Sad day...mmc

[Candyflosscrochet]

Hi all,
Had a reassurance scan today, should be 9weeks....Sadly no heartbeat and baby appears to have died a few days ago.
Such mixed emotions....I understand there was something very wrong for it to die, but seeing a baby shape is so sad. Hubby is in bits.
I have called the midwife (answerphone) and it's very unlikely to see the epau today.
I know there's a few management options, but I don't know what's best....I think I'd like surgical management as I have 3 kids at home already, get it over and done with, but not sure if they'll even offer that? Are there different options depending how far along you are?
I'm sorry to ask, but what are other people's experiences of management?
Virtual hugs to everyone. Xx

Sorry to read this OP. Have been there sadly a few times and it is a real shocker take some time to be there for each other. All the best x

I am so sorry, sending you lots of hugs.

I went for the surgery as wanted it dealt with ASAP and stupidly googled all the horror stories about the pills, people in pain and still requiring surgery for retained products. They will hopefully run through all options with you so you can choose what is best for you xx

So sorry for your loss. Take care xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had the surgical option and for another 2 just let nature take its course. Both were fine, feel free to ask any questions. I think it does depend on your circumstances- when I let nature take its course I was working from home and didn't have any other children.

Thankyou for your replies. Managed to get an appointment tomorrow at the epau so will discuss options then.
Strange day. Xx

So sorry for your loss. I found out about my MMC at my 12 week scan and it’s the most heartbreaking thing an expectant mother can hear. I also went for surgical management and would do it again in a heartbeat if I am ever unfortunate enough to be put in that position again. It allowed me to physically get it over with a lot quicker and the recovery really wasn’t that bad. Emotionally I promise things will get better with time but allow yourself to grieve and be kind to yourself. Sending a big virtual hug xxxxx

@candyflosscrochet I am so so sorry for your loss . I had a MMC in 2017 with my first pregnancy at nearly 12 weeks so I know how emotionally painful it is for you and your husband. I personally opted for the D&C procedure (surgically managed) as I felt this would be the best and least traumatic option as I was told with taking the pills you could experience extreme pain and there is a chance not all the tissues will pass naturally and you would need to go back for a follow up scan to check all was clear which in it self I just couldn’t face. Take care of yourself xx

Sorry for your loss. At 8 weeks they found no HB.
Miscarried at work the next day...
For me hospital wasn't the right choice.
Take care of yourself op.

I'm sorry OP, I found out mine at 9 weeks too. Eventually had to have surgical management after 2x failed medical management I would have the surgery if offered, now, personally.

So sorry OP. I have been here a number of times and it is shit, there is no other word

I've done all three... surgery, medical management and let things happen naturally. So if you have any questions at all please let me know x

Hi op really sorry to hear your news, I have had 2 of these and it's soul and destroying x

My most recent was 4 wks ago and due to coronavirus they weren't able to offering the surgical procedure so I had the tablets (I also had this 1st time and would have preferred a different method) however i was admitted to hospital this time and they made the whole experience as good as it could be xx

If you have any questions then please feel free to ask xx

So sorry for your loss.
Unfortunately this also happened to me recently. I was also 9 weeks but baby didn't develop past 6wks at the scan.
The day after the scan I started getting cramps and heavy bleeding (on my son's 1st birthday...wonderful timing!). I was bleeding on and off for about 3 days and passed clots etc. At times it was uncomfortable but not painful and so physically it was fine. Emotionally it has been harder.
Take care of yourself x

So sorry you're going through this, I went for medical and wished with all my heart id gone for surgical, to me surgical seemed too clinical at the time but FFW 10 weeks later I was still bleeding daily and every trip to the toilet was a reminder, I then haemorrhaged and ended up having second lot of medical management as I still had retained products. I was very poorly both mentally and physically because of this. If I was ever to be unlucky enough to go through this again it would be surgical no question. But just to give you some hope I am currently 31 weeks and got pg again two cycles after the second lot of medical management x stay hopefully x

Thankyou all for your responses and experiences.
Sadly everything was confirmed at the epau today. The nurses were lovely and I'm booked in for surgical management on Monday. It will be done with a local anaesthetic due to covid and restrictions in general anaesthetic, but they explained everything and it's actually less risky than a general anyway and usually offered at this stage regardless.
Emotions are all over the place, completely normal I know, and I'm sure I'll feel like this for a while yet.
But I'm pragmatic...there was a problem and this is nature's way of managing it. If I'd not had an early scan, it is likely it would have been a miscarriage soon, but I am pleased I saw it.
Thankyou again for all your kind words. It'll be a long weekend and Monday will be a blur, but then we can begin to move forward. Xx

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry to hear your news. I think it sounds like you're coping amazingly and have a really good mindset. I hope you have a speedy recovery physically and mentally and you get your rainbow baby soon lovely ❤️ Take care of yourself xx