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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant and terrified! I don't know what to do!

9 replies

BecksL25 · 13/07/2020 22:11

Found out yesterday morning I am pregnant. I've taken 4 tests and all show a second faint line. I am freaking out! Not sure exactly how far along but it has to be very early on.

So I'm not in the worst place but I'm definitely not at all ready either. I'm 25 years old. So Is my partner. We are getting married August next year. We both have secure jobs. Some money in savings. Our home is small but will be manageable to begin with. My partner Is really happy. We have talked alot about our future and wanting a family. We had agreed to wait till after the wedding to trying for a baby. I'm so scared I don't feel ready at all. I feel like I'm going to be a fail of a parent and let everyone down!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
justanotherneighinparadise · 13/07/2020 22:15

Sounds like you’re in an excellent place to have a baby!! Congratulations ♥️

KILNAMATRA · 13/07/2020 22:23

Well I was a former hospital worker in care, of 15 years and had to ring my friends when we brought out daughter home to ask what to dress her in, and what to sleep her in ( grow bags).. so no matter who or what you are, it's a scary step for all of us.. but gradually you ll feel your way along... and can model yourself on the type of parenting you think is doable for you... I ve some friends who breastfeed till 3 and no fixed routine.. but I couldn't cope with that.. and mom and baby groups help you figure it out..

KILNAMATRA · 13/07/2020 22:24

I think you ll grow into being a mom.. your way..

SleepingWithTheFishes · 13/07/2020 22:28

If you don't want to have the baby, then you do not have to. Your body, your choice.

If you do want the baby then congratulations! It's scary at first you will get used to the idea soon, I'm sure

Thanks
crazychemist · 13/07/2020 22:30

Deep breaths. Almost everyone panics when they see that second line, even if they’ve been trying for ages (trust me - we spent a looooong time ttc after our first, and I still had a moment of pure panic when I finally got a positive!)

Babies really don’t need much space. Although you can move them into their own room at 6 months (which is still more than a year into your future!), they don’t have to. We chose to keep our DD in with us till 18 months as it was easier for us.

How do you feel about getting married with a 4 month old? You can absolutely do it, but it might take the focus off you, it’s a tricky age in terms of feeding/sleep. Would you consider a shift of date to either earlier or later? A younger baby sleeps a lot, an older one can be more easily entertained by a relative. Don’t know if you have any flexibility with dates. If you want to stick with it, obviously do so, you’ll work round it, but it might change how the day plays out.

You won’t be a failure of a parent. You’re 25, you’ve got a bit of life experience under your belt, a stable partner and a stable job with some savings. While it might be a bit earlier than you’d planned, you’re in a good position to give you child plenty of security,

Best of luck! Being a parent can be really wonderful! (But sleep deprivation is shit. I won’t lie to you on that score. It’s totally shit, but it doesn’t last forever)

BecksL25 · 13/07/2020 23:00

Thank you! I am happy. Really happy. Just terrified and surprised. I really want to be a good parent and do the best I can. Just feel unprepared and I think a little shocked.

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BecksL25 · 13/07/2020 23:08

Honesty I dont mind how the wedding day turns out as long as I get to marry my partner. He feels the same. We just want to be husband and wife. Its just odd getting my head around it. We've had it all planned out so having those plans suddenly change is strange. Neither of us are unhappy (he's actually really excited). Just feel very unprepared and need some reassurance that it will be fine

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BabyB19 · 14/07/2020 10:22

You sound far more prepared than a hell of a lot of other people who manage to successfully have babies and care for them perfectly well! You are in a secure and happy relationship, with secure employment and a home, and more than that, you know that these things are important and are already thinking about how you can make this work making the baby a priority. This tells me all you need to know about how 'prepared' you are. You're already thinking like a mamma! I'm pro choice so if you're not happy or ready then you have options but you sound more than ready to me! Congratulations and good luck! 💗💙

mw90 · 14/07/2020 10:24

Hi, I know it can be scary finding out, my first was planned but there's always something making you doubt if it's the right time etc, I got married when dd was 5 months old, granted it was only a small wedding, but it actually felt more special, tieing the family together with a surname. Things always find a way of working out x

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