Should I find out the gender?

[Bettie2192]

Me & my husband have always said we don’t want to find out the sex of the baby and have a surprise when he/she is born (we don’t mind either way, just think it would be a lovely moment to find out at the birth).
But I’m getting more and more keen to know! I don’t know if maybe I’d bond more with the baby whilst in the womb knowing what sex it is? Also I am torn between two wallpapers for the nursery, one I would pick if it was definitely a boy, and one I’d pick for a girl. I know it sounds silly lol but I just want it to be perfect.
Is it worth waiting for that ‘moment’ or is it better to find out? Has anyone else found out and wished they’d waited? Did it spoil the ‘mystery’ and excitement? Or vice versa?

My DH wanted to know, so we did at 11 weeks.
It didn’t change the surprise for me, just made it earlier. I’d have been ok with waiting too.
If we were doing it again (we aren’t) then I’d do the same again

I didn’t find out with my first and so glad I didn’t.
A little more tempted to this time, but I would regret it if I did, so I’m not going to! It was one of my favourite moments finding out at birth.

We didn't find out with our first. When she was born we were so amazed at having a baby it was a few minutes before we even thought to check!

This time I'll be finding out if I can because our daughter is really impatient to know (she wants a sister). Plus then I know whether to keep hold of all the old girls clothes we have or not. This pregnancy has been rough too so it's something for me to look forward to.

Either way is good 😊

I found out with my 1st, I’m not finding out this time. Bonding has been the same, I am very excited for birth to find out. So I’m hoping it helps me push! xx

I've done both and much preferred finding out at birth!
I remember the look on my husbands face as he saw his baby for the first time and told me.

It somehow didn't feel as lovely hearing it from the OBGYN, especially as I couldn't then meet my baby straight away.

I also didn't have issues bonding or feeling closer to either of my babies in either circumstance.

I didn’t find out with either of mine. I felt bonded with both just fine. I’m not hugely into the pink/blue stuff so shopping and decorating wasn’t an issue.

The memories of my husband telling me that we had a daughter and a son will never fade. I think he’ll always cherish being the first to know (other than midwife) and being the one to tell me.

I chose not to know with either ... the first time the Dad told me at birth and the second one the midwife held the baby up and said "It's a .. " and I burst out crying coz I was so excited that she was a girl! I loved the excitement of not knowing and people loved guessing

We didn't find out for my first pregnancy, it was lovely feeling not knowing throughout the pregnancy, I had visions of a lovely scenario when baby was born of my partner telling me girl or boy, but tbh I was so traumatised and exhausted when baby did arrive, the moment wasn't really what I imagined.
When the midwife plonked him on my chest, all I saw was balls, my partner then said its a boy... Yeah I can see.

Were finding out this time round as I'd love to experience both knowing and not knowing, plus I can get organised with baby clothes, I have loads of boy bits I can let go of if it's a girl.

We’re not finding out, but then whether my baby has a willy or not will not impact on my choice of wall coverings

I didn’t find out with first child and regretted it because it would have helped me bond and might have saved some of the PND

2nd time
I was sure I was finding out and it was definitely the right decision for me.

I felt more prepared, I felt a connection.
I had less stress about name choices and we could prepare older sibling for what was arriving

It’s a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks

We chose not to find out with our first and that special moment of finding out at the birth just didn't happen. I had a very long labour, baby was in distress and needed lots of monitoring. The doctor pretty much announced it was time to get "him" out after performing a scan in the labour room and when he was born he was immediately whisked away as covered in meconium, I had a big bleed and a load of people rushed into the room to assist with everything going on. There was little time to truly appreciate him until a good couple of hours afterwards. We are currently pregnant with number 2 and chose to find out this time round. It was actually very exciting bringing the envelope home from the hospital and opening it together.

Perhaps an option could be to ask them to write it down at the scan and then you can decide if you want to open it in your own time?

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all your replies, I just read them all in one go and it was lovely to hear about all your experiences!
I know the wall paper thing sounds ridiculous, I just have a bit of a passion for interior decor haha. Trying to keep a gender neutral nursery but I’ve fell in love with a bit of a girly wallpaper 😁😆
But you’re right that the baby would be in our room anyway at first, I never even thought about that lol. So no point picking one now!
You all make very good arguments but your experiences of finding out at the birth sound really beautiful so I’m leaning more towards that now 🙂