FTM - Baby things to buy , gender neutral

[DJBebe]

Hi all. I am FTM and feeling like i don't have a clue. Please can you help me put together the list of baby things (clothes and everything else) i need to buy. We do the know the baby gender so i have to get everything gender neutral. I am 28 weeks , due at the very end of Sept. I am starting to panic as i do not have anything yet. Thank you

You've got loads of time! Panic not.

I always think new borns look adorable in white so most of the new born clothes for my two were just plain white. Remember that they tend only to wear anything for a few hours before they either throw up or their nappy leaks so buy cheap (ish) and buy enough that you aren't washing constantly. Also remember that other people will buy you clothes as well, so don't go overboard! They grow so quickly that you will be moving up to the next size in a couple of weeks anyway.

Furniture wise, I absolutely swore by my changing table topped chest of drawers. Loads of people on Mumsnet say they don't bother but I'm tall and changing babies on the floor or bed gives me backache.

You need somewhere for baby to sleep, a Moses basket or next to me crib, in your room for the first few months. So you don't actually need a nursery set up for a while yet, if you are feeling stressed about getting finished.

Also worth getting a bouncy chair, preferably one that vibrates! Some babies do not want to be put down, but will accept The Chair. Which means you can get a shower or make a cup of tea.

Why do you think you've got this far without having thought about it? Did you not plan your pregnancy? Genuinely not being goady, it just seems an unusual attitude. I'm not sure that planning for babies and all that stuff is necessarily a 'feminine' thing, if that's what you're saying. What about your partner? Can you put together a list together?

Anyway, pretty sure there's hundreds of lists you can look up online. I definitely recommend a good bedside cot that bolts to your own bed, and look into cloth nappies. Get lots of sleep now. God I miss sleep...

Anyway, sure there's more suggestions already, been dealing with weeping child. Good luck!

Oh, and a good baby carrier like a Moby (?). Frees up your hands so you can do stuff and baby gets to be held

Oh shush, Ms, it's not your business why she hasn't planned out buying things yet.

Op, the main clothes your baby will need are sleepsuits, like in the photo. Mine both lived in these till about 6months! They're comfortable for them and easy to change nappies etc. Tiny clothes look very sweet, but imagine that you were going to be laying in bed for the next six months unable to adjust your clothing, that's what your baby will be doing, so put them in something comfortable!

@MsF1t my DD was very much planned and the only thing I bought before 32 weeks was a blanket 🤷‍♀️

There are lots of lists online but most of these tell you that you need about a million things. You really need

Somewhere for baby to sleep - Moses is fine
A car seat if you drive
A pram or sling but you can borrow or get second hand if you want
Some things for baby to wear - don't go overboard - people will buy you stuff. Get 5 x vests and 5x sleepsuits in newborn, 1 month and 0-3 months to start with plus 2 cardis and 2 hats. That's enough.
Some nappies either disposable or reusable
Bottles and formula if you're not planning to breastfeed
Baby thermometer for taking temp in case baby is ill

That's it I think. That is what is actually important, everything else is nice but not needed.

Sorry I forgot

MUSLINS! 2 packs of 5. They get used for everything

For you, you'll need big pants and some maternity pads for afterwards. And if you are going to breastfeed, some nipple cream (sounds gross but total lifesaver)

Essentials for me were:
Short sleeve and long sleeve vests (easy to pick up in supermarkets, high street shops etc)
Sleepsuits. These were used day and night for me in the early days. You want a fair few because babies are sick!
Muslins - basic plain white were all I went for
A bouncy chair - some babies don’t like them, mine loved his.
Somewhere to sleep - we went for a Moses basket, lots of people like next 2 me cribs etc.
Car seat - this is needed to bring baby home from hospital
Pram - wait times can be quite long so I’d recommend you order ASAP.
Sling / carrier - helps around the house if you have a baby that doesn’t like to be put down.
Baby bath
Nappies & wipes (water wipes for early days or cotton wool and water)
Blankets - at least 2 cellular blankets
If you aren’t planning on breastfeeding you’ll need formula, sterilisers, bottles perfect prep (optional, but I loved mine)
Socks, because they’re little feet take ages to warm up
Less essential in early days but needed later;
Baby monitor
Baby medicine eg calpol(we never needed it but it’s good to have!)
Baby monitor
Bedroom furniture for 6m onwards (or whenever you move baby to it’s room)
Bedding

I’m sure there are other things. But you really don’t need to buy lots of things for the early days. I hope the list helps. I’m sure I’ve forgotten lots of things 🙈

As I said, not being goady. I obviously phrased it wrong (knackered!) but the OP seemed anxious about things and I thought they might potentially want to talk that over.

Aaaanyway. Agree with folk that you don't need that much, babysuits are great, and everyone is going to buy you LOADS of newborn outfits. Someone I know recommended to a mutual friend skipping the 9-12 month clothes and going straight from 6-9 to 12 months.

