5 weeks pregnant...any advice?

[oldermama2021]

Hi everyone,
I have just found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant with our first baby. We have been trying for a while and this is something that we both wanted but I am now feeling anxious. I will be 40 when baby is born and hubby is older...so I think I am just worried that something will go wrong...I am a worrier by nature! Lol!

I rang the GP when the home kit was positive and I had to leave a sample in for testing and then they refer you to the maternity services at our local hospital (things have changed due to the coronavirus). The midwife at the hospital rang me yesterday and just said that my first appt will be my 12 week scan and then after that I will have my booking appt. I just think that seems ages away without seeing anyone. I had cramps early in the week but they have gone - midwife says that is normal and to keep an check if they get worse and if there is any bleeding.

I think that my head is in overdrive because I am older and I am trying not to google too much as that just makes it worse, ectopics etc etc. How have you all found the first 12 weeks? I am dreading the sickness but I just have to keep reminding myself it will all be worth it in the end.

Thank you for reading....

Hey,

I’m five weeks exactly yesterday and a worrier too! I’ll be 35 when this arrives and my partner will be 45! I had an early MC in February so worrying about everything, every cramp, and then the fact that all symptoms have gone! I’m booking a private scan for two weeks time just to bridge the gap between now and NHS scan, and to check all is OK x

Hi @BingerGiscuit thank you for your reply. We are at the same stage...is this your first baby too? Sorry to hear about your MC in February. Hope you are doing ok? I am finding it all a bit stressful....I had a low down pain on my right hand side too so that puts my mind into overdrive. Lol! I was thinking about booking a private scan as well because the midwife said that partners are not allowed to come to the appointments now. How do you go about it? Do you just ring a private hospital? x

Yep my first too! For both my and my partner. Have been TTC since April last year. It’s so stressful isn’t it! After the MC, when I found out I was pregnant again I’ve not been able to feel excited (but some thoughts run away with me and I allow myself to be momentarily excited) but I’m so scared of getting my hopes up and losing it again, it’s so hard! I’m quite calm, but questioning everything! Like you, my mind is in overdrive! My screen time has gone up so much as I’m googling everything haha!
I just googled ‘private ultrasound scan’ and it brought up a few local ones. I will probably book with Window to the Womb ☺️ I want to book one just to find out how it’s all going, but also for the reason you mentioned too, I want me and OH to see the baby for the first time together and private scans are accepting partners at the minute! X

Congratulations.
I am 5 weeks tomorrow with my second.

There are so many things to worry about during pregnancy and I drove myself crazy last time. I'm going to try and not do that this time. I have had mild cramps too and last time I remember feeling like all my clothing was very tight around my belly... It wasn't, it was just everything sorting itself out internally. Hopefully you won't get morning sickness too badly. Some people don't get it at all.

I have just booked a private early scan for when I am 9 weeks.
If you have a Google then hopefully you can find somewhere local to you although do read reviews and check reviews or comments if they have a Facebook page. Some places seems better than others.

Hi @oldermama2021, congratulation! I am in my mid 30s and 7 weeks pregnant with my first child. I think the anxiety is normal no matter your age. I am the same - any slight ache or pain I panic that something is wrong. I had cramps for over a week and pain in my right hand side but it turned out that I had a cyst on my right ovary which was causing some of the pain and is quite common.

I also felt that 12 weeks was so long - and me and my husband felt completely alone in this pregnancy. We chose to have a private scan for reassurance (which I had on Monday). It was well worth the £70 they charge because firstly, it will be the only scan my husband could come along to and secondly, it really did put my mind at ease (a little bit anyway). They could see a heartbeat, the sack and yolk and all the other normal things I don't really understand. If you are feeling really anxious, I would highly recommend - we did ours with Window to the Womb which I believe are national.

Good luck and congrats again!

Just to add I also had this book last time and found to very useful to know what was happening with my body and the baby

www.amazon.co.uk/Day-Day-Pregnancy-Book-Experts/dp/0241312817/ref=asc_df_0241312817/?hvlocphy=1007151&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310831412334&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-453597119742&hvrand=11103115955774572708

@BingerGiscuit....yes it is definitely stressful. I am exactly like you - I don't want to get too excited in case things go wrong as it is still very early days, but every now and again I think of random things, like pram/nursery etc. I find myself questioning everything and I am trying to keep calm and be more relaxed but it doesn't always work. I have always been a worrier.

