Huge regret over induction and forceps

[orangere]

I gave birth 10 weeks ago and had a high risk pregnancy, which meant that I had to deliver the baby two weeks before due date.

I had initially wanted a natural birth but when I was told that I needed an induction I decided to ask for a c-section instead, as I'd read that inductions often result in instrumental delivery and/or EMCS anyway. When I asked the hospital about the possibility of a c-section, they were clearly very keen on induction and as a first time mum I didn't feel confident enough to argue my case, so decided to trust the experts.

The night I was admitted to hospital to start the induction I was extremely anxious and tearful as I still didn’t feel comfortable about being induced. Once I was induced my waters broke fairly quickly and everything was going smoothly until I was fully dilated, when I was told the baby was back to back and appeared to be stuck. The doctor and then a consultant attempted to use forceps to deliver but it didn't work and I ended up with an EMCS.

Following the birth I didn't give it all much thought as I was focusing on looking after my baby. But during the last week or two I started googling instrumental births and am horrified at how many stories I've come across where babies delivered with forceps have suffered lifelong injuries, from ptosis (droopy eyelid) to severe spinal cord injuries and brain damage.

Looking back now I feel completely devastated that I didn't follow my instincts and have the confidence to insist on a c-section, given the trauma that the forceps must have caused my poor baby. I feel I was pushed down the induction route without being offered a balanced choice between c-section and induction.

Following the birth the hospital looked into what had happened and admitted that I should have been offered a c-section from the outset. While I appreciate their honesty and am aware that hindsight is a wonderful thing, I just wish that they had agreed to this at the time.

The baby (now 10 weeks old) was checked over straight after birth and no problems were found, but yesterday (following more googling) I was in tears panicking that the forceps might have done some serious damage that hasn't yet become apparent.

The baby did have a six week check at my local surgery but it was all very rushed and I didn't leave feeling very reassured. I'd like to get my baby examined more closely for peace of mind but don't know where to turn. I'm thinking of approaching a private GP but am unsure how to find a good doctor who I can trust and will struggle to afford the fees.

Am I overreacting or do you think it is worth going down the private route just to put my mind at rest? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hi, I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so traumatised. I would suggest that you contact your hospital and ask to be referred to their birth afterthoughts team so that you can discuss this with a midwife who can talk you through everything. I think you were unlucky with the way everything worked out for you, even if you had laboured by yourself without being induced there is a chance you may have needed an instrumental birth. Also, C sections are not without risk, indeed babies born by CS are more likely to need help with their breathing than babies born vaginally. Injuries from forceps are really rare, you read the horror stories precisely because they are rare, people don’t write about all the times everything went normally and there were no problems. If nothing has been seen in your baby so far and you haven’t noticed anything then I’m sure baby is ok. A private GP won’t be any more qualified than an NHS one, if you’re concerned why don’t you ask to see another GP at your surgery and explain your fears?

Again I’m so sorry you’ve been left feeling like this, I would definitely approach the hospital so that you can talk through everything and not be left to dwell.

Enjoy your baby 😊

Thanks for the reply. I know people say that c-sections aren’t without risk, but I knew it was likely that I’d end up with one anyway - and I did. If I’d had an ELCS then everything would have been so much more calm and controlled. Forceps are surely a lot less likely with a planned c-section than an induction as well.

Try and be positive and just think it didn't work anyway as baby was stuck.

Can I ask what factors made you High risk and if you know whether all high riskers are 2 weeks early?

I feel like you may be causing yourself more than stress than necessary right now, as you've said your baby is healthy and was born healthy. Horror stories just give you fear, and if you read enough you'll find more bad stories than good and thats because people are so quick to share bad experiences and not sharing good ones!

Take from the experience that you have a healthy baby, if it is concerning you so much, speak to your health visitor or GP, they will either give you reassurance or point you in the right direction of someone who can!

If you're getting yourself into a frenzy it may be worth talking to someone about PPD

Hello I had an instruments birth - ventouse and I felt terrible guilt after as he struggled to feed, had jaundice and then very unsettled for the first three weeks. I think the guilt part comes with being parent. There will always be something we feel guilty about.

To settle your mind ask the gp for another appointment to settle your mind!

@orangere I’m a Gp - can I ask what specific medical conditions youre worried your baby will develop? If all was fine at postnatal & 6 week check and baby isn’t showing any symptoms - there’s really nothing to worry about? (In terms of baby, I can understand why you found the experience traumatic)

Dc1 was an emcs after a 75 hour labour, several hours pushing and failed forceps. He then went to NICU with an infection because my waters had been broken for over 80 hours. I did exactly the same as you, spent hours on the internet beating myself up for failing him. He's 5 now, starts school in August and is absolutely fine. With hindsight, I was the one who was ill. His birth was extremely for traumatic for multiple reasons and I was depressed and anxious. His arrival became an easy focus for my negative thinking because I knew instinctively he was stuck and like you, I didn't push for the csection I ultimately ended up with.

Speak to your GP or your health visitor about your concerns and be kind to yourself

Hi OP, so sorry you are feeling this worry.

I’m on the other side of an ELCS delivery at 37 weeks and have been beating myself up that I didn’t try for an induction as my little one is wheezy and mucous-y and is struggling to stay awake to feed.

Another point to put things into balance: I distinctly remember hearing them call for forceps during my c-section, (my baby was also back-to-back) and I think they are quite commonly used there too.

Like a PP said, the guilt is the thing that unites us all!