Why do midwives ask if a baby was IVF

[cupoftea84]

I'm currently pregnant with baby 2. Both so far conceived naturally.

I've been asked both times if the conception was natural or IVF. I've also heard that IBG babies are more likely to to induced.

I might need IVF if I want a 3rd due to age so I am curious to know why they ask and if they really need to know. If I did have an IVF pregnancy in the future (via a private clinic) could I just say it was natural? Feels a bit intrusive and I don't see why they need to know.

Does anyone know?

Ha. Intrusive. My last 3 babies were ici babies. Done by myself at home after ordering sperm from a sperm bank. I lived in a very rural area... And was shocked when my drs actually asked me how it worked. I left out some of the really personal parts haha... But yeah... Those were interesting conversations.

That said... Never lie about medical history.

I’m a doctor and will never understand why patients lie to me, it’s so frustrating! The questions I ask are relevant to my decision making in how to diagnose/treat you, I’m not there getting the goss to judge you and chat about with my friends later!

I don’t even know why an IVF pregnancy would be something to hide in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

Midwife asking is not intrusive.

Random Dave down the road asking? Yes, that would be intrusive.

@Nelbert19

I’m a doctor and will never understand why patients lie to me, it’s so frustrating! The questions I ask are relevant to my decision making in how to diagnose/treat you, I’m not there getting the goss to judge you and chat about with my friends later!

I don’t even know why an IVF pregnancy would be something to hide in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree with you. But I will say I have heard of people lying about ivf when they don't want people to know the baby isn't biologically their husbands. Still think medical professionals should be told the truth... No one else needs to know as it isn't any of their damned business 🤷

@cupoftea84

Have an unmumsnetty hug 💗

I feel like your own underlying fears about time marching on and the threat of needing IVF are coming through in how you heard the question and how it’s left you feeling x

I don’t think you meant to imply that IVF is shameful or embarrassing, more than you’re worried about ever needing it. Maybe you kind of felt like she was suggesting you are old or that you look like you need it! 😅

As everyone has said fertility treatments give you an extra point when your midwife is scoring your risk for a few things (e.g: preeclampsia). So it’s a medical fact that may affect your antenatal care.

I’m 34 and I needed IVF and had a 0% chance without it as my ovaries never really worked 👌 There is no typical IVF patient and you definitely leave your privacy at the door lol!
I tell literally everyone that the twins I am carrying are a miracle of science xx (including the supermarket checkout lady this morning)

I'm really sorry if I've offended anyone. That wasn't my intention.
The person who said have baby 2 first is maybe right let's see how we cope with 2 before considering a 3rd.
I know practically nothing about IVF. I'm very sorry if the way I worded it was wrong.
I have some very nosy friends that are doctors and was just thinking about who we would tell what to. It seems the midwife and GP get full and frank but friends and family can be left to think I'm just very fertile if we even go that way.
Apologies again for upsetting anyone.

Ps there's nothing shameful about IVF at all but I feel selfish for wanting a 3rd etc. It's all a bit mixed up in my head. Maybe pregnancy hormones maybe me just thinking about things too much.

I've just had a baby by donor egg ivf, unfortunately lost both fallopian tubes and one ovary to emergency surgery. I'm 43 and have high blood pressure, my donor was early 20s. The midwife needed to know as the donor age affects your test results for the 12 week blood tests for down syndrome etc.

Also, IVF is higher risk for pre-eclampsia and there is evidence that going past 40 weeks, the placenta becomes less efficient after IVF, even more so than being over 40. Also I had to have blood thinner injections weeks 0-12 then 28-42 so had to have consultant care. Only our parents and siblings know we did ivf, I felt it was personal to us.

What an odd thread to start when you havent even had your second

@FilthyforFirth

What an odd thread to start when you havent even had your second

I've always wanted 3. I'm one of 3, as are both my mum and dad and my cousins are all in 3s. Realistically though finding a car that takes 3 car seats, the extra cost, the age I'd be by then. I've just been pondering if this is my last pregnancy or not and how I'd manage another etc. Sometimes my thoughts just go off in one and I wonder what the future holds.

Why would you lie about IVF to your family if you don't think there is any shame in it? I know you said you didn't mean to cause offence but you seem to be judging IVF if you want to lie to your family.

@GreytExpectations

Why would you lie about IVF to your family if you don't think there is any shame in it? I know you said you didn't mean to cause offence but you seem to be judging IVF if you want to lie to your family.

Because it is only mine and my husbands business. It's our sex life after all. I have some far too nosy friends that discuss everything with with all sorts of people. Some family are worse and would be nasty because they're that way about most things. We're low contact and getting lower.

@Nelbert19

I’m a doctor and will never understand why patients lie to me, it’s so frustrating! The questions I ask are relevant to my decision making in how to diagnose/treat you, I’m not there getting the goss to judge you and chat about with my friends later!

I don’t even know why an IVF pregnancy would be something to hide in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well, considering plenty of doctors will not take a patient's word for it or think their patients are too stupid to accurately keep track of what they eat and drink, I can see why some patients do. From what I've heard doctors automatically double the amount someone says they drink (must be lying, can't count units). Doesn't lead to a lot of trust.

There’s an increased risk during pregnancy and you would need to give birth by 40 weeks rather than go overdue, as there is definite increased risk to IVF babies after 40 weeks.