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Getting to the end... help me prepare!

15 replies

Thaimoon · 16/06/2020 19:52

Hello ladies,

This is my first pregnancy, it's been eye opening (!) but wonderful and I'm getting towards the end now.

It's fair to say that Mother Nature has certainly done her work here (or possibly I have just willingly surrendered)- my once modest and well behaved boobs are now stripy, leaky attention seeking giants with nips that are constantly peeping out of those sexy (not) maternity bras, I have cellulite in places I never imagined I could or would, and my feet are certainly not the only body parts that are swollen (now I understand the pregnancy waddle!)Blush.

Whilst this has all taken some getting used to I want to be clear I am happy to accept it all and more in exchange for healthy happy baby Smile.

HOWEVER I would quite like to know what my body is going to do afterwards- both immediately after birth and also the things that may never be the same again. Not the things I can read from tactfully worded books or nhs websites.... I want your real woman wisdom!

Don't hold back- prepare me! Immediately regrets post

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Teacaketotty · 16/06/2020 23:34

Congratulations, okay so my experiences;

  • stomach like a deflated yet swollen balloon immediately afterwards and for a good few weeks
  • literally rock hard, Pamela Anderson boobs when my milk came in - then deflation once it left however they are pretty much as they were before nearly a year later. Oh my god it was so bloody painful - I just wasn’t expecting it to be so sore!
  • downstairs area after a natural delivery wasn’t too bad despite a tear and nowhere near as painful as I expected during recovery.
  • emotions like I’ve never ever experienced but it lifted after a week or so
  • stomach is still pretty jiggly and striped unfortunately weight loss doesn’t seem to be helping much so I’ve accepted high waist jeans are my friend!

Top tips;

  • big, oversized black undies get a cheap pack from Asda etc
  • more maternity pads than you think
  • comfy sports bras
  • dark pjs for the hospital, hides any embarrassment
  • jelly beans for labour, sugar rush will do you some good Grin

That’s all I can remember, good luck with it all! It’s Worth every second x
CoolNoMore · 16/06/2020 23:59

I don't know how helpful this is... but I was horrified at the idea of an episiotomy before I went into labour and when they said it was going to be necessary I had a mad panic (in spite of being well and truly under the warm and loving effects of an epidural). I felt nothing, of course, but the sound of them cutting my vagina with scissors will always be with me. Now, the good bit! I was fairly sure I would never have sex again, but at 3 weeks (!) we carefully managed and not that long after that, with a lot of kegelling, my husband and I both reckoned I was pretty much back to normal. Not what I was expecting at all. No pain, no long-lasting fear of sex. Have faith and kegel!

My 'tiger stripes' will never fade, but I have zero issue with that.

Thaimoon · 18/06/2020 07:54

@Teacaketotty thanks for the top tips  I will invest in some dark pj's and LOVE jelly beans so very happy to have a good excuse to eat those!

@CoolNoMore omg I bet nothing can prepare you for that sound 🤢 but thank you for your honesty!! I also had to look up kegeling- but "have faith and kegel" shall be my new motto - thanks!

Thank you both, exactly what I wanted

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CoolNoMore · 18/06/2020 08:03

@Thaimoon Definitely learn the ways of the kegel! I have zero stress incontinence either, which is very common. Unless you kegel!

Indigogirl88 · 18/06/2020 08:08

I love this post! I'm a ftm but eagerly anticipating responses Grin

Thaimoon · 18/06/2020 13:19

@Indigogirl88 congrats Smilelet's hope they keep coming!

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Clemmie83 · 18/06/2020 15:57

Following as a fellow first time mum!

toffeeghirl · 18/06/2020 16:49

3 adult children here and I've just had to google "kegel" Confused

Sardi28 · 18/06/2020 18:19

I wish I'd done this on my first..... here goes 😬

  • I did have a tear. It wasn't painful in labour, but after. It was bad, swollen, didn't feel like me. BUT!! It goes back to normal!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻
  • get massive knickers and lose fitting bottoms

  • I was terrified of an epidural and episiotomy 😱 only had epidural and it really wasn't bad at all.
  • my son got pneumonia within hours , and I'd have gone through it all again if it meant he was better. ❤️❤️❤️Home after a week though.

