Feeling so vulnerable in pregnancy, any one else?

[ZaraLouise7281]

Hi,
I’ll start by saying I have a great relationship with my OH in that we have been together since young pups, trust each other completely, are best friends and can depend on one and other no matter what but also two strong minded independent individuals who aren’t clingy to one and other as there’s so much trust & love and like to have my own space too (I.e. watch my tv & not hear ‘this is rubbish’ every 5 mins).
Now we are pregnant we are thrilled, especially my OH - he has been a model husband in every step of pregnancy and support however personally I can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of now being vulnerable or exposed or alone. Like I said I am a really strong minded person and we always joke he needs me more than I need him (good woman makes a good man & all that) but now I’m just floored with all these emotions of actually I do really need him & I couldn’t do this alone & what if he betrays me or gives me a reason not to trust him but more frustratingly he never has given me reason but my minds racing & I can’t control the emotions or worry & what ifs regarding our relationship because at the end of the day my life is now changed forever with a baby.
It’s embarrassing that I’m even thinking like this because he would never but I just feel like I’m in a vulnerable position being pregnant that I can’t react as I maybe would have normally if anything were to happen because I’m trying to keep my fears in line and not stress baby or put at any risk. I feel so silly one minute then the next I’m balling my eyes out at the idea he might leave in the middle of the night or find a new wife. I know It’s insane (which is the worst part) because he is baby mad & so excited to be a dad - constantly talking about our life and future and family etc.

Has anyone felt as irrational as me? I know it’s got to be just a phase because I have zero reason to feel this way & don’t want to come across weak minded but I can’t shake the worry & don’t want my insane worries to take away from the joy in what my body’s doing.

I'm 38 weeks and I've had the same.

I am absolutely head over heels for my partner as he is with me. He's always been my complete rock, I'd never ever doubt him for a moment. But there has been a few occasions where I've been stood in the nursery and cried because I realised I genuinely couldn't do it without him. Financially he earns more and I feel like I'd struggle emotionally without him. And I panic if we broke up could I provide everything I need for my baby? What if he suddenly changes character and runs off with someone else?!!

I think it's fine to feel these things. You're so full of hormones and emotions. It's so easy to think about the what ifs even if they seem really far fetched. It's because suddenly you're thinking about a small person aswell as yourself, everything seems so much more important and scary. Xx

I think it's completely understandable. Being pregnant can be such a vulnerable experience in general. You have to put your trust in midwives, doctors and your partner and that can be so difficult when you've always been a very independent person. I definitely feel the same way, but I reckon it will ease off when the baby arrives and we all bond as a family. Pregnancy is a weird transition period from being a couple to becoming a family, and at least short term, it does often mean that you need to move your focus from your life as an independent woman with a career to accepting that you will have a certain level of dependence on your partner. It sounds like you've picked a great guy though, and all you can do in the end is trust in your judgement.

38 weeks here and feel the same. It’s on my birth plan that I’m NOT a vulnerable person and not to treat me as such because it makes me extremely uncomfortable!

I felt exactly the same at one point; I was so independent before becoming pregnant and then whilst pregnant felt suddenly vulnerable. At one very hormonal and emotional point I shouted at my baffled DH that he’d trapped me despite this being a very planned and wanted baby and our lives very much intwined for several years. I think there was also an element of realising that I’d be connected to my DH forever through having a child with him; mostly I thought of that as a good thing but sometimes that freaked me out for some hormone driven reason.

Not to dismiss your very valid feelings but pregnancy hormones have a lot to answer for!

@user1493413286 yes! Exactly this, I told my OH he’d trapped me too but as negative as it sounds I just meant like this is forever! I know we go into a marriage thinking the same obviously but it’s more real again. Seems silly when I say it out loud because I know we’re forever but it’s just all so blooming scary & heightened at the moment. HORMONES! 😅

Thanks so much everyone, I felt insane yesterday but better today. I’m sure it will come in phases though & I know I’m trying to dismiss it as best I can because it is silly but hormones make us do/act/think silly things! It’s absolutely madness the changes in a woman’s body whilst pregnant. I’m learning so much.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Life is hard enough without all the other expectations we women have of ourselves. Hope all goes well