To early scan or not to early scan

[MissHoney85]

Hi all. I posted a few weeks ago about early scans - we were due to have one at 7 weeks but my OH freaked out about the safety of it after some research and we decided not to do it. We provisionally said maybe at 10 weeks when the fetus is more established. We are now at 10 weeks, and OH is still not keen. He has talked to his friends, including his friend's partner who is a midwife, who advised against it - mainly on the basis of the potential extra exposure to Coronavirus. I think also my OH is a bit head-in-the-sand - this is a much wanted pregnancy that we didn't think would happen naturally after failed IVF, and he would rather carry on in our little bubble than know if something is wrong. Whereas I would rather know asap and deal with it.

I have my NHS scan in 2.5 weeks but that seems to far away. I'm not having major symptoms and that is making me worry a bit. I'm not super stressed, but would def rather know for sure one way or the other. Ultimately OH acknowledges that it's my body and my choice, but I don't want to do it of he's going to be resentful about it and not 100% on board. Any advice on either how to win him round or make peace with not having the scan?

Congratulations

I had an early scan at 6 weeks (due to some cramps and spotting) and I have one at the weekend at 9 weeks they really put my mind at rest and I was assured there is no risk to the baby.

The first one was at the hospital and before I was even allowed in they did my temperature gave me a mask and everything was very well organised to be safe.

The one on Saturday is a private scan and they have sent me an email to only show up 5 mins before appointment and have confirmed we have to wear a mask at all
times.

I think they are good for putting your mind at rest however it just catches a snippet in time. The 12 week scan has extra checks and more accurate dating but seeing a heartbeat at any time is very reassuring

I think it was wise not to have a scan at seven weeks as at that stage it isn't always possible to detect a heartbeat even if all is well, however at ten weeks that isn't a concern (I had a scan at what I thought was seven weeks but that was due to suspected ectopic). Personally I wouldn't consider covid to be a great risk; you and all HCPs will be wearing a mask, and navy of the HCPs will be wearing shields too. As long as you wash your hands upon leaving you should be fine there. That said, the risk is never nil.

Not knowing your DH obviously I can't say what might work to win him round. Could you explain that the scan will ease your anxiety and that the benefit from that is greater than the relatively small risk of covid?

Another potential argument might be that he could see his baby just in time for (or just after depending on availability of appointments) father's Day :)

As your OH is unlikely to be allowed at your NHS scan but might be allowed at a private one, perhaps make the arguement that it's a chance to see that baby is okay together.

I had a private scan at 8 weeks and DH could be there, was still anxious at 13 weeks alone but I could keep telling myself that there was a heartbeat at 8 weeks and odds were more in my favour rather than knowing nothing.

If it’s only 2.5 weeks I’d wait. Not that long now!

Having an early scan would show what? Is it a heartbeat you are worried about? Balance that with CV risk. Maybe wait for the 12 week one, if you are happy the pg is going well

I had an early scan at EPU at around 6/7 weeks, that was more because I had some ectopic symptoms- spotting, pain on one side. All the scan could confirm was the sac was in the right place (pain turned out to be a bowel issue) but they didn’t see foetal pole or heartbeat. They did a follow up scan a week later where they did see those things which was reassuring.

I continued to have some bleeds and ended up getting a private scan about 9 weeks, again all very reassuring.

However, I realised it only ever reassured me for that day and I was straight back to worrying again the day after.

Regarding thinking your symptoms aren’t that strong - so many people say this and I thought the exact same. I didn’t really have any sickness and the sore boobs came and went a bit, so I constantly convinced myself my symptoms had ‘disappeared’. Looking back now I can see there were LOADS of symptoms, but you’re so busy overanalysing it minute by minute that you start convincing yourself of all sorts.

If you think getting a private scan will reassure you then I’d say go for it. It certainly helped me. But don’t think it will stop you worrying long term, unfortunately it’s just an anxious and worrying time all round and it doesn’t really stop!

Thanks for the advice everyone. I got our lovely midwife on the phone in the end to answer his questions and he felt very reassured by that conversation. Weirdly now I'm the one that feels more unsure about it again! 😂 I blame the hormones. Hopefully we'll come to some kind of decision soon or it will be virtually time for the NHS scan anyway!