I’m scared I’ll panic during birth

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Prob sound mental but I have anxiety disorder and had it for years now, it’s not near enough as bad as it was ( I used to struggle going out at one point and being around a lot of people, even going for a meal used to feel awful)
I’m much better now even though i still get anxious for no real reason sometimes.
I’m so scared of birth and this is my first baby in due the end of October and I really wanted to talk t my midwife about an elective section.
I have my 24 week telephone midwife appointment coming up, and was thinking of asking about it or just asking her about the anxiety and what options I have. I didn’t even know that you could ask for an elective section due to mental health but I got told I can on another group.
For some reason I feel a bit stupid though, women literally do it everyday. I’m so excited to have my baby and have waited years for this (ivf baby) but I’m just no good at all with pain, I find period pains horrendous and I think as soon as I got into a hospital I’d prob end up panicking and that’s what I’m scared of, the feeling trapped and getting the fight or flight feeling.
I’ve started reading about hypnobirthing and some days feel more positive but on days like today I sit here and think how the hell am I going to do it 😕😂. Even the thought of a baby coming out my vagina terrifies me 😄
Am I being stupid? Or should I ask my midwife and see what she says?

If you feel the need to ask then go for it, you aren't being stupid - you are the only one who knows deep down what you feel :) I just gave birth a few months back and I was so incredibly scared, I ended up being induced and the nurses were so nice and I just listened to what they told me. I ended up having an emergency c section because baby was having a tough time and I still remember being so calm! Nurses will do everything they can for you in means of pain relief, I think when you go into labour something takes over you and you know what needs done, I just remember thinking no matter what way this baby comes out I am going to be a mother and that calmed me so much. Stay strong

You are not alone, there are lots of pregnant women with mental health issues including anxiety and tokophobia (fear of childbirth). Please do talk to your midwife about your fears and your wish to consider an elective caesarean. I believe she should refer you to a consultant to discuss it, and ideally should refer you for mental health support as well. In some areas you can self-refer for CBT so it's worth looking that up too. Hypnobirthing is great for calming fears and feeling more positive. How about an online course? The Positive Birth Company does one, and there are others. thepositivebirthcompany.co.uk/

Have a look into hypnobirthing. It’s all about understanding the process and remaining in control and calm. I think it will really help you.
Also remember there are pain relief options for you. Hopefully you have a supportive birth partner and will feel in a safe space. You’ll do great xxx

Also just want to add I used to have terrible anxiety similar to yours, I would have my partner call people because I was so anxious but after having my baby I've been so confident in myself, I don't have doubts anymore, I just look at my little DD and I know she needs me to be brave and to teach her how to love herself. I really hope it does the same to you, it's such an empowering feeling.

Advice about requesting a c-section if that's what you want to do:
www.birthrights.org.uk/factsheets/right-to-a-c-section/

@calzone2018 that is so lovely! I bet you’re doing an awesome job!

Thankyou for your replies, definatly going to speak to my midwife as soon as she rings and will ask all about it. And def going look properly into the hypnobirthing I have the positive birthing book already and going to have a good read of it tonight.
I think programmes like one born don’t help! X

God no don't watch One Born Every Minute!
At my first hypnobirthing class the teacher told us all not to watch it. She encouraged us to read and watch positive birth stories only.

I'm a little similar in that I said to my dp, with all seriousness what I would want if I died in childbirth, he laughed it off and said this isn't victoriana era. But it was and still is a real fear and possibility, its for that reason I've decided to have the least amount of pain meds as possible so that I can feel my body and what its telling me to do. We are all different though, as soon as I can actually see a midwife ill tell her my fears

I’m an anxiety sufferer and also get really bad (hemiplegic) migraines that are exacerbated by stress!! Not ideal for childbirth really so I’ve booked a section, which I’m having in just over a fortnight. I’m with a Trust that supports women’s rights to choose for themselves so I’m very fortunate. I was well informed by the medical team but did not have to be referred for mental health support/evaluation. I did not have to ‘argue’ my case for a section; it was granted during a consultant appointment at week 35.

I wouldn’t discount the impact of your anxiety (mine isn’t something I can snap out of) but I would make sure you have all of the information about your options before you decide. Then I think you’ll be at peace with your decision and that has helped my anxiety in itself. I’m still scared but I’ve made the choice that’s right for me and my baby. There have been traumatic births in my family (some with lifelong disability consequences) and I personally don’t like the unpredictable nature or duration of vaginal birth. So for me it was a case of choosing a method that will deliver my baby safely and quickly with as little stress as possible for me so it can be as smooth an experience as possible.
I do think there are some incredibly positive vaginal birth stories out there though (some people find it a very rewarding and empowering experience) and that it is probably a case of just letting your body do what it was designed to do. I think you’d possibly need to have a good handle on your anxiety as I gather stress hormones can inhibit your body being able to progress with delivery/make it harder to get through but I imagine you’d be in a different frame of mind anyway, excited to meet your baby!

I have major anxiety.... main phobia is of hospitals; which wasn’t ideal!

First time round; I did nothing and didn’t say anything!

Second time around I had learnt from my first, mentioned it to my community MW, she referred me to the pre natal mental health team, which was great! I met with the mental health MW about 4 times before the birth, we walked around the hospital together, she came to see me on the assessment ward and once the baby was born! I would recommend asking for support sooner rather than later!

Ps I think most people would be terrified at the thought of a baby coming out their Vagina!!!

OP I did have a panic attack during labour and it was really dangerous. I didn't realise that that was what was happening. The staff had left me alone and I ended up locking myself into a loo and giving to a blue baby on my own.

I know that might sound really scary but I think it is very important to seek help as it can happen and it can be a real risk.

Try hypno - I found Maggie Howells good - but also talk to your mw, soon.

Hi op, I have tokophobia that started before my first pregnancy and birth (made much worse afterwards, by very traumatic first birth) it was a huge decision to have a second child after my first experience, and I was supported through out my second pregnancy by a mental health team who made sure I got the elective c section I requested. They also gave me techniques to help me deal with my anxiety about the birth. It was a huge help! So speak to your midwife about this as they can refer you for support, it was a god send for me!! I thought like you I was going to have a panic attack during the section but on the day it was a lovely experience. Id written down about my anxiety in my birth plan and the team that did the section were so so nice and understanding after reading this! So don't worry (easier said than done) but there is help and support out there if you want it, don't be afraid to ask and be honest with your midwife about how your feeling! Plus a section for me was an amazing experience that finally put to rest all the fears I'd been carrying around with me from my first birth. I recovered well physically and I'm in a much better place emotionally then I was after ds1. Good luck op with whatever you decide!