12 week to 20 week, no contact from midwife!

[Jazzy1990]

I think it’s absolutely ridiculous, after my 12 week scan around two weeks ago I realize I will get no appointments till my 20 week scan. They didn’t even bother to tell me how my bloods were. The 16 week appointment has been scraped due to Covid. The least they can do is call you up. Unbelievably ridiculous. My friend is pregnant and In a different borough she’s getting two appointments atleast before her 20 week scan. I’m just so frustrated, first pregnancy and you don’t even know if something was to go wrong you maybe could have done something beforehand.

Can you request a telephone appointment?

I had a 16 week appointment pre-covid but it was very short and pretty pointless tbh (I'm also a FTM). I never had my bloods discussed, I think they only mention them or contact you if something flags up so no news is good news hopefully.

It can be frustrating and feel like you're on your own in the first and second trimester (even pre-covid). My appointments have only really ramped up since 32 weeks. I ended up buying some urine dip sticks from amazon so I could keep an eye on protein, glucose etc. They were cheap and helped keep my anxiety at bay.

Apart from scans I won't have seen anyone from 8 to 29 weeks as a ftm. Unfortunately it's the downside of having a covid pregnancy. But I found it reassuring to think if there had been a problem they would have contacted me. Do you have a community midwife? If so they are usually really good at reassuring you if you're worried or have questions etc. I think in the early stages because there's not much they can do if anything does go wrong those are the appointments most likely to get cut.

Tbh even without coronavirus you'd only have an appointment at 16 weeks, which like you said they will probably phone you, theres not alot they do at that appointment anyway, they used to listen to heartbeat but I know alot of areas stopped that before coronavirus, they will always be there for advice if you need it

Hi @sel2223 I do get it, no news is hopefully good news. I guess you just feel kind of isolated, I mean you’ve never been pregnant and your worried and you get nothing from your health care. Thank you for the urine dipstick idea. I have already been on antibiotics for two weeks for gbs so I’m defo buying these. I’m so prone to having urine problems which is another reason I wanted to be seen.

My midwife let me know that she would ring me if anything cane up in my bloods, otherwise to make an appointment with her for 16 weeks for a call if I wanted to. As it happens I have to go in and see her too have bloods drawn for quad test as baby wasn't lying correctly for NT scan, but otherwise I wouldn't be seeing her until about 32 weeks.

It does feel very much as though you're just left to get in with things, especially in theese covid times, and as a fellow ftm I've also found it a bit perplexing and scary at times. I have found though that if you actually need help (I had persistent bleeding from 5-11 weeks), there are people you can call who will help you (in my case GP and EPU)

@BeHappyAndSmile hey! No community midwife. Would have been nice just to maybe talk to someone if I had a problem but I guess I’ll be calling the gp regarding any concerns. :(

I had a face to face appointment with a midwife for 17 weeks which was 3weeks ago. She checked my urine, discussed blood results and listened to the baby. I found it very reassuring.
I guess it all depends where you are, seems like care differs dramatically from place to place. I'm in Scotland btw.

My 16 week appointment was a phonecall, so I'm surprised you haven't been offered that! I rang the triage service at the start of my 16th week just to ask when the call might be, they didn't know but said someone would be in touch, a couple of days later the midwife rang me from a private number, which was how my first appointment at about the 7th week was (the questionnaire one about family history etc). I only have been in twice- once for my bloods and weight and whatever at about 8 weeks and then the 12 week scan.

So @Jazzy1990, basically call your midwife service and just ask for a telephone appointment to discuss whatever questions you have. Write them down in advance if you'd like, that's what I did and it helped me. My area has a 24 hour phone service so I can call and speak to a midwife at any time and ask them whatever I want to, so I'm hoping you have something similar! Have you had your whooping cough vaccine? That was the main thing I learned from my 16 week phonecall.

Hey @EllieJai44 even if they were to call me on the 16th week and just discuss how the bloods were. I guess listening to the heartbeat is asking for a bit to much. My friend had her blood test result given to her on paper, which makes me feel more shit as I feel tower Hamlets, where I live just don’t care.

I'm 19 weeks. My contact has been 15 mins at booking in, then your phone call to put into on. 12 week scan, where I cried as my previous scans have all been miscarriages and felt so alone without partner allowed ( fortunately all ok), a 4 min phone call at 16 weeks as I rang to ask what was happening with 16 week appointment. Felt like she was reading questionnaire and didn't mention whooping cough vacination. A random phone call to say stop taking my hayfever medication with no discussion on alternatives. It was only when I pointed out that my asthma would spiral out of control if I did that, that she rang off and then rang back to say it was fine. Next week have 20 week scan and consultant appointment. One again partner can't come which is hard for him.
Experience first give u confidence as ftm, especially with classes cancelled!!

