Was it planned?

[Catslife123]

Just wondering how many people have had this question and how you react to it. Myself and DH are 32 but I suppose we look quite young and we’re not married. However, we’ve been together for 13 years, we live in a mortgaged house, we have one child already and both have professional jobs. I mention these things because we are seemingly living a ‘grown up’ life.

When I fell pregnant with DC1 (planned!) we had quite a lot of ‘were you planning on that?’ questions. I was always taken aback but answered ....yes

Now we are expecting DC2 and we are STILL getting those questions. My BIL even asked DH today. They don’t have a very close relationship and he just messaged after their phone call ‘that took me by surprise. Congratulations. Was it planned?’

Does this mean anything? Do we need to get a better answer to this? Stop finding it rude? It just seems such an incredibly odd and invasive thing to ask someone.

I think it's just people making conversation without thinking it through. I wouldn't really take it to heart. I think to some people who have tried for a while to get pregnant, they can ask others out of curiosity whether it was a surprise or the pregnancy was tried for. But I agree it's not something that should be asked.

I remember being told my pregnancy with DC2 was a big surprise, most probably because of the small age gap, but was completely planned. All my pregnancies were planned and I still got asked the question sometimes - long term relationship, married, owned properties and good jobs. Some people just like to ask I think. Soon they will start telling you that your bump is big or small. It’s just something to say.

The comments on the bump being big or small too... 😬

Being a FTM I was paranoid for weeks because everyone kept telling me my bump was tiny and being shocked I was as far along as I was. I knew I had a condition that could cause restricted blood flow to baby's heart so those comments really threw me for a loop. Thankfully baby was 100% fine and average size.

My DD is 8 months old and I’m pregnant with my second. We know we are going to have these comments all the time, and yes this is planned I’m 41 and didn’t want to want too long. In fact my midwife has said I wish others would be like you, because they have wait the correct time ( whatever that is ) and had real problems, they think my body is still in baby mode which actually makes it easier on me.

I think a lot of people spend so much of their lives preventing getting pregnant that when someone does get pregnant their first thought is if it was an accident. That is where their mind set is. And curiosity too but like a PP said they don’t realise it’s rude . I remember when I was in my 20’s and my sister accidentally got pregnant , I was so curious HOW because I didn't want that happening to me .