Pregnant and scared!

[Jadeelise]

Hello!

It's my first time posting here but I've spent the last few days looking at threads and wanted advice on my own situation.

I've been with my boyfriend 6 months, we're both in our mid 20's, have our own house (well it's his but I live here haha) both have good jobs, savings behind us, supporting families on both sides and a wonderful dog.

I found out 2 days ago I'm a few weeks pregnant and I'm scared. I originally thought I couldn't get pregnant due to complications, turns out I was wrong.

We've talked about marriage and starting a family loads and it's definitely something we want together however we both didn't expect it this early.

My worry is the amount of time we've been together. Due to Covid-19 we've barely done anything as a couple! No holidays, hardly any fun days out etc. I'm worried what others will say when they find out about the pregnancy.

We've talked about abortion and my partner says he is really happy I'm pregnant but ultimately will support whichever decision I make as my life will change more than his in these 9 months.

I'm anxious about everything, will we have enough money/will we be good parents? Is this normal?? I assumed when you find out you're pregnant all you feel is happiness but I'm so scared and so anxious. We need to make a decision as my job would immediately put me on light duties if I told them I was pregnant due to the nature of it, I also don't want to harm the baby whilst I'm deciding!

Is it natural to feel so many emotions??? I know my family and friends would be so supportive but don't want to discuss this with them until we've made a decision.

Any help appreciated! TIA

@Jadeelise me and my partner have been TTC for 2 years and I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant in April. Complete an utter shock as we'd given up tracking since November! The pregnancy unfortunately ended in a miscarriage in May but I can assure you that my first emotion was definitely not just happiness! Even though we desperately want a child, I had the same anxieties. Especially during this weird covid time. It's completely normal, your whole world will change. Have some proper discussions with your partner about it, it's a huge decision to make but make sure you are both agreed either way. Good luck 💕

Hiya,

The fear and anxiety is completely normal. I was terrified when I found out and ours was planned!

In terms of the decision, you have to trust your instincts.

A few things to consider:

• Make sure you include your partner in the decision - it isn't 9 months, it's the rest of both your lives whether you stay together or not. It's great that that he is supportive of both decisions but make sure he has thought about it in detail and that he is genuinely on board if you decide to go ahead.

• 6 months isn't long but you sound pretty strong in your post, I've seen it both work amazingly and not work out with friends, so be prepared for both outcomes. What would your back up support plan be if the relationship fell apart?

• Is it a medical reason that made you think you couldn't get pregnant? If so, do consider if this affects your chances if you TTC in future. Not necessarily a reason in itself to keep it, but something to consider.

• Ignore what everyone else thinks about it - it's your decision and doesn't affect them. It's great that you think you family and friends would be supportive though.

Good luck, keep us posted x

@Jadeelise how are you getting on? x

Helloo!! We've made the decision to go ahead with the pregnancy, all things considered we will be bringing the baby into a home full of love and happiness regardless of how long we've been together.

I have my first midwife appointment on Wednesday! Now it's more anxiety that something's going to go wrong with the pregnancy haha!

Is it normal to feel like you're not sure if you're actually pregnant yet?? I mean the three tests say I am but I still can't get my head around it

Thank you for your advice! Xx

Congratulations!! 😁🎉

Yeah - I think I'm only just starting to get my head round the idea myself! I'm 15 weeks and I just started to feel little movements - that made it seem more real!!!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! x

@Jadeelise Hi! I'm almost 15 weeks now and still feel terrified every day! I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and never in a million years was falling pregnant part of our plan. All my friends knew I was anti baby until we were married, had a bigger house etc so I was in utter shock when I found out. But these things happen for a reason, we have a very active social life, we go on 5 holidays abroad a year and we love our wee life. I have been terrified that ill feel like we could have done more before baby but really, all these things can be done with a baby in your life! You can still get your holidays (im due in December and planning for August next year as normal) and your nights out and things, walk to a beer garden with baby, have a lunch, they will just adapt into your life, it's you and your partner that will make this happen! It's most definitely taken me a long time to realise that life doesn't happen in a set order, you have a home, a partner and supportive families and that's all a wee baby needs! People who love it. I think its totally normal to feel anxious right the way through, im now like you and worrying about the baby as I've been so healthy no sickness and just feel normal! But as my mum said, we are now going to worry for the rest of our lives. Good luck to you and im absolutely sure your baby will be happy and healthy 💕

