AIBU - my team leader told people I was pregnant

[emmalily9]

So I had my dating scan last week but for various reasons I've been very quiet about my pregnancy. I work in a school and they wanted us to come back this week to do some work required by law whilst the kids weren't there. I told my manager and he asked me to tell my team leader as they don't know yet whether I'll be able to go in as waiting for final decision from the head. I've found out today that the team leader told the rest of the team yesterday that I'm pregnant but we've not even told all of our families yet so I'm quite upset but don't know if I'm being hormonal about it 😂 any thoughts would be appreciated

Its medical information. It doesnt matter that its fluffy pregnancy news; its medical information which the should not have shared and you should raise a complaint. You should be able to trust your superiors to keep your personal information personal.

A load of people will come along and sa you're being sensitive and it doesnt matter, but women shouldn't just put up with their medical information being shared.

You are 100% right to be annoyed . This is a breech of your personal data. Your team leader has no right to share you information with your team without your consent.

Eeek I wouldn't be happy with that

Definitely not ok unless you expressly said to the team leader that you don't mind who they tell. Its your news to tell as and when you feel ready.
I am in almost exactly same situation as you and my line manager hasn't told anyone (I made it clear I was only telling him)
I've had my dating scan, so I've told now also told 2 close colleagues but my manager won't tell anyone unless he gets the go ahead from me.
I would have a chat and explain you will tell people as and when you feel ready so they need to refrain from telling anyone else. Whether you say how you feel about them having already told depends on your work situation but in my case, I would as I'd be very annoyed - I have also kept things quiet for a few reasons and would hate for the choice to have been taken away from me.

Ohh no not ok at all!! I’d be fuming!
I’m currently furloughed have been for past 7 weeks ( I’m 12weeks) told work straight away due to risk assessments and stuff and they told me due to not being able to social distance in my work I cannot work so I am off I said to my manager please don’t say anything to staff she told me I’m not allowed I can get in trouble for doing that! My colleagues probably think Iv just vanished hahah!
So you are not being unreasonable your team leader is very wrong for telling everyone!

I'd be going back to my manager and HR officer to make a complaint.

I would be fuming!

I know my manager is incapable of keeping things 100% confidential - he always tells at least one other person if not everyone over time. Not from personal experience (I'm a very private person anyway) but from colleagues'.

I have no plans on announcing my pregnancy until either someone notices or I have to, to get my maternity pay. I'm overweight, not gained anything so far and dress to hide my stomach normally anyway, so hopefully I can hide it for a while yet (12 weeks). Barely being in due to COVID will probably help too!

Thank you everyone. I'm glad it's not just me, I thought I'd just seen red mist and that had clouded my judgement! I'll need to see where I can get to with my manager today

@emmalily9 YANBU!
this was me a month ago!
During my boss’ weekly phone call gossip with my furloughed colleagues she told 4 of them... queue the congratulations text messages which came out of no where... I had literally just found out myself and I was only 4 weeks!
She told another one of my colleagues last week and got another random congrats texts...
I mean, I hadn’t explicitly told her not to tell anyone but tbh I didn’t think I would have to!

@SkylinesTurnstiles I can't believe that's happened to you! I'm so sorry. To be fair my team leader doesn't know how far along I am. I never told him so he doesn't know I'm past 12 weeks

This is medical information and so shouldn't Have been shared, doesn't matter what the specific information is. I would complain because what if later on in pregnancy you have other issues which affect your work so will he then share them as well?!

When I was pregnant with my son and told people at work (friends rather than just boss) I thought the news would naturally spread, but everyone kept it to themselves in case they weren't meant to say anything. Meant that one guy (who sat right opposite me) didn't realise I was pregnant until I was about 7 months and the size of a beach ball!! Bless him

I'd also complain or raise it with HR or your office manager however it works in your school.

My Head shared my pregnancy news with the entire staff in morning briefing without me there, then the children in my class and the parents. Head said they had no choice but felt they had to tell everyone otherwise it would raise questions why I wasn't in school, because BoJo added pregnant women to the vulnerable list the day after my 12w scan and Head wouldn't have me in school after that. I was pretty much told they'd be telling everyone to explain my absence, and was only asked if tmI agreed/accepted that as an after thought. Telling people, colleagues kids etc was a milestone I was looking forward to as a FTM, too.

My supervisor explicitly asked each time he felt he needed to tell someone (H &S and his boss primarily) then after a few months he asked if it was common knowledge yet as he had been careful not to bring it up in front of others.

My partner on the other hand told the director of his building (to explain why he wasn't able to make a meeting) the whole building knew the next day! I was 16 weeks by this point so we weren't keeping it a secret and it wasn't disclosed in a confidential setting so we found it funny rather than being offended. Had I been earlier in the pregnancy and it had been disclosed in a more private setting I would have been furious.

As others have said it's a breech of medical/sensitive information.
Also There's no reason why they have to say you're pregnant you staff kids etc. As the reason you're off they can just state if they have to that you fall under a vulnerable category without saying which one, but even then they don't have to! X

I told my Head quite early because I had to book the time for medical appointments and it was easier to explain it to her. She told the DH and Business Manager for risk assessment reasons but none of them told anyone else. Before sharing it in the newsletter, my Head checked I was happy with my news to be shared.

You are completely right to be hacked off!