My feed

to access all these features

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.


I thought I'd be happier?

10 replies

SunflowerOwl · 29/06/2020 15:34

Just that really. Found out I'm pregnant last week and I've felt really anxious and panicky ever since. I honestly thought I would be on cloud 9 when this happened but I keep bursting into tears.

I keep wondering if I've made a mistake and feeling really frightened over how life is going to change, how my body is going to change. I don't think my poor DH knows what to do with me.

Is this normal? Has anyone else felt like this and come out the other side of it? Thanks xx

OP posts:
Ragtime69 · 29/06/2020 15:47

be kind to yourself! its a big thing, your hormones are all over and it's all new! I felt the same way and it was all ok in the end.

erised24 · 29/06/2020 15:55

Yes! I wanted a baby so badly and then when I found out I was pregnant I was filled with dread. Couldn't stop thinking "what have we done? I don't want to do this anymore!", couldn't even look at baby things without panicking.

I'm now 37 weeks and still feel like this sometimes but it gets better. I'm hoping it all melts away when I meet my baby,

Cantbutwill · 29/06/2020 16:17

Very normal! Felt the same, twice, both times turned out to the best decisions of my life.

CluelessBaker · 29/06/2020 16:20

I think this is very normal. Not only are your hormones going mental, but you’re suddenly facing a massive life change which is real rather than theoretical. Don’t beat yourself up about it - it doesn’t mean you’re doing pregnancy wrong!

Bouncytree · 29/06/2020 16:28

Hi @SunflowerOwl. Falling pregnant can be much more complex and contradictory, than we think it will be. It can be like that for some, but even then at the very least it becomes mundane.

This is a life changing event, it’s natural that it feels overwhelming. That’s totally ok. It means you are taking this seriously, but maybe feeling overwhelmed by the changes to your life it will bring and the responsibility.

We are often so busy focusing on getting pregnant, it is only when it is a reality that what it means for you can sink in. Also once pregnant it’s hard to undo, so it feels out of our control and not our choice anymore, I think this can feel difficult.

I have a 2.5 year old and we are TTC, I haven’t tested yet but having very string signs. It just hit me yesterday the thought - ‘do you really want this?’ And I was shocked. My life has already changed, and yet I had these feelings. I was the same when I bought my house, I spent so long trying to secure the sale, when I was told it was mind I thought...’oh god I don’t know if I want this’. But I did, but it was just such a big step.

All this combined with floods of hormones, your body may be contributing greatly to how you feel. In think my heart is high due to the hcg, and it’s making me incredibly anxious, I was driving on the motor and I thought I was going to die! I’ve been crying at the tv all week, including the real housewives of OC. I cried at a brie sandwich in France on my first pregnancy. Honestly, the hormones, they are so powerful.

What your feeling is totally normal, probably partly due to surging hormones and also facing such a big life change. It’s totally ok to have these feelings. They may change in time when you get used to the idea and the hormones.

Hope you are doing ok.

mrs87 · 29/06/2020 16:32

Pregnant with first baby, very much planned but didn't quite expect to conceive so quickly so didn't have a chance to get my head around the idea before it happened. Have felt like you on and off but in the last few days (30 weeks now) am feeling extra panicky - can I do this, my life will never be the same, it's going to be so hard, what were we thinking, how am I going to know what to do, etc etc. Hoping it's normal but feeling so freaked out! I'm hoping everyone goes through it at some stage no matter how planned the baby was!

SunflowerOwl · 29/06/2020 19:57

Thank you for all your kind comments. I'm glad it's normal. I was already starting to feel like I'm doing it wrong!

OP posts:
princesstiabeanie · 30/06/2020 00:38

This is exactly what I was like a fortnight ago. I was a wreck. Been TTC for a long time and had sort of resigned myself to thinking it wouldn't happen due to a number of problems I have. Lo and behold when we stopped "trying" I got pregnant! I cried my eyes out when the test was positive and all I felt was pure fear. I'd envisioned the moment I'd get a positive test so many times and thought it would be a beautiful moment and honestly it was nothing like I'd imagined. I was excited then for about 4/5 days afterwards I went to being anxious and panicky and I actually sobbed one night to DH wondering if we had made a mistake and thinking "oh god what have we done?". I tried to reassure myself it was just hormones and the thought of not being pregnant was a really sad one. Once I told my parents those feelings went away completely, I think I was just so overwhelmed that it had happened when we never thought it would but now I'm just so happy about it! I can't wait for the scans and to start buying things and telling everybody, I'm sick as a dog but it's worth it. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself it's an incredibly emotional time and so many things are changing Thanks

SunflowerOwl · 30/06/2020 08:14

@princesstiabeanie thank you for sharing you story, I'm glad you are feeling excited now!

It's been a week for me now and I'm struggling a lot. I've confided in my mum and a friend and felt a lot better while speaking to them but when I'm alone again (husband has gone back to work, I'm wfh) I feel so anxious and sick. I just can't shake it. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy this time and my worst fear is that this anxiety will rob me of it like it has other big things in my life.

OP posts:
Ihaveoflate · 30/06/2020 08:28

Try not to put any pressure on yourself to feel anything in particular. If you feel anxious, then that's a perfectly normal response to a major life change. It would be more worrying if you weren't at least a bit anxious. Lots of women hate pregnancy, so it doesn't have to be a 'special' time.

Pregnancy feels like it goes on forever, but as soon as the baby arrives it all just disappears into the mists of time. I hated it but barely remember being pregnant now. My advice would be to just put it to the back of your mind for the next few weeks because nothing happens before your booking in appointment.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.