[quote JulieHanlon12]@Jadeelise Hi! I'm almost 15 weeks now and still feel terrified every day! I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and never in a million years was falling pregnant part of our plan. All my friends knew I was anti baby until we were married, had a bigger house etc so I was in utter shock when I found out. But these things happen for a reason, we have a very active social life, we go on 5 holidays abroad a year and we love our wee life. I have been terrified that ill feel like we could have done more before baby but really, all these things can be done with a baby in your life! You can still get your holidays (im due in December and planning for August next year as normal) and your nights out and things, walk to a beer garden with baby, have a lunch, they will just adapt into your life, it's you and your partner that will make this happen! It's most definitely taken me a long time to realise that life doesn't happen in a set order, you have a home, a partner and supportive families and that's all a wee baby needs! People who love it. I think its totally normal to feel anxious right the way through, im now like you and worrying about the baby as I've been so healthy no sickness and just feel normal! But as my mum said, we are now going to worry for the rest of our lives. Good luck to you and im absolutely sure your baby will be happy and healthy 💕[/quote]
I'm so glad you've said that!! I've had a few cramps and I'm definitely more tired and moody haha. But absolutely NO sickness at all and it's panicking me that somethings wrong so I'm glad you're having a healthy pregnancy and are in the same boat. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

@Jadeelise wonderful news about deciding to have the baby, congratulations 🥰 how far along are you? Wishing you a healthy pregnancy 🤞

Thank you so much! I'm 6 weeks now, have an appointment with the midwife Wednesday so hopefully I'll feel less anxious after that haha!

Congratulations. I was with my now husband 5 months before I found out I was expecting. We weren't living together either! I also thought I couldn't conceive so was a surprise. We are now approaching our 10th anniversary and expecting baby no.3. Maybe we are a unique story but I do think there are some bonuses like mostly being used to being parents rather than a long time not and then adjusting to a huge change in dynamic. We have had some nice hols as a family and then a wonderful honeymoon alone where our parents split babysitting.
Good luck with everything. I couldn't not post when I read your OP!
Oh and I am so anxious about pregnancy no.3 even with it planned and being settled, married, financially secure etc!! So I think it is all very normal emotions in any pregnancy.

I hope you don't mind me jumping on this post!

I have this morning found out i am a couple of weeks pregnant, we have been planning this since September/October last year. We decided we were going to try and get married in Croatia this summer after 13 years of being together (i am 31 OH is 34).

I am not sure if how i feel is ok, right, wrong or just stupid. I am absolutely terrified of the birth but also how am i going to cope with a baby, am i going to be a good mother, am i going to be able to give it the best life ever.

I guess these emotions could be from the recent events.

January 17th 2021 - we got engaged
January 19th 2021 - OH tested positive for covid
January 28th 2021 - I had my BFP

I don't want to sound bad as i know there is many couple that would love to be in our situation but i can't help but worry.

OH's reaction was "oh shoot, now i can't spend any money" he was also in shock as we just thought we would be trying for quite some time.

Please tell me i am not losing my mind and this is just being overwhelmed with the situation?

Thanks ladies. x

Me and my now hubby were only together 6 months, also mid twenties when we found out I was pregnant. As I said he's now my hubby and we are expecting our 2nd. If yous can get through COVID lockdown together you's can get through anything. Its amazing how close you can get to someone in not that long of a time.

Three false positive are highly unlikely so doubt thats anything to worry about. The wait till the first scan is so anxious. I found both pregnancies unfortunately I never really settled until i had my 20 week scan when they can which is the one they check everythings looking good and any abnornalities.

I know this is an old thread but for the other recent posters....

I'd been having a "casual" relationship with someone for 3 months. I was meant to be infertile. I fell pregnant and oh my god was it a shock!

Ivd always wanted a child and struggled enormously for years over not being able to have one, I was only just starting to come to terms with it when I fell pregnant.

I agonised over what to do, and ultimately decided that this could be my only chance so I would go ahead with the pregnancy but split the casual relationship and the baby in my head (if that makes sense.) I told myself I'd be doing it on my own and began to prepare for life as a single mum.

Didn't work out that way though.... 4 years on from finding out I was pregnant we live happily together and are engaged 😊

Thank you for your reply.

I return to work today after having to isolate, OH is also allowed out and about as he is now covid free.

I think there has just been a lot that has happened over the last 4 weeks with our engagement and then covid and now a baby, it's a lot to get my head around I have also been working from home as I run an engineering company so it's been pretty hectic with events lately .

We have also recently finished converting our campervan and he says we will only get one season in it before we have to change it to suit us two our dog an a baby.

I am so surprised by his reaction as we have been together 13 years and agreed to start trying a good few months a go. 🤷‍♀️

Men 🙄 x