Midwife appointment and mental health discussion?

[ShyOwl]

Will my midwife be able to offer any help?

I'm due to see the midwife for the first time since my 20 week scan, I'll be 28 weeks

At the time of my scan I was thought they would ask about mental health particularly right now. Everything I read regarding COVID antenatal care suggested they would ask at every face to face appointment.

I was passed from one room to another over three hours for scan, then bloods etc before I was finally seeing a midwife.

There were two in the room, understandably with masks and opposite ends of the room from me. But I just felt like I couldn't bring it up. They didn't, and stupidly at the time I didn't say anything.

I thought they would have looked at all my electronic notes, but I don't believe they had from the questions they were asking, all around complications towards the end of my previous pregnancy.

They would have seen I had pnd following my daughter which I had medication for, and started CBT in December due to struggling again if they had.

I guess I was bumbling along at that point so didn't push myself, now I'm struggling quite a lot and I'm scared of talking to them about it but know I really should.

Will they just advise me to call my GP? I have a real anxiety with Gp receptionist and as a result struggled on for months longer than I should have done first time round because I couldn't face crying when they pushed for the reason for the appointment.

I'd rather just cry to the midwife than have to go through blubbing to the receptionist, then the dr on the triage and then potentially again if they ask me to go in like last time

So sorry that's so long!

[didireallysaythat]

Is your GP doing things online now? I think a lot are. You can ask a question via email and ask for a call or a discussion by email. Might work for you??

Definitely speak up though - my experience is that they won't ask as they assume most mother's to be are fine. But please tell them as there's support out there

[FoxtrotSkarloey]

Depending on your trust, they might have a perinatal mental health team, specialist MH midwives to whom your normal mw can refer you. Definitely start with your normal mw and don't feel bad for not mentioning it, you're doing the right thing by seeking support now.

[ShyOwl]

Thank you both,
@didireallysaythat
that's true about online appointments I hadn't thought about that change I think I can use askmygp now
@FoxtrotSkarloey I will definitely discuss with them when I go, see what they suggest too

I have restarted another course of CBT online as well to try and help

I don't plan on having any more DC and would really like to enjoy those early months, not be in a constant haze again

[didireallysaythat]

@ShyOwl I do hope askmygp is in your area. It really does help overcome the receptionist!

I had terrible postnatal depression with my first and spent a lot of my second pregnancy miserable until I plucked up the courage to speak to my GP who was so lovely, even ringing me after I'd had my second baby to see how I was. There is help out there but I'm afraid you might need to get it as it might not find you by itself.

Best wishes!

[TruffleMama]

Hi @ShyOwl

Thank you for sharing. MH isn't talked about often enough but it's incredibly important.

I too suffer from anxiety and associated depression. I have taken medication previously and have taken CBT for anxiety and over-worrying. I found it quite helpful.
Lockdown and having to shield / work from home has definitely had a detrimental effect on my MH. I am over the moon about my pregnancy but I can feel depression slowly creeping in due to the isolation and boredom of shielding.

During my first appt with the midwife (which was over the phone thanks to COVID), I was directly asked if I suffer from any MH issues. I disclosed my history and my anxieties surrounding my pregnancy (I have group B strep which is causing me anxiety in regards to the birth). The midwife was very understanding and said that she would refer me to the perinatal mental health team. She couldn't guarantee that they would take me on, but it was worth a shot.

I now have my first telephone appt with a perinatal consultant psychiatrist next week.

Perhaps call your midwife and ask if they have a perinatal MH team, explain how you are feeling and your history and ask for a referral. Alternatively, there are several talking therapies available on the NHS, such as CBT and counselling. My local NHS Trust allows self referrals as well GP referrals. Something worth looking into.

Good luck. I hope you get the right support x

[Viletta]

I'd bring this with the midwife, no need to wait for your appointment just call her. Mine asks about mental health all the time, but at the scan they don't as they just to the procedure, scan, bloods, etc. Good luck! Covid is definitely a huge stressor, I wish someone would ask my DH how he feels.

[BabyB19]

Hi OP, please whatever you do, don't delay the asking for help, if that means you call the Drs and ask for a telephone app from the gp, even if it means you have to lie about the reason why, then do it, alternatively your midwife should have given you a number so call/text her to let her know you need some support with this and can either arrange for it, or be aware so they don't let you leave your next appointment without discussing it like last time. You're doing amazing by recognising it and knowing you need to seek help so don't forget that! Good luck, be brave and speak up ❤️

[ShyOwl]

Checking back in, I didn't reach out, I can't really explain why but put it off until my midwife appointment.
But then there was a complete mess up with the appointments, booked me in a non existent clinic then pushed it to a double booked time, then wanted to push the appointment again. Finally squeezed me in and in all the chaos I never brought it up and again was never asked.

So I'm kicking myself,

Since then I've been having panic attacks and I spent 3 hours crying yesterday so have contacted askmygp and waiting for the dr to get back to me

I'm really worried about being put on tablets this late in the pregnancy and it's affects of the baby I know realistically I can't really push through the next 10 weeks either

[MrsLully]

Hi OP. I just wanted to say well done to you for knowing that you have to reach out for help. Good job on taking care of yourself and your little ones. I hope you get help ASAP.
Sending virtual hugs xxx

[ShyOwl]

Thanks @MrsLully
The gp wasn't hugely helpful, but while I was feeling brave I called the midwife assessment line and they were very helpful and did a referral for me while I was on the phone with them.
Hopefully things will start to get a bit easier x