There's nothing else that sticks in my mind that makes me freak out now. I'm 24 wks with number 2. 🙂🙂

Congratulations and all the best!! Xxxx
mylittlesandwich · 18/06/2020 18:27

I still have a ponch almost 7 months PP but I think this was made worse by both a c-section and unreasonable levels of lockdown snacking.

Kegels are important even if you have a c-section.

It's much harder to get back into shape and look after a baby but that it perfectly normal.

My boobs didn't hurt but they were enormous and they were big enough to start with but they look pretty normal now.

Thaimoon · 18/06/2020 18:37

@mylittlesandwich "unreasonable levels of lockdown snacking" 🤣 is there such a level??! I'm not sure

These are great ladies keep em coming!

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Chichz · 18/06/2020 21:04

Brilliant thread!

Every time I speak to my mum (who has had 3 vaginal births) she says, "You are doing pelvic floor exercises, aren't you?!".

I say yes, but wonder what horrors await my litle white lies!...

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 18/06/2020 22:02

What a fab thread!

So I had an elective section last April

Immediately after:-
*read so much about people being in agonising pain from lifting their arms up and stretching when washing their hair for the first time - washed mine the morning after in hospital and felt fine. Did have a little sit down on the shower seat during my shower though as I felt it did take it out of me slightly
*soft, squishy tummy
*couldn't feel a thing when I ran my hand above/below my scar other than a very faint sensation that I knew I was touching the area from looking (nerve damage)
*not body related as such but if you end up with a section and you need to sneeze, put a pillow on your lap and bend yourself over it if that makes sense - I didn't the first time and felt like I'd ripped myself open!

From 4 months onwards:-
*my stomach and bits had a 'dent' where my scar is - I've never been slim but when I've lost weight before at my best, or when i sucked my stomach in, my stomach to my lady parts would be smooth and flat - now there is a dent and I've learnt to accept that it is highly likely this will ever change!
*area around my scar regained some feeling but not a lot - it can take up to a year though

Currently 18 weeks with number 2 and due in November with another elective section

DontStandSoClose · 18/06/2020 23:01

When I was pregnant the first time I spent quite a lot of time dwelling on “ruining my body”, to the point it kind of spoiled it a little. But I can honestly say there are no visible lasting effects and I had 2 children within 18 months of each other. I found that I snapped back both times within a couple of months, I was size 8 before and size 8 afterwards but I lost weight through breastfeeding so actually looked thinner than before I was pregnant, I ate like a king too. I don’t have a single stretch mark (well I do on my legs from being at uni and packing a stone on in a couple of months drinking... but non from being pregnant!)

I recovered very quickly immediately afterwards as in I generally felt fine but was left with a “graze” after the first which sounds like nothing but it hurt to wee for 3 weeks (I used a pint of warm water to wee, sit on the toilet really far back and pour it as you wee stops it stinging) and sex pinched for about 9 months. I did wonder if it’d ever go back to normal, it did though, around the time I got pregnant with the second.

Second baby I had zero issues, I did have a teeny tear I guess but I went for a 5 mile walk the day after I gave birth so it didn’t bother me at all. My body is exactly the same as pre children, well flaps are a bit more baggy lol but who the hell looks. TMI (lol after mentioning fanny flaps), I actually found sex much better post children, I can orgasm so so easily now, it’s like something moved or gets better blood supply. So it isn’t all doom and gloom.

I’m not boasting I’m just trying to say you won’t necessarily be left with marks etc etc, I spent far too long stressing pregnant and really wish I hadn’t.

Thaimoon · 19/06/2020 07:50

Thanks for the info and the sneezing particularly! Congrats on your pregnancy and hope all goes well for you 

@DontStandSoClose that certainly is encouraging, thanks! Sounds like you bounced back! Loving the fanny flap description Grinand it would be great to have better sex afterwards... here's hoping!

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