Feel like my feelings don't matter

[Rosebel]

After finally deciding they will deliver our baby early (hopefully on Thursday) I rang my husband to tell him as I have to stay in hospital for various reasons. I said to him don't tell anyone
The reason being it's not set in stone yet and because during my last pregnancy my c section was put on hold for 2 days and I got sick of the constant calls and texts asking for updates.
Spoke to my husband tonight and he told our daughters, his mum and his sister. My daughter has told her cousin. So I felt I had to ring my parents and sister too as it's not fair for one side of the family to know and not the other.
But I'm so cross. I asked my husband why and he said he was just excited and that he'd said it wasn't definite. However we'd also agreed to keep quiet after the birth for a few days and just tell our children so we could have a bit of time with just immediate family. Now I feel like I can't trust him and he'll be straight on the phone to his mum (the woman who is making us homeless and said we were idiots to have another baby and is kicking up a fuss about the baby's surname) to tell her.
Am i just being horrible because I'm stuck in hospital on my own, heavily pregnant and worried?
Am I justified to feel really pissed off with him? Or are my hormones making me crazy?

And we won't get any peace when our baby is born because now people know when he's due😡

I'd be pissed off too

Your husband is a bastard
But you know that already

I would be letting him crack on with dealing with the aftermath. If you get visitors you can just disappear in your bedroom with the baby and let him host them.

Well perhaps we won't get many visitors with Covid still around. I know my family will visit when invited and then they (especially my parents) are really helpful.
As for other people well it'll be a shame if they don't plan/wait to be asked and they visit at baby's nap time.

To be honest I dont really think it's that bad that he's told people you're in hospital. I'd be more annoyed he hadnt discussed with me the fact he wanted to tell people and just agreed with what I said then did something different.

And surely it's more uncomfortable/weird explaining to someone your baby was born several days ago but you kept it a secret, than saying my baby is born but we want some space initially and will let you know when we're ready for visitors?

Surely you shouldn't really have visitors at the moment anyway, my friend had a baby and as hard as it is she's been advised they're now in the 'vulnerable' list as babies have no immune system.

I mean if that's not what you've been told this could be your route to a peaceful family time anyway? 🤞🏼 your husband was a bellend to go against your wishes even if he is excited. Men 🙄

I wasn't going to leave it several days just 3 or 4 so we could have a bit of quiet time. It's not the fact I'm in hospital, it's the fact he's told everyone the due date. I mean when I asked him not to say anything why didn't he explain how he felt rather than just ignore me?
And I don't expect we will get many visitors although my brother suggested a few weeks ago doing a zoom meeting so everyone could see the baby. I think it's the way to go. Not sure my husband's family will go for it because they want to hold the baby (and that certainly won't be happening)!

3 or 4 days is several days.

Why cant you just put boundaries in place? My mum is desperate to come and stay as soon as the baby is here but I have said no because I want some time on our own first. She's very unhappy about that, but that's not changing whether she can come and stay or not. I feel as though she would be a lot more hurt if I told her I'd had the baby 2 or 3 or 4 days previous and she didnt even know about it.

Perhaps you're trying to avoid a confrontation and are inadvertently creating an even bigger one. Just be honest - like your DH wasn't and you're annoyed that he wasnt, but you're doing exactly the same. Maybe avoidance is the way that you all deal with things.

MIL doesn't listen to boundaries. I know that as soon as she knows there will be endless phone calls and demands to visit. If we ignore she'll just turn up anyway.
That's why I wanted a few quiet days but it doesn't matter now because my husband has taken the decision away from me.

Huge sympathy from me. I told DH I didn't want anyone to know when I was in labour - mostly just a control thing, not for any practical reason - and he was texting his best friend (who is a GP to be fair) the whole time, with detailed updates. I was really annoyed, but it was a looong labour, he was very worked up and needed an outlet. Different situation, obviously, but I can understand why this happened. Doesn't excuse it, our DHs are selfish idiots.

Have you got an internal bolt on your front door? If so, use it. Disable the bell if you have one. I'm not kidding. Preserve your sanity at all costs!

Could you explain to your husband that he is going to cause issues by take your decisions away and it'll be big family arguments if he continues as at these times it isn't safe.

Very selfish putting your baby at risk just to get a cuddle, put it that way.

You are totally within your rights to be pissed off. I would be so upset, it's not him that has go through labour/section and his excuse merely being he is 'excited' is totally unfair. My husband actually did exactly the same thing when I fell pregnant the first time. It was super early on, like 4 or 5 weeks when we found out. I asked him not to tell anyone, he told his mum anyway, then had to tell her a few weeks later that I was having a miscarriage.

Also, it is not weird or uncomfortable to want to keep the birth of your baby to yourself and your family for the first few days if you wanted to! There will be a lifetime of people meddling, it is not their baby and they have no right to know until you want to tell them IMO

That's so annoying! I recently was in hospital for my induction. I told my mother the date as she is a midwife and knew approximately the date it might be so there was no point in keeping it to myself. She instantly told both my siblings. I then had to deal with a barrage of well meaning texts over the 3 day period of the induction and I had to try to reassure everyone. So annoying and stressful!

Your DH has been very bad. Good luck with c section.