Feeling like a failure.

[tialouise9]

Hi, so recently I've been feeling a whole load of things but the big one I can't seem to shake is that I'm going to fail as a parent. I've previously had 2miscarriages and I'm on my third pregnancy. I've had lots of symptoms this time around during this pregnancy so far but I just have this horrible feeling looming over my head that I'm just going to basically fail at being a parent and I'm also already feeling the pressure and judgment off other family members who currently know I'm pregnant. Does anyone have any advice on getting past this or even feeling the same? Xx

OP I think we have all felt like that at some point.
The feeling like you're being judged just makes you feel even worse! Try to ignore the comments. It's tough but just try to shake them off.
I'm a FTM and whilst very excited, I'm totally crapping myself about my baby boy arriving and how I'm going to cope and be as a mom, but from many ladies have said to me, your instincts just kick in and you just get on with it.
You need to keep talking to people as prenatal depression is very real. A good support network around you and using your midwife for help is the best thing to do. The feeling is hard to shake but talking does really help!

Thank you, I haven't seen my midwife yet due to Covid I go to the hospital today to have routine bloods, and I'll speak to my midwife for the first time next week but we believe I'm roughly 11+5 at the moment. My partner and parents are great and so supportive. It's not my partners first baby and his mam can be pretty intense and judgmental. She constantly has something to say about his ex and the way she is with their son knowing she was a FTM too. Thank you so much for your feed back it's good to feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way. Xxx

I'm very lucky that my MIL is amazing and not judgemental at all. If she is, she keeps it to herself!!😂
My mom on the other hand..... 🤨 I think she thinks she being supportive but I just feel like I'm being judged and nagged at you do how she thinks is best!
Hope everything went ok at your appointment today and it helped to talk to your MW

Everybody feels like this sometimes. Especially once baby actually arrives! I remember DD crying for aaaaaaages once when she was tiny, and convincing myself that if I was a good mum I could have worked out why (had changed her, fed her, burped her, sang to her.... you name it!). Eventually she did a huge poo, immediately stopped crying and fell asleep. So it was nothing that I could have fixed. Didn’t stop me questioning myself several other times when I couldn’t work out what was wrong - it’s really normal to worry about these things.

Most FTM’s are nervous when pregnant - you’ve got a new job to do, but with no real training and very little supervision. But you become and expert in YOUR child very quickly.

Thank you both my appointment went well it was just to have bloods taken but the nurse was amazing she asked if I was worried about anything so far and I explained how I was feeling last night and she really reassured me and gave me the number for her ward for if I want to talk to her more. Don't get me wrong my MIL is great just when it's come down to us having our own family she's picking at every little thing. E.g we don't have a huge spare room so I've picked small affordable cot and she thinks I should have gone for this huge (don't get me wrong beautiful) but really expensive cot and she's wanting me to go all out expensive and use things like the baby cuddle pillow things which I've been told are actually really band for the baby but she just won't listen to the reasons why xx

OP I'm all about the bargains! I don't think I've bought a single thing full price yet! 😂 I've got most of my stuff in the safe, off the baby apps (they do really good discounts!) and Groupon! I refuse to pay full price as everything is so expensive!
Anyone wants to judge me on saving money i just tell them to f**k off!
You get what you want OP! If you want a bargain then you go get one!
Why people think that spending more is better I don't know! Like it makes them feel superior to you!
If your MIL says something like that again just politely say 'well if you want to pay that money for it then feel free!' 😂

@lockdownpregnancy

OP I'm all about the bargains! I don't think I've bought a single thing full price yet! 😂 I've got most of my stuff in the safe, off the baby apps (they do really good discounts!) and Groupon! I refuse to pay full price as everything is so expensive! Anyone wants to judge me on saving money i just tell them to f**k off! You get what you want OP! If you want a bargain then you go get one! Why people think that spending more is better I don't know! Like it makes them feel superior to you! If your MIL says something like that again just politely say 'well if you want to pay that money for it then feel free!' 😂

Honestly couldn't have said it better myself my partner agrees with me that we don't need to go all out. I don't want big and expensive or being flash. To me it's just people trying to make a statement and I don't want that. I'm not sure if it's because she's always had my partner and his siblings in designer clothes from being a baby even though she couldn't afford it or what but she doesn't like it when I say I'm not spending a fortune on something that they're only going to use for a few months. I'm glad we aren't the only ones not fussed on expensive 😂 we actually said to her if she wanted to buy them expensive things then that was her prerogative but I won't be. Xx

They aren't in them long enough. My nephew had a lovely pair of baby blue timberlands as a gift and he never wore them!
If you can get a high quality item for a bargain then happy days! I'm not into cheap tat but I also won't spend a fortune on stuff!
Asda George baby clothes and Matalan are brilliant! And I have just raided the Next sale. I bought a 6-9 month jacket for my baby boy, £26 down to £7! Oh yes! 😁😁😁

@lockdownpregnancy

They aren't in them long enough. My nephew had a lovely pair of baby blue timberlands as a gift and he never wore them! If you can get a high quality item for a bargain then happy days! I'm not into cheap tat but I also won't spend a fortune on stuff! Asda George baby clothes and Matalan are brilliant! And I have just raided the Next sale. I bought a 6-9 month jacket for my baby boy, £26 down to £7! Oh yes! 😁😁😁

I love Asda and matalan stuff I filled a box with it when my friends sons were first born, and I've heard good things about pep and co but haven't looked myself, my friend wend all out with all sorts for her boys (still does) she either ends up reselling their stuff with the tags still on never worn or they've worn it once and that's it. I personally think it's just a waste xx