Paternity leave for men who aren’t involved.

[Kaymcc97]

Hello
I wasn’t sure where to post this, so sorry if it’s in the wrong section.
I’ve posted before about a situation between me and my baby’s dad, but to cut the story short he is a drug user and alcoholic as well as his family. So I made the decision to cut him out the baby’s life as he and his family refused to change for the baby. - I let my midwife know every appointment of updates on mine and his situation and she ended up getting him flagged by social services as she believes he is a danger towards the baby. (Rightfully so)
Anyway, me and him work at the same workplace and my manager is giving him paternity leave once my baby is born in a few weeks. However, I do not care so much that he is getting it.. but he’s using it to go see his new girlfriend up Newcastle.
This bothers me.
He isn’t going to pay towards the baby or even wants to. Don’t think it’s fair my boss is giving him paid time off to doss about with his new girlfriend.
Sorry if I’m coming across bitter.
In my works handbook it says he would qualify for leave if he’s got a responsibility to look after the child or married to me. But I know the government have their own guidelines as I’ve read online.
Is it fair for me to ask my manager to not let him take his leave as he has no responsibility towards this baby? Or should I just grow a backbone lol I know I sound bitter it’s just very frustrating he’s getting a perk of time off for being a dad; when Infact he’s not being a dad to his son at all.

Let him get on with it. You need to just concentrate on you and the baby. Make sure he pays maintenance through the cms and if he doesn't get it through a deduction of earnings.

I wouldn't tell your manager not to let him take the leave, I'd just send an email along these lines...

"Dear XX,

It's just come to my attention that EX has submitted a request for paternity leave following the birth of our child. According to the company handbook, he's only entitled to the leave if he has a duty of care to the child or to myself during those two weeks - I feel it's important that I let you know that this isn't the case. Ex will not be attending the birth of the child or taking any responsibility for myself or the baby after delivery. He won't be in contact with either of us during the period of time he has submitted as his paternity leave. Of course, it's completely up to you whether or not you approve the request for leave, but i wanted to make sure you had the full details before making any decisions. I know this is a slightly awkward situation, and i really appreciate your support during this time.

Best,
OP"

most companies that give you the 2 weeks also only pay you £150 per week

Most fathers at my work take holiday instead

@Kaymcc97

Hello I wasn’t sure where to post this, so sorry if it’s in the wrong section. I’ve posted before about a situation between me and my baby’s dad, but to cut the story short he is a drug user and alcoholic as well as his family. So I made the decision to cut him out the baby’s life as he and his family refused to change for the baby. - I let my midwife know every appointment of updates on mine and his situation and she ended up getting him flagged by social services as she believes he is a danger towards the baby. (Rightfully so) Anyway, me and him work at the same workplace and my manager is giving him paternity leave once my baby is born in a few weeks. However, I do not care so much that he is getting it.. but he’s using it to go see his new girlfriend up Newcastle. This bothers me. He isn’t going to pay towards the baby or even wants to. Don’t think it’s fair my boss is giving him paid time off to doss about with his new girlfriend. Sorry if I’m coming across bitter. In my works handbook it says he would qualify for leave if he’s got a responsibility to look after the child or married to me. But I know the government have their own guidelines as I’ve read online. Is it fair for me to ask my manager to not let him take his leave as he has no responsibility towards this baby? Or should I just grow a backbone lol I know I sound bitter it’s just very frustrating he’s getting a perk of time off for being a dad; when Infact he’s not being a dad to his son at all.

Legally he cannot be denied the leave if the may form has been submitted, which you will have done. How he spends it is his choice. No different to those who spend the time gaming etc. As for maintenance, as soon as baby is born make a formal application with the cms. They can deduct at source.