Bridesmaid with a newborn / heavily pregnant - HELP PLEASE!

[Sunshinesoul]

Hi All 🤗

Sorry I’m not sure if this is the right audience or place to post my question but really wanted some unbiased opinions.

My friend was due to get married this month but due to covid has moved the wedding to March 2021. My boyfriend and I had always planned to TTC after the wedding this year (I am a bridesmaid and we also had a few holidays booked we wanted to enjoy) but I’m now worrying about what the “right” thing to do is. If we’re lucky enough for it to happen quickly either this month or next then it’s likely I’ll be due a few weeks before her wedding or very heavily pregnant, she has already bought the dresses and there is NO chance of it fitting me if I’ve just had a baby or very pregnant.

I’m pretty open and her and the fellow bridesmaids all know I want to TTC and all reassure me to continue with life and not to put my life on pause for someone else’s special day but I can’t help but worry that people may think “why couldn’t she have just waited a few months”.

We want a family, we’re both early 30’s and of course no guarantees it’ll happen quickly so I could be worrying for no reason whatsoever.

I guess what I’m asking is

• Has anyone been bridesmaid with a newborn or heavily pregnant? Am I crazy to think I’ll be ok!?
• Am I being a selfish tw*t!?

Thank you in advance!

Oh, and if it turns out it's more likely that you have a newborn, make sure you have a room near enough the action that you can turn up for the essential bits and lie down for the rest of it. Hotel weddings are great for this.

You can't put your whole life on hold just for one day in someone else's.

100% go for it! You never know what your conception journey will be like! It may happen on the first try or it may take years.

From a wedding POV, on our wedding, one groomsman (woman) was pretty heavily pregnant, another (male) had just become a dad and the baby was around 2-3 months old.
Didn't affect the wedding one bit, we all had an amazing time and they both looked amazing!
Might need a bit of planning just around baby shifts with your partner depending on when you need to walk down the aisle/give a speech, but we found it's pretty straight forward and no one