months with one or two formula feeds a day depending on supply. It wasn’t what I’d planned but once I got into a routine it was fine. I had a double pump and a hands free top to wear... I pumped everywhere, even in the car (not when driving 🤪).
I remember trying to breastfeed and express at the same time... I wanted breastfeed to work but we had jaundice/weight issues so needed to supplement with expressed milk... and it was totally exhausting and never ending! You are doing a great job OP, good luck whatever you decide!

Firstly congratulations on your baby. Reassure your BF that baby has had the most important bit, the colostrum, even if just some of it. For the sake of you and your baby don't continue to struggle, you know yourself what you want to do, so do it. I went through similar and was texting my brother about switching to bottle. I said something along the lines of I've failed or giving up breastfeeding. My brother replied with the best moral boost, he said no such thing as failure, it's tactical withdrawal. I did just that.

Has your baby been seen for possible tongue tie?

My DD is 8 weeks today and I had very similar problems to begin with.
Ended up giving formula as she was never satisfied for first week or two. I would pump during the day after feeds and at night she had EBM as she would sleep better, otherwise she was on and off the breast and I was never getting any rest. Then mastitis decreased my supply on one side.
I kept persevering and honestly it took 5/6 weeks to properly get going with breastfeeding as I now do it most of the time - DP gives her a bottle of formula in the morning when he’s off while I have a lie in.

I think once they’re out of that initial fussy newborn stage it becomes better, I’m able to breastfeed DD now at night and she sleeps well afterwards whereas it was the opposite when we first came home. I stopped expressing at night too as breastfeeding so much easier - no making bottle, feeding, expressing.
It’s easy to say just keep going but I found it gets better with time and was ready to give it up on several occasions! I still have the odd problem like blocked ducts but know how to deal with it now.

I second the check for tongue tie - it can prevent a good latch.

Also . . . do what's right for you. I fought my own body for months trying to breastfeed; looking back I don't know why I persisted as long as I did because it seemed to make us both miserable. Do what you instinctively feel is right and that will give you the best time with your baby

God Etsy wonderful supportive responses!

The first MW we sawdust after delivery thought he may have slight tongue tie but the MW who discharged us said he didn't...

It's just so frustrating not being able to satisfy him and is perplexing that he can BF for 40 mins and then still take 2/3oz EBM or formula depending on what's available.... l thought newborn babies only ate like 3/4oz per feed? Is he really only getting an oz uff me after all that time??

I'm hoping what you're saying is true and this is the fussy newborn stage and that it will all comes together eventually

Hopefully the lactation specialist will have some nuggets of wisdom because whilst I really do want to continue with the BF it's getting too much and when DH goes back to work in 2 weeks our alternating "night shifts" with him will have to change and I deffo can't keep up this ineffectual feeding routine on my own

X

It sounds very much like he is cluster feeding, which although feels so hideous, is totally normal. My baby would cluster feed late evening into the early hours of the morning, on and off. It’s your babies way of increasing your supply. I’d never really heard of cluster feeding and at the time I genuinely wanted to pull my own nipples off after about 5 hours but I just got loads of snacks and popped on a box set and ignored the time. Once my supply was established, it became so much easier, I pump every now and then for a freezer supply just in case I need it. I also swear by my feeding pillow as I also have big boobs and found it was easiest to position him this way without killing my back. The first 6 weeks are really hard but I promise it gets better if it’s something you really want to do😊

Do what makes you all happy. I exclusively pumped as couldn't bf DD1. It was all - consuming as she was a high needs baby and sometimes would have to be crying in her bouncy chair while I did my pumping. I'm glad she got so much breast milk but it was not good for my mental health.

DD2 tongue tied and no help to get it remedied. I have switched her onto formula as I just couldn't face the battle again and the impact on my mental health. Bf is important but there is much more to looking after and bonding with a baby and in a year or so, nobody will give a hoot how you fed your baby.

Just sending support. My eldest had problems and couldn't feed then just 'got it's at 12/13 weeks and fed for 18 months. I'm 11.5 weeks in with now with no2 with same issues and hoping it clicks soon! It's horrible, hope you get sorted really soon.