Scared of tearing

[anon1389]

I'm 34 weeks so baby is due very soon. I'm not scared about labour except for tearing! Can you feel the tearing? Is there anything I can do to prevent it? I do have naturally stretchy skin as I have Ehlers Danlos.

I had a small tear which I didn’t feel at all, wouldn’t have known hadn’t the midwife told me I needed stitches.

Didn’t feel it afterwards either and didn’t impact my recovery at all. Obviously everyone is different but I wouldn’t stress too much about it.

Good luck x

I had a 7cm tear. If I'm honest, what I felt when I was tearing was just the feeling of stretching more as the baby came out. When you're in the throes of pushing, you just don't even consider it.

DC1: 3rd degree tear, didn't feel it happen, had stitches in theatre healed fine.
DC2: no tear
DC3: 2nd degree tear, didn't feel it happen, had stitches in delivery suite, healed fine.

I didn't know how common tearing was before I had my first. Try not to worry about it too much, some people tear but plenty don't.

Have you looked into getting a aniball or perino? They can train you to stretch and to use your pelvic floors. You can only use them from 37 weeks onwards but it's a daily thing. Look it up I am also scared of tearing and I'll be doing this when I'm 37 weeks. Reviews seem great.

Have a look into perineum massage.
Take care & good luck xx

You wont feel it happen if you do tear as theres so much going on mentally and physically at that stage, and afterwards you might feel bruised and sore but you would any way if you didnt tear

You can't feel it tearing as it just goes with the stretching as baby comes out.

I had a 3rd degree with my first, stitched up in theatre, quite sore to sit down on for a few weeks but recovered fine.

2nd had a 2and degree and stitched up in labour room. Perfect recovery.

30 weeks with 3rd now and expecting it again lol

I had tears with both my daughters, didn't feel either of them tbh!

2nd degree tear and a graze. Didn't feel it. Got stiched yo after and needle for pain relief was a bit uncomfortable but I was distracted by the baby.
I was literally up and walking about as normal 30 mins later had a shower and what not. It did begin to hurt the next day but that's because I over did it. Anyway two paracetamol and I was fine.

I didn't do perimnum massage once I realised it involved stretching everything. Doesn't sound like much of a massage to me!!

Promise it will be okay!! Good luck with labour and birth

I was worried about this and you honestly don't need to be- the contraction that happens when the baby comes out is so strong and painful that you don't even feel the tear.
Someone said to me before birth that it's not the tearing you have to worry about it's the contractions- which for some reason was really comforting!!!

I wouldn't worry, I had a 3rd degree tear and like other posters have said you don't even realise while your in the throws of pushing!

Hi,

Some practical advice; when it comes to the pushing stage (if you don’t have an epidural, you’ll know when you’re there, as your body suddenly changes gear, and wants to push) be patient and use breathing to keep things steady. Rushing to push too early is known to increase the chance of tearing.

Hypnobirthing breathing techniques are great for this; it’s helpful to educate your birth partner too so that they can encourage you when it comes to it

It takes quite a while for the baby’s head to mould as it gently progresses down the last stage of the birth canal, and trying to keep this stage calm and steady may help prevent/lessen tearing.

This article really helped me gain a better understanding before my first child was born ( I had a tiny tear and 2 stitches; like everyone else, I didn’t feel it at the time)

wisewomanwayofbirth.com/pushing-for-primips/

2nd degree tear despite doing the perenium massage religiously from only 13 weeks pregnant and giving birth in the water not on my back - all things meant to prevent tearing! I think it was just meant to be!!

I honestly didn't have a clue there was a tear at all, I had to be told. Had stitches which was fine and everything is great now. I've got a toddler running around and everything down there fully back to normal - I couldn't even tell u where I'd torn because it's not visible.

You'll be fine