Selfish for not bonding with my pregnancy because of Cat?

[honeychild23]

My pregnancy hasn't been the easiest (morning sickness until week 20, dysgeusia, furlough, redundancy, lockdown, gestational diabetes) like I imagine a lot of women haven't been during this time!

I have been really trying to take the time to bond with bump these last few weeks (32 + 6) but my cat has been desperately poorly for 6 days. He has diarrhoea and sickness and can't keep anything down, this has already cost us £500 in vet fees. He sicks back up his antibiotics and it stresses me out every time its time to give them to him as he is either sick or they drop out of his mouth and disintegrate. OH is working really hard and getting the nursery ready so I find myself in charge of getting him better and cleaning up poo/vomit all day (with marigolds on).

I had to go to triage to have babies movements monitored yesterday as was concerned I hadn't felt him move amongst all this stress - everything was well but I felt so guilty that I'm not looking after myself. My cat is only 2 and such a big part of our family it would really ruin things and put me in a bad mental state if anything happened to him...

Suppose I'm looking for any other cat owners who have has similar stories with positive outcomes!

I don't think you're being selfish so don't beat yourself up. You're allowed to think and care about things other than babies while you're pregnant, and indeed after - I'd even say it's healthy to do so. It would be wrong not to take care of your pet. I hope he gets better soon!

I can't relate as such but if you're anything like me, my cat is my first baby and if he was very unwell it would be my sole focus and I'd be beside myself with worry. So I can imagine, if this happened during pregnancy, I would probably not be focusing on baby/bump either until things with my cat were sorted. Obviously once baby comes these priorities might shift somewhat, but I totally get it. I work in a vets (or did before furlough!), it might be that they can give you a different antibiotics, or a liquid form that would be easier to administer than tablets. Let them know how much you are struggling.

Really hope your cat is on the mend soon xxx

I’m so sorry to hear that your cat is unwell. I really hope he is on the mend soon. As previous posters have said, it’s completely understandable to be so focussed on him right now when he’s poorly. I have a cat too and he’s my first baby and I’d be devastated if anything happened to him. If anything I’m trying to enjoy this time with him now a little more before baby comes. It must be very stressful for you seeing him unwell, but hopefully he will be feeling much better soon

It's ok to care about other things. It doesn't mean that you care any less about your baby. Obviously the cat is never going to be more important than your baby, but at the moment your baby is safe in your belly and your cat is unwell and in need of some extra help.

you are ok. you are dealing with a lot and doing the best you can, and the best you can is pretty good.

there is no harm in your nurturing instincts being used to support your cat right now. your cat probably needs you a bit more than your baby does right now. there is very little "bonding" that can actually happen with a bump in your abdomen. remember that 7/8ths of the advice written about this special time is actually drivel and for most women throughout human history they just get on with their daily work to the best of their ability until contractions start.

it is certainly a time when the hormonal balance is likely to make you want to focus on nurturing, and your poorly cat is a convenient recipient of this instinct. I remember bursting into tears during my 7th month of my first pregnancy because the cat (not poorly) was curled up asleep and I saw him as so little and vulnerable and in need of protection. he was none of those things (he was an excellent hunter who one brought home a pidgeon) but my hormonal brain state was out of kilter. this is ok and nothing to feel bad about.

do what you can to look after the cat. look after yourself and follow all medical advice to keep your baby growing and thriving, and be kind to yourself. perfection is not required.

I never bonded with my bump or anything like that. I obviously wanted to know my baby was ok etc, but that was it really. I would have been far more concerned about my cat at that stage too.

Hope your cat feels better soon.

Not selfish at all, our pets are part of our family. We have a poorly cat (he was in the vet a lot late last year but they've basically said there's nothing they can do and to keep him happy) and it's very stressful.

I hope your little kitty gets better soon, is an antibiotic injection an option? We changed to that when one was sicking up his tablets.