Am I over reacting

[clo1992]

Am I over reacting. I think my hormones are a bit wild at the moment as I literally could just sob!

I'm 33 weeks pregnant. First baby after two miscarriages last year and I'm a terribly anxious person as it is.

I live in an annex next to my family home and have been seeing my family as normal through the whole corona situation as they have isolated the same as myself & we live on the same property so no risks involved.

They are now planning on going more back to normal since the guidelines have changed for them obviously social distancing. But I do not feel comfortable with this.
I have said I shall not be mixing with them if this happens.
they don't seem to think what there doing as long as it's at a social distance is any risk to me. I'm super upset about it as I'm obviously going to be extremely lonely from now until my baby's here. I don't get a huge amount of support from my partner. I just feel my support system are all leaving me :-(

My baby comes first and I will do what it takes to protect her.

I think if they are maintaining social distances, You will be fine. I think it will do you more harm to cut off your support system.
I know it’s an incredibly difficult time to be pregnant, but it’s also tough for those not pregnant. People do want to go back to the life they know, and they are following the advice of the government.
I’d be upset if they were having house parties etc. But it sounds like they are being considerate.
Take care and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy xx

I know it’s a stressful time OP but I think you’re overreacting a bit. Pregnant women don’t need to shield - many are still going to work / shopping etc while maintaining social distancing and it’s fine. As long as they are being careful about distancing, the increased risk to you is virtually non-existent. I don’t think you need to cut yourself off from them, it will only make you lonely and sad.

This is a worrying time, but try not to let it take over

I do think you may be over reacting slightly op, there is nothing to say pregnant people should be shielding or not be participating in the relaxed lockdown rules. I'm 33 weeks as well and I am seeing people 2 metres apart, have been going to the shops all the way through. It really helps the world to not seem such a scary place to get out a little bit (for me anyway).

I think as pp have said you'll do more damage by isolating yourself from your support system. Obviously you have to do what you are comfortable with and everybody has a different take on what is safe at the moment. But don't make yourself miserable for the rest of your pregnancy xx

@zscaler I was speaking to a physio the other day who told me current guidelines say pregnant women are meant to shield from 28 weeks. Total shock to me as I've been saying the same as you for months!

@BeHappyAndSmile

The physio was wrong, there’s no requirement for pregnant women of any gestation to shield - unless they have significant heart disease.

The advice/guidance is be particularly careful about social distancing and work from home if possible.

@AliasGrape oh good! I did think it was odd that the midwife hadn't mentioned it but then with appointments being changed around I just assumed it was forgotten 🤷‍♀️. Very glad to hear that's not the case though!

@BeHappyAndSmile

You should shield from 28 weeks, it says so on the RCOG guidelines.

The only pregnant women who need to shield are those with a few very specific conditions.

If you are pregnant, you need to be stringent about social distancing after 28 weeks - but you do NOT need to shield.

That doesn't really make any impact on what you do but I wish people would stop saying we should be shielding! RCOG does NOT say you should be shielding.

@Milnes94 it says on RCOG that women over 28 weeks should be particularly attentive to social distancing, no where does it say we should shield. Pregnant women are only 'vulnerable' as a precaution. It says pregnant women who are obese or with pre existing health conditions are more at risk but that's the same for everybody else in the world who isn't pregnant.

From RCOG:

If you are in your third trimester (more than 28 weeks’ pregnant) you should be particularly attentive to social distancing and minimise any contact with others.

On 24 March, additional shielding measures were announced for people defined on medical grounds to be at very high risk of severe illness from coronavirus, including pregnant women with significant heart disease (congenital or acquired).

@Milnes94

It really doesn’t!

I’m quoting directly from there below:

However, there are additional concerns for pregnant women in the third trimester. This is based on the challenges in caring for women who are heavily pregnant, and the risk of the baby needing to be born early for the woman’s wellbeing.

A recent report from a UK study showed that so far all pregnant women who became seriously unwell with coronavirus were in the third trimester. This emphasises the importance of more stringently practicing social distancing from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

So it talks about stringent social distancing but not shielding.

I'd suggest you would be fine. I'm pregnant also so know it is shit time to be at the moment. Just maintain hygiene/hand washing. My DP has worked the whole way through,m and risked bringing it back, I've been to the shops I think just be sensible

And note that it says the pregnant women who DID become more seriously ill with Coronavirus were in the 3rd trimester - not that if you got it in the 3rd trimester you would automatically become seriously ill.

It’s only small numbers of pregnant women who have become seriously ill. The proportion is higher for BAME women though, as it is in the general population.

Im just going by what my work have said to me, i work in a hospital and theyve said no direct patient contact and limit contact with other people as much as possible. To me thats practically shielding. Each person should do whatever they feel necessary

Should have also added im off work and have been since March under medical exclusion because of covid

But @Milnes94, you said it was on the RCOG guidance. Which it isn't.

I am also off work as vulnerable but that is not the same as shielding.

Sorry I should have said, I’m not unsympathetic to the worry. I’m 33 weeks pregnant. I’ve spent some of lockdown feeling similarly, trying to shut absolutely everything out and freaking out when DH so much as went to the shop, but I’m really trying to look at the figures and actual evidence and - for the sake of my mental health - stop allowing myself to be so frightened. DH is having to return to work some days, he’s also had to provide care for his family member and deal with district nurses etc, and now sadly that person has passed away and he’s had other people to deal with/ arranging a funeral/ supporting his parents etc. We have the funeral to go to, I have appointments to attend, the dog needed medication from the vet etc etc. I’ve started to see family members and a friend outdoors at more than 2 metres, have been to the shop as needed, took my car for its MOT and new tyres because no point hiding from the virus if I’m not going to make sure the car is safe. All little things and all done carefully and following social distancing guidelines but it’s made me feel so much better and calmer to be honest.

Im just going by what my work have said to me, i work in a hospital and theyve said no direct patient contact and limit contact with other people as much as possible. To me thats practically shielding. Each person should do whatever they feel necessary

That's not shielding. Shielding is not leaving the house for any reason except exercise.

I think you're overreacting, OP. In most countries, pregnant women aren't even on the vulnerable list and life continues for them as normal. I'm only in the second trimester, but am going to a funeral next week and have been seeing family that go out to work.

YABVU but i understand why. I totally get why you feel like you so, I had my DS (PFB) the week before lockdown officially kicked in.

Felt like the world was falling down around me and then I was stuck in lockdown with a brand new newborn and no help from my parents/family (DF has cancer so couldn’t avoid regular hospital visits and DM had to care for him and my elderly gran).

I think you need to understand that YABU to expect fit and healthy people to remain in lockdown for another 7-9 weeks (if you go overdue) just to see you. Also, I can assure you you will be more nervous and anxious for your baby once they’re out than you are currently for yourself.
So you’re asking your family to remain in lockdown for not just the rest of your pregnancy, but also until your child is old enough you feel a bit more confident them being exposed.

DS is 3 months old now and today was the first time I’ve taken him to the shops.

Um you are pregnant, do what you want, you are about to give birth so you call the shots.

Um you are pregnant, do what you want, you are about to give birth so you call the shots.

No, she really doesn't. She can't force her family to continue to severely restrict their lives because she's irrationally worried about the chances of catching coronavirus. By all means, she can lock herself away, but she shouldn't be blaming her family for that.