Early pregnancy symptoms/anxieties

[RachaelRed]

Hi all,
I am 5 + 1 weeks pregnant having only suffered a miscarriage on 14 May (we got pregnant immediately to my shock). This miscarriage in May was my second, having not had a full term pregnancy yet.
I'm ridden with anxieties about all niggling pains I am feeling, and contributing them all to the likelihood that I am having another miscarriage as I've nothing else to compare them to.
I've had the odd mild cramp over the last week, these don't stop me in my tracks, and aren't in just one place. They happen in my lower abdomen, to the left or right side and for the last two days the odd lightning crotch (although this isn't as bad as when I have it during AF). Are these normal symptoms or are the attributable to a miscarriage? I've not had any spotting or bleeding (yet).
So looking forward to some advice/reassurance/other's experience and I'm grateful for any response.
Thanks, Rachael

I’m in the same position as you.
I’m crippled with anxiety...
It’s awful x

I had all those symptoms with DD1 who is now 9 so try not to immediately think of the worst. This time round I have no symptoms and am finding that even more disconcerting!

@RachaelRed Hi, I had two early miscarriages during a year of trying to conceive, like you I got pregnant immediately after my last miscarriage - in Jan. Even though I was gutted about the miscarriage I felt mentally ready to be pregnant again but I wasn’t prepared for the anxiety and not being able enjoy early pregnancy due to thinking it would end the same way!!

Every cramp or unusual feeling had me thinking it was the end again - I even had some early spotting this time but it turned out to be nothing. At first I thought how the hell do people say they enjoy pregnancy when I’m just preparing for the worst all the time. I even had a couple of nightmares that it was the end!!

Fast forward and I’m now 24 weeks and had three healthy scans. I can feel the baby move and am finally so excited and am mainly thinking positively and buying bits.

The way you feel is completely normal and I don’t think the worries will go away completely but they will get easier at each step of your pregnancy.

What doesn’t help is that as young women were told that having sex always leads to a baby and it all seems so easy to get pregnant and stay pregnant. So when we miscarry it’s a surprise and we feel unusual when in reality it happens to a lot of women.

Just remember you have a right to enjoy this pregnancy and remember the odds are in your favour that things will go well for you x

Annon, I'm sorry you are feeling the same as me. It's is extremely crippling and I completely feel your pain both mentally and physically. I'm hoping that you are okay and that the pains we feel are normal x

@CazzaCat thank you. This is a positive outcome for you which gives me hope! I've completely resigned myself to the fact I will miscarry. I have no difficulty getting pregnant, but am worried I have difficulty carrying a pregnancy.

It's so awful to be so out of control, I don't know how anyone can really enjoy early pregnancy but perhaps I am biased because of my experiences. I just hope my pains are normal, and nothing to be concerned about z

I would suggest speaking to your doctor about how you feel. I suffered badly with my fourth pregnancy all the way through after 2 previous losses. (I never felt the same with my first. I worried but it was never to the point it interrupted my normal life. ) I got some therapy to help me through it. He is now 7 months & healthy, so it can and does work out ok :-) If you're anxious, it doesn't just suddenly disappear because you reach a successful 12 week scan, it's habitual behaviour & thinking patterns which can take time to break down. Wishing you luck. X

Thank you @wishfull888 I stupidly did a weekly indicator last night before bed and had a melt down when it (somewhat unsurprisingly) said 1-2 weeks not 2-3. I know I shouldn't do them, but have been obsessive of late. I did another this morning and it said 2-3 weeks so I gave myself a huge panic attack for no reason whatsoever. OH is going to hide all pregnancy tests in the house so I stop obsessing over doing them and calm down. X

That's really tough op. I think your partner has your best interests at heart, testing won't change anything & only provides short term reassurance. X

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I just thought I’d share a positive story to help ease your mind as I felt exactly the same as you. I had 2 miscarriages in 2017 and then got pregnant with my now DS straight after my second miscarriage. I was certain things were going to end - like you say, my experience was telling me that pregnancy did not equal a baby. I just couldn’t envisage a baby at the end of it. Like a PP said, once I got to 20 weeks I really started to feel better, and I think I did a little after 12 weeks too. Cramps are completely normal, I had them in my pregnancy with DS. I think maybe the body growing and stretching to accommodate the pregnancy. But I understand you worrying about every single little twinge or easing of symptoms. Miscarriage never leaves you mentally, it leaves such a scar and having a baby just isn’t the joyful experience it’s made out to be. I actually got in touch with a baby loss counselling charity in my area and had counselling until I was about 22 weeks. I was so thankful for that, it really helped. I don’t know if there’s something similar in your area? It might be worth speaking to your midwife about. I really wish you the best of luck and I really, really hope you get your baby this time x

All pain has stopped, no aching or niggles, but had a brown bleed/discharge this morning when I wiped. Took myself to A&E but too early for them to scan. Hoping to that this is nothing and just a blip. It hasn't continued, has tailed off, but last miscarriage started with brown blood and the next day that became red. Very scared x

Op, I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety. It does seem very common, particularly in the first trimester. I just wanted to reassure you that cramping, particularly in the first trimester is a common pregnancy symptom. Everything is stretching, including ligaments softening etc. I was once told by my consultant that pregnant women are 'allowed' lots of different aches and pains. Your body is changing and doing so much. As for the spotting, lots of women seem to experience it. I certainly did with three of my (successful) pregnancies. If it's brown it is usually old blood, left over from implantation, or some irritation to the cervix.
I can imagine the anxiety being worse after a miscarriage, but it's worth remembering that miscarriage is very common and that the vast majority of women go on to have a healthy pregnancy.