Thank you - I will do a search and see where offers private scans at the minute - would definitely like hubby to see the baby too for the first time...and maybe for some sort of reassurance too.

@oldermama2021 Do keep me posted! I want to wait until 7 weeks for the scan as I’ve read sometimes scans at 6 weeks don’t pick up a heartbeat - not that there won’t be one eventually - but it might come over the next week, so I’d rather not be told that and worry! But I also am desperate for a scan as early as possible to see if it’s all going well in there! Such a minefield. X

@Username273451293445z thank you for that book recommendation, I might invest in that!

@Username273451293445z thank you so much for all of your advice. I definitely feel like I am driving myself crazy but I am going to try and not do that to myself. I think I am definitely going to book in for a private scan, just for some reassurance which would hopefully help. Thank you also for the book recommendation - I might buy that as I was searching online for a good book - I like to know what is happening and what to expect.

@BingerGiscuit - yes I will do and please you do that same. I think I will do the same and wait to after 7 weeks as if they couldn't find a heartbeat than i would be worrying even more. You are right - such a minefield!! Hope everything goes ok for you.

@NewAndConfused Congratulations to you as well! I am definitely feeling anxious and we don't want to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan so I feel as though there is nobody I can talk to or ask questions to - I am glad I can here! Lol! I definitely think that 12 weeks is a long time without seeing anyone so I will check out a private scan in the hope that it gives some reassurance. Do you have many other symptoms? Did you have to have a scan to confirm the cyst?

@oldermama2021 thanks :) I agree, this forum has been such a lifesaver... we also don't want to tell anyone yet!

I have had really bad morning sickness for nearly three weeks and an aversion to basically all food which isn't great.

I initially booked the private scan because, like you, I felt 12 weeks was too long to wait and no matter how many pregnancy tests I did and symptoms I had, I was convinced there wouldn't be anything there! And actually, the sonographer said I had a cyst so casually I nearly missed him telling me! He said it explained the pain on my right hand side (which is also where I had ovulated from) but was normal and would "sort itself out".

I know it is easier said than done (and I don't take my own advice) but try to relax because at the end of the day, we can't control what happens!

@NewAndConfused I’m the same as you! Don’t want to tell anyone until 12 weeks so I’m so grateful for this forum! I’ve told two friends over text, one who suffered 3 MCs who has been a huge help and another who has had three perfectly healthy pregnancies, so good to get their perspectives and the differences in their calmness!

I’m almost using that as a mantra - can’t control what happens. I keep thinking if there’s blood or anything then there’s nothing I can do to prevent it and bizarrely that’s making me feel a bit calmer

I'm in a similar position. I'm 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant and driving myself mad with googling and worrying. This is actually my second pregnancy - I'm 38 and have a 19 year old daughter, so it's tricky trying to remember what things were like almost 20 years ago. DP is 47, so I'm just worrying about being so much older and all that can go wrong.

I've found somewhere nearby that does a viability scan from 6 weeks. I'm planning to wait until around 7 weeks so that hopefully things are easier to see. But that's two and a half weeks away which feels like eternity!

I've told a few very close friends the news, so it's nice to have people to talk to.

Wishing everyone here the best of luck with their pregnancies!

Congratulations!
I am in a similar situation, pregnant 5weeks yesterday but with our 2nd baby. I will be 37y when the baby is born.
I would recommend you to get a book with week by week info on the pregnancy, to stop you for Googling. The info you find online can be very stressful. Enjoy each week and if it makes you more confident and comfortable book a private scan :)

@NewAndConfused I actually am dreading the morning sickness....I know not everyone gets it but I remember my sister did with both her pregnancies and it lasted way longer than 12 weeks. How do you cope with it? The midwife said on the phone that symptoms usually start around week 6.... I think I am definitely going to book an early scan...to put my mind at rest.

