Panicking about pregnancy

[Sarah2050]

I'm currently 6wks pregnant and it was planned, I'm now panicking as to whether it is such a good idea. I've just got a horrible
Feeling inside that I'll really regret having a child. I'm married and we have a good relationship, I'm not a high flyer who will lose a career due to parenthood but there's just something that's been niggling for the past week.
I can't get excited about it. I'm worried I'll be stuck with the baby all the time while DH goes to work, I'll be at home covered in mess with a screaming child or forcing myself to attend happy clappy mum groups.
My best friend and in-laws know (they guessed) and are delighted and I had to sort of pretend- it felt terrible.
Is it just hormones gone haywire? Has anyone else had this?

I feel so guilty as DH is excited and I just feel like it's a disaster waiting to happen.

@Sarah2050 I've never done this before either. Can't say I'm in quite such a panic, but I am worrying about how things will work out too.
I've wanted a baby for so long, but it happened a lot quicker than I expected. Still a bit shocked, but I'm very early days yet.
Stuck between worrying how we will manage with stressing it can still go wrong!

I'm sure with the hormones all over the place, what you're feeling will be totally normal.
Be kind to yourself and let your body and mind adjust x

I found it very hard to get excited when I found out too because I wondered if it was the right thing despite being married and stable etc and confronted with life being very different soon! The feeling passes don't worry!! I also thought there was something wrong with me when other people are so excited about finding out they're pregnant I was a bit shocked as it happened quicker than expected. And then my biggest worry about childbirth became my only thought

It is such a major change and very normal to brig out all kinds of emotions in any of us. However, if generally you are more of a "planner" I think that worry of not being able to really know what is ahead is more exaggerated.
Nowadays there are so many choices. So if at any point you do feel the trap of being at home there is an option to go back to work, maybe part time, so you still have the old you not just mummy you. Or it might go another way that you will love being at home with the baby.
The thing is thinking and feeling like this might not be unusual, but the truth of it you will never know until you get there. It's just "what ifs" at the moment and if you didn't have the baby you would have a different bunch of "what ifs" . When you do get there just see how you feel then and make decisions as a consequence of a situation at that particular point of your life.
It sounds like you also have a good network of people that are excited for you this would be a great help later on.
Take care op

I spent 6+ years having fertility treatments. When I got pregnant my first thought was "what the fuck have we done!". Apparantly its not uncommon to feel a bit overwhelmed when you realise you'll actually be responsible for someone else. My feelings subsided really quickly. Maybe you need to get used to the idea a bit? You're early enough to explore your feelings.

I felt exactly like you. I was spending half my day thinking whether I made a mistake, despite the baby being planned and being happily married.

At 20 weeks now do I feel the excitement? Not really :) I'm still horrified at the unknown ahead of me but I definitely feel better than I did in first trimester.

I guess there's a reason pregnancy takes 9 months, so that both mom and the baby gets used to the new circumstances :)

I did the same with my first! I remember crying myself to sleep because I was convinced I had got impregnated by a horrible man (he resisted me being needy and wanting cuddles) and that I’d ruined my career. My DS was planned.

It soon passed. Try and remember you’re not totally rational during pregnancy as your hormones are in overdrive.

Well with shared parental leave you can share the time at home with a screaming baby with your partner so no need for it to just be you.

I hated happy clappy baby groups. Did one or two that DD enjoyed and I tolerated but never really bonded with the other women. You can enjoy coffees with your actual friends during mat leave if it turns out any others are on mat leave at same time. Join NCT if you need to make mat leave friends in your area.

It is completely life changing but babies/ children can fit into your old lifestyle to a degree with some flexibilities and a supportive partner/family - you don't have to entirely lose yourself.

For example we said we would continue to take exotic holidays after DD born and leave her with grandparents for a week. Actually we enjoy her company on holiday (seems obvious now!!) so we still do the same holidays we would have done as a couple but she comes with us. As long as there is a pool and regular access to ice cream and snacks, we can pretty much do what we would have done anyway.