Talking to midwife about anxiety

[blvdbrokendreams]

I had my 31 week appointment today. I've had issues with babies movement and I ended up crying in the Midwifes office today. It's all too much. I'm worrying about her movements all the time and feel like I'm going mad. So we talked. Well she talked, I cried. And now I'm worried there gonna take baby off me. Am I being stupid?

If they took babies off every tearful, anxious mother-to-be then I suspect they would have their hands incredibly full! Please try not to worry, midwives have seen it all before and know exactly what you're going through. They are there to support you and are 110% used to tears.

No they won’t. It’s so good that you reached out for support today. Feeling anxious is so normal but obviously sometimes this can tip into something more long term which may need some input from mental health services. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s better they know how you’re feeling. Did they offer any support?

@Foreverbaffled she's referred me to a specific midwife practice who deals with mental health services to have a chat over the phone. I ideally want to stay with my midwife because she's great. And I've got some links to websites. Need to ring my GP but with the current situation it's just impossible.
I don't think it's helped by being trapped in the house 24/7 again of the virus. It's just really worried me

I imagine the specialist midwife is part of a perinatal mental health service. You’ll likely stay with your current midwife too for all the physical side of things. Sounds like a really sensible plan. It’s much better to get the support now than waiting until it gets worse. Thinking of you. It’s such a difficult time to be pregnant on top of all the normal worries.

I've been in the hospital with issues with her movements. She just doesn't move. I'll have a day of really active movements and then she stops. And I feel like I'm going a bit mad and I'm wasting the hospitals time. Anxiety sucks

It’s ok, you aren’t doing anything wrong here whatsoever and I’m sad at how upset you feel. I’m an anxiety sufferer and I know what it’s like. It’s just the anxiety talking when it comes to fear of having the baby taken from you. No-one is going to do that.
The maternity team just want to help you - you have been honest and open about your anxiety struggles and they seem completely understandable to me. It’s very hard when your baby has quiet days. We’re so programmed to be constantly thinking about how many movements you’ve had that day! I’ve an anterior placenta and it really messes with my headspace. I have been in once to antenatal triage for reduced movements late at night. Everything was ok. I nearly went in last night - the advice is to ring them if you have reduced movements, so you’re doing nothing wrong here. It’s my understanding that after a certain number of reduced movement visits that they will potentially look to deliver the baby early if they feel it is at greater risk in the womb. They do trust the mother’s word so don’t doubt yourself. If anything you’re caring too much - you can’t be faulted for that.
I would take the support that’s offered, for your anxiety and also maybe look at eg the BabyCentre relaxation audios - anxiety is horrid and distorts life, making it feel very frightening. Anything you can do to try to help your body calm down is beneficial in my experience and then often helps me think more clearly.

@PoodlesAreMySpiritAnimal thank you. Anxiety is awful. I've been in several times for reduced movements. It's even harder when she doesn't have any thing close to a pattern. She moves when she wants which isn't much. And now my mind's stuck in the loop of I shouldn't have said anything in case they think I'm a really bad mum and take her away. It's awful how brain works.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm hoping to feel better soon

Honestly please don't worry. I have movement issues a lot. I'm 35 weeks and Iv been in 4 times and 2 extra scans.
I'm extremely anxious and text my midwife a lot and she literally says your becoming a mum it's completely normal and never questions my concerns.

Iv also had phone calls with perinatal mental health team as Iv had two miscarriages and my anxiety is through the roof.
I will just warn you some questions they asked I did not like. For example do you feel you are not bonding with baby? I was like are you mad she's my absolute world that's why I'm worrying. If I didn't care why would I worry? It upset me a bit!