@CoalCraft it is a very anxious time, and so far for everything I have been going to my gp.

p.s. My phonecall was a community midwife by the way- I'm still not 1000% clear on the difference but if you don't have that service (but why though??)vsurely you can still talk to someone in the maternity wing? I find it really strange how care can vary so drastically! I'm in Sheffield and there's loads available if I need it so I'm sorry that's not the case everywhere!

Get private maternity care if you can.

@Jazzy1990 I've been pregnant 5 times in total and each time in my area I only ever heard about my blood results if something was wrong (usually iron levels), if you had the downs screening you will get those in the post, unless something is wrong and then they would call you within days.
The lack of appointments before 25 weeks isn't just due to coronavirus, they dont do many because there isn't a huge amount that the midwives can do

@Pinecone88 that must have been nice, very reassuring. If they only did something like that here in London. All they say to me is sorry is Covid times, which I understand but how come the neighbouring boroughs are doing it for their patients.

If you’re worried you can call the non emergency number on your notes for your midwife team. Explain the specific reasons why you’re worried and they’ll either reassure you or do something to help.

I’m not quite sure what you’re expecting though? It might be as it’s your first that you’re not used to the usual pee in a pot, take blood pressure, back out the door routine. if they’ve cancelled the 16week apt it must be because they’re confident they are covering the same things at other appointments?

If there’s results that are concerning they will contact you, try not to get too worried about not hearing anything.

@Glendaruel oh I totally understand how hard it must have been without your partner. My partner cried on the phone when I told him I heard the heartbeat it just made me feel so low that he couldn’t experience it. I’m thinking of booking a private scan if he can’t come to my 20 week scan. He deserves to experience it too.

@Hanrora06 have not been given numbers of any midwifes. Only if there is a problem we are told to go to the maternity unit and if your under 18 weeks we have to go A&E. So basically nothing. At times I feel so lost, would have helped if I could talk to a midwife. My 12 week scan was a 5 hour wait for a scan and bloods no questions asked.

I only had my booking in and my 16 week appointment (other than my scans). My next appointment was 25 weeks. I’ve been lucky that my booking in was before Covid and my 16 week appointment went ahead as normal.

There’s been a few threads about feeling abandoned during the first two trimesters but it’s not because of Covid. This is standard practice. Frustrating and worrying for FTMs but there really is nothing the midwife can do in those early months.

@Brandaris I’m high risk for getting diabetes as my sister had it and my dad has it and usually they do this test before 20 weeks if your high risk but I’ve not heard anything from them. I guess I’ll just have to make do with what is given.

It does vary from trust to trust but there are some NICE guidelines which you can find online which cover the minimum standards of antenatal care.

Even pre-covid, I found early pregnancy a slow, lonely time. My booking in appointment wasn't until I was almost 10 weeks then I was 13+6 by the time i had my scan. My 16 week appt, as i said before, was very short and more of a 'hello' with the community midwife so I can understand why they've scrapped that one as 'non-essential'. Most areas stopped listening to the heartbeat at 16 weeks prior to the pandemic anyway.

So, even pre-covid, it was just one appointment between the 12 and 20 week scan.

I remember thinking it was crazy as friends in other countries have a lot more appointments and scans as standard but that's just how it is here....and obviously you still have the GP EPU, A&E, midwife telephone number etc should you have any problems.

I think the reality is that you need the most care in your 3rd trimester so that's why they've focused on keeping as many of those appointments as possible while cancelling the ones they consider 'non-essential'. It's not ideal and can be particularly stressful as a FTM but, it is what it is at the moment unfortunately and we have to just make the best of it.

On the plus side, you still have plenty of time for things to change as your pregnancy progresses. My biggest concern now is in relation to birthing partners and no visitors when baby arrives.

@EllieJai44 still waiting for the down letter, they said two weeks so hoping that would come soon. Would have loved if the results for my bloods came through the post too. It would have been great if the hospital posted to you aswell.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing I jus feel that from 12 weeks to 20 weeks is a big gap, I mean not even a phone call. Glad you got you appointments before Covid.

I know some places don't do it but at 17 weeks I had an appointment (it was my 16 week appointment) and I heard my little ones heart beat! She also checked by BP and urine. This is pre covid.
I wouldn't be happy to be left all that time. I feel for you ladies pregnant at the moment xx

Having had issues just this week - kick up a stink. I got to 28 weeks and now they have suddenly told me things which meant I should have been on medication months ago. I have every person trying to wash their hands of the situation. I am currently awaiting a phone call from the head midwife for my trust to discuss the failings in care I have received.

Covid regs or not my husband will be at all future appointments in order to take notes because the notes taken by the midwife are missing many vital pieces of information.

Put it this way - before having another child I will be saving the £6k to £8k needed in order to have a private Independent midwife. If I am not in a position to do that, my baby will be an only child because I can’t and won’t have sub-standard care.

People harp on and on about our world class health service. It is not world class it is in the gutter at best.