Mum doing my head in!

[Glamourous12]

My mum is not a mumsy mum and often I feel like the mother,
Since I found out that I'm pregnant I feel like she is trying to mum me and I'm struggling with this,

Also she keeps saying about 12 weeks scan and how she can't wait to tell everyone her news. It's not her news it's mine and my husbands.

My mom was the same when I got to my 12 week scan. Couldn't wait to tell everyone! And then I started talking about baby names and she went and told everyone our name suggestions too!
It's not because they are making it all about them, I think your mom is just over excited. My mom is already a Nanny (my brother has a son) and she has said to me that the feelings you get as a Nanny are so different to when you're a mom. Maybe your moms 'mumsy' side is finally emerging now she is going to be a Nanny?
I had to tell my mom to back off a bit and keep her mouth shut, as if we wanted people to know everything then we would tell them. I told her if she carried on then I wouldn't tell her anything and she soon listened!
We are however keeping the baby name choice to ourselves until he gets here.
Maybe a chat with your mom over a cuppa and gently put it to her that's she's annoying you! 😂 xx

My mom was the same when I got to my 12 week scan. Couldn't wait to tell everyone! And then I started talking about baby names and she went and told everyone our name suggestions too!
It's not because they are making it all about them, I think your mom is just over excited. My mom is already a Nanny (my brother has a son) and she has said to me that the feelings you get as a Nanny are so different to when you're a mom. Maybe your moms 'mumsy' side is finally emerging now she is going to be a Nanny?
I had to tell my mom to back off a bit and keep her mouth shut, as if we wanted people to know everything then we would tell them. I told her if she carried on then I wouldn't tell her anything and she soon listened!
We are however keeping the baby name choice to ourselves until he gets here.
Maybe a chat with your mom over a cuppa and gently put it to her that's she's annoying you! 😂 xx

She will just get super offended. She has 3 other grandchikdren n my sister is pregnant.. I might just avoid her for a little bit 🤣

She's really excited, and to be a grandparent again is her news. Being a grandparent is different to being a mum so maybe you're just seeing a different side to her

I knew my mum would be unable to contain herself so I made sure not to tell her until I was happy for the world to know. She was a bit sad about not being told before 12 week scan but then immediately went off and told the rest of the family before I got a chance to so I think she proved me right! I don't mind too much though, takes some pressure off me.

I agree with what a pp said, that getting another grandchild is her news in a way. If she was telling people you wanted to tell I could understand being upset, but if she's just looking forward to telling her own friends and things, I think that's nice.

This is something I’m dreading , I’m currently only 6 weeks only me and my partner know. My mums never really been there for her kids she was very selfish but for some reason she tends to think it’s her right to tell you what to do and the world your business. Last year we lost twins at 14 weeks - totally devastated - but once there were no babies - (that she had named btw) she went back to the self absorbed person she is , suddenly I’d let her down and she had to tell people she wouldn’t have twin grandchildren! Like I didn’t feel shit enough . So I truly believe no matter what happens I won’t be involving her in this pregnancy, that may seem selfish but I don’t need the stress.

That's brutal @Ricekrispiecake she actually went round saying that? It sounds like she blamed you for not getting the twin grandchildren she wanted!
I don't blame you for keeping this pregnancy secret (as much as you can for now anyway!) and I wish you the best of luck this time round with your rainbow baby 💐

My mum was exactly like this OP! She was so excited about being a grandma and all of a sudden, her maternal instinct kicked in!! 8 years on, the novelty still hasn't worn off which is great but l remember finding it a bit much in the early weeks of pregnancy and after many was born!

Baby not many

She might get super offended @Glamourous12 but so will you be if she does things you aren't comfortable with. Why are her feelings more important? You have to just put yourself first. I get what you mean, I've had to be really firm with my mum. She really wanted to tell my step siblings so I let her but have insisted no social media at all and I will keep doing that which will get increasingly difficult but has to be done. I think lockdown to a certain extent has helped keep her in check. Just be honest. If she's offended, she's offended. Put your boundaries down now (gently and kindly, doesn't need to be an argument) or it'll just get worse.

At least she's holding the excitement on and not telling anyone yet! When we told my partners mum she went on to tell the whole side of his family without us knowing! And I was only 5 weeks!

It's been a difficult pregnancy so far. And she has been demanding I tell certain aunt first. With my next pregnancy I will wait till after 12 weeks to tell her, its just I can't cope with her trying to mum me, she hasn't done that since I was like 11 why try and do it 19 years later just coz I'm pregnant

It might her way of making it up to you? She might feel guilty about not being from Mumsnet with you.
I'd have a chat with her over a cuppa just to sort things out and you can explain to her how you feel.
I don't your personal circumstance but just make sure she listens to what you've got to say and you listen to her.
You may feel it will clear the air and help you move forward in a way that's more comfortable for you xx