Hi as @bananallamas says lists online will tell you you need all kinds of things that you probably don't need. Companies also target worried parents with all kinds of fancy things that are nice but mostly unnecessary. Babies have survived for thousands of years without most of the kit people buy these days. Looking at my own list it includes :
Clothes - including bodysuits (all in one thing) vests, hats, cardigans and a coat or pramsuit. I would go for comfy outfits suitable for sleeping in, I see so many adorable expensive outfits but they look so uncomfortable! Check out ebay, there are usually bundles of clothes for sale. I recently bought 3 bundles for £15 all together and I should have everything I need now except a coat.
Nappies & wipes
Changing mat
Car seat
Pram
Crib/cot

Under "maybe need" on the list are things like :
A Steriliser and bottles
Formula
A moses basket or place for daytime naps (we live in a bungalow so I don't think it's necessary for us but might be worth considering if you want somewhere for baby to nap downstairs) You can pick up pretty cheap ones from most supermarkets or try and find one 2nd hand.
A bouncy/vibrating chair - some babies hate being put down but are soothed by these so you can get stuff done.
Sling/baby carrier - may be helpful if you want to keep baby close or they don't like being put down but you need your hands free
Isofix base - these are pricey but if you're doing a lot of taking baby in and out of the car, trying to get the seat belt fitted can be a nightmare. I may invest in one as I'll be rushing around doing a school run and being able to just clip the seat in and out sounds appealing. But it depends on whether you would find it beneficial.

All of the "maybe" things are items that make life a lot easier but you don't need them. If you plan on exclusively breastfeeding you could manage without a Steriliser and bottles. But it might be nice to have the option incase you want a break now and then. BF can be pretty relentless!

I don't have a baby monitor on my list as like I said we live in a small bungalow so I'll be able to hear baby wherever I am anyway! Many people like one for if baby's asleep upstairs alone. I think basic ones are fairly cheap, there isn't really a need for a fancy one with cameras. But you may not need one if you're going to be regularly checking on baby. And they will be in your bedroom at first anyway.

If you want to save money most things are available 2nd hand on ebay or local Facebook groups. Lock down has messed things up by cancelling all the nearly new sales and charity shops but they may start up again soon.

Many people spend loads on a "changing bag" but any large handbag or rucksack will do the job just fine. You can get thin foldable changing mats from the pound shop which are handy to keep in the bag because not everywhere has great changing facilities.

You will probably find that people will buy you stuff as well so there's no need to go overboard. Unless you want to of course. As you can probably tell, I'm a tight arse and I refuse to spend money if I don't have to!

Sorry after all that I forgot bibs! And nipple cream is a life saver if breastfeeding as @bananallamas said

I'm expecting a girl but have done most of my "clothes" (vests and sleepsuits etc) in the boys section as they tend to be plainer and less gendered whilst not been stuck with just white.
Baby will need somewhere to sleep, somewhere to poo/wee (disposables or cloth), vest and sleep suits, something tonl sleep in (swaddle blankets or sleeping bags), a car seat, a pram to travel around in. We are going down the reusable route so have a load of reusable wipes if not you will need cotton wool for the early days then baby wipes. Other things to consider are slings, thermometer for the room (groeggs are popular but we are going for a basic thermometer we already own for the start at least) and baby baths and formula necessities if you chose to formula feed.

For you nursing bras if you are planning on breastfeeding, maternity pads (I'm doing a mix of disposables and cloth), long charging cables for phones /tablets.

Thank you all ladies. This is so helpful. X

First time mum or FtM trans?! I think different posters read this differently...

Personally I’ve found a video camera incredibly useful. I thought they were overkill but now having used one, it’s been great. Things I hadn’t taken into account, which the camera has helped with - checking whether a baby/toddler is actually asleep without having to go in and risk disturbing them (my DS can lay very quietly for a long time without making noise so you’d think he was asleep if you couldn’t see him), assessing whether the child is trying to resettle itself and doesn’t actually need you to go in, knowing when child actually went to sleep is useful if you need to wake them from their nap (can time it with the end of a sleep cycle for less crankiness), keeping an easy eye out for blankets over faces or limbs stuck through bars etc, keeping an eye on toddlers who are starting to suss climbing out of the cot. The two way voice function has saved me having to get out of bed during the night on multiple occasions. The temperature gauge is handy too, without needing to go into the room. Basically they do so much than just helping you hear a baby cry and we’ve found ours very useful in practice.

Obviously baby monitor not needed in first 6 months as baby would be sleeping with you at all times, so basic or fancy, it’s not something you need to buy yet. I was just responding to an earlier comment about video monitors not being necessary.

With baby furniture (cot, wardrobe, chest of drawers etc) I found that all of the ones I liked needed 2-3 months for delivery. So even though you don’t need them now, don’t leave it to the last minute!

I found breastfeeding vest tops very useful so you can wear them under your normal tops to feed without exposing your stomach.

A baby bath and bath thermometer are useful too

If you need a sterilising equipment, make sure it will fit in you microwave (if going for this type).

It's so easy to buy things online that I'd wait until you feel like you need things once the baby is born (e.g. I didn't buy a pump at first but had a DD with tongue tie so had one on next day delivery pretty sharpish)

Two things I didn't use that I assumed were essential was a second downstairs Moses basket and monitor.

Two things I toyed with but am so glad I bought - an isofix base. Expensive but in hindsight I've have paid double. And a nice change mat. You spend A LOT of time bent over that thing. It's worth having one that you actually like the look of.

I needed nipple shields and the hospital provided them but a friend's husband was driving round chemists at midnight trying to buy some after delivering at different hospital. They might be handy to have as a 'just in case'.

Generally though some nappies and baby grows will do you just fine till you work stuff out.