@DappledOliveGroves congratulations! I will be 40 when baby is here and this is my first. I keep thinking about all that can go wrong but going to have to try and put it out of my mind. I think I will book an early scan too as 12 weeks feels like forever... Hope all goes well for you.

@oldermama2021 I was shocked to get morning sickness before I was even five weeks! And to be honest, some days are better than others and I try keep the mantra of "it will be worth it". I get into a cycle of feeling really nauseous throughout the day because I am hungry but feel too sick to eat anything. Fingers crossed it won't be as bad for you though!

@NewAndConfused I hope that it settles for you soon....its a terrible feeling....as they say that if you can eat a little it will help, but when you don't feel like eating that is hard. I hope it won't....but I don't think I will be that lucky....

I felt anxious until my daughter was out - worried something would happen - and now feel anxious about how she will do in exams next year at 11. I'm sure I'll be anxious about her when I'm a very old lady.

I have had 3 miscarriages. There wasn't anything I could have done differently. I was super relaxed. These came after my daughter. Yet I was anxious a lot of the time during pregnancy with DD because of breakdown of relationship with her father. I even got absolutely muntered (projectile vomiting) at a party on moscow mules at c6 weeks pregnant (age 35) as I didn't realise I was pregnant.

I enjoyed reading a 'baby's first year' encyclopaedia type book as part of my prep, reading around my birth plan etc etc (then did literally none of it). The stuff in your field of vision needs to help relax you / take your mind off things - be it going for walks, reading, box sets - or focus on the positives of what's coming up.

Best wishes

Have you shared the news with anyone, or kept it to yourself? Personally I like sharing the news early on. Then you can share and let go of your anxiety too with some chosen close friends or family who can be supportive given what you're feeling

Hi! Thought I’d comment as I’m 5 weeks too, Ive just booked for an 8 week scan with window to the womb as well. It’s our first baby so I’m so relieved that my partner can come into the scan too. I even emailed them to check and they said 1 person is allowed with you no problem.
Im a huge worrier too so we’re in the same boat! My due date is 9th Feb according to nhs website, when’s yours? :)
Oh and I bought myself a little weekly pregnancy diary from amazon that starts from 4 weeks, writing something in it is a nice thing to look forward to, could be a distraction for you? :)

@curious79 I actually think you’ve got a point there! Only my manager knows currently (my job can involve a lot of manual work so thought I should tell her just in case) and I cried when I told her lol! Think it was just the relief and real-ness of telling someone let out a lot of anxiety.

@curious79 I am sure you are right...we will always worry no matter what stage/age kids are. I think it's because it's our first and I'm older...all these things come into my head. I haven't told anyone...we were going to wait to after the 12 week scan but I think it might be helpful to tell someone...then at least i would have someone to talk to.

@Piccalily19 I think I will definitely book an early scan as I would really like my husband to come to the scan with me. Great idea about the diary as it would be nice to look back on. According to the calculator I am 9th Feb too!! Lol!

I’m 43 and almost 6 weeks with first. I’m terrified I’ll lose the baby. Have had three internal scans so far as I have a blocked Fallopian tube and was having pain. Due to high pregnancy hormones and two sacs spotted nurse thought I was having twins but last scan shows only one developing. Woke up this morning not feeling pregnant. No more cramping pain and no nausea. Just trying to take each day as it comes but it’s hard not to worry x

I'm 32, my husband is 47, we're pregnant with our first. I'm currently 10 weeks and haven't seen a soul - medically. Doctor didn't even want to confirm my pregnancy, they asked me to self refer to the maternity unit which I did. And my scan isn't until 13 weeks!! I can't help wondering if something has gone wrong already and what if it's not true and it's all in my head!? Such a weird thing to think I know but when you want it so badly, it's hard to believe this miracle came true. Husband had a vasectomy reversal 6 years ago and it hadn't worked until now!! I'm sure everything is ok for you though, keep your chin up and enjoy it :) like I keep telling myself !

@FrankieChips I went completely symptomless during week 6 (having had symptoms from week 4), they returned at 7. I also went through week 9 symptomless. Which returned at 10! I think occasionally baby just gives me a break ;)

@RaN88 Thank you! That does make me feel much better x