FTM- 14 weeks pregnant, previous miscarriage. Anxious!!

[mockingbird33]

I had a miscarriage a couple of years ago and I am pregnant again, between 14 and 15 weeks. I've had my 12 week scan and all went well, which was a huge relief and I told myself that would make me stop worrying, but it hasn't.

Any little pain or twinge is making me paranoid and I keep thinking I have a UTI. I've booked a gender scan for 2 weeks time but I feel I will go insane with worry by then! Any words of wisdom or things to put my mind at rest?

I called doctors today but the midwife isn't at work until Wednesday, so have to wait till then to speak to her, but she's quite laid back (only seen her once so far and she didn't seem to want to know much, just tick boxes in my notes and send me on my way) so I feel she might just brush me off.

Thanks in advance for all those who can offer me a small glimmer of reassurance!!

First of all congratulations OP.

I know it’s easier said then done but so try and calm your nerves and distract yourself. You are in your 2nd trimester now so your chances of miscarriage are significantly reduced.

I’m 25 weeks with my first now, and I found just researching and reading up on all aspects of pregnancy and birth really reassuring, so when I do feel twinges or some weird new symptom that comes out of no where I am not immediately panicking And almost kind of expected it. I have been very calm throughout, although I haven’t experienced miscarriage so I can understand why you would feel more anxious than me. I found sites like the NHS pregnancy website (including the start4life site Which is like an extension of the nhs site) and Emma’s diary very helpful.

Just know that twinges and cramping in 2nd trimester is very common and normal, it is referred to as round ligament pain where your ligaments start to stretch and loosen to accommodate your bump. As long as they are not continuous for a long time and you are not bleeding, you shouldn’t need to worry.

My midwife is quite laid back as well, but I like that, she doesn’t panic me, just feeds me information that I need to know, and what I should look out for and when I should be concerned. You won’t really hear from her outside of appointments, And your first appointment with them is a lot of ticking off boxes so can feel a bit like she is just running through a check list (but that checklist is important). I wouldn’t imagine she would brush you off if you call her with concerns, but also don’t feel brushed off straight away if she says things sound normal. You could always try and call the midwife unit at your hospital for advice too, if you didn’t want to wait until Wednesday.

If you suspect you have a UTI I would call your GP back about this, this shouldn’t have to wait for your midwife to be in.

@xxxemzyxxx thank you for this, congratulations to you as well 😊

I haven't heard of Emmas diary, I'll have to look it up. I had read that cramping etc was normal but because I couldn't remember what a period cramp feels like I was panicking that I was feeling something different lol. I keep reminding myself that there's no bleeding and that's the main tell tale sign. That, and like you said the chances drop dramatically after 12 weeks. I think being in lockdown hasn't helped as I'm way less busy, so probably noticing every little thing more than I would if I was at work.

I'll probably get used to the midwife thing too, I can imagine she's mega busy and would address any concerns if need be.

The UTI thing is confusing me as I don't have all the symptoms and they come and go. Wouldn't harm getting a sample tested I suppose and then at least I know.

Thanks again for your advice and reassurance, it really does help and mean a lot

This was literally me! 3 MCs and now 36 weeks FTM, after every scan I was worried that that would be the last time I saw him etc but he’s fine. Please try not to worry x

@LizzyAnna99 congrats 😁 thanks for the reassurance, I'm trying to relax. Sure with every passing day the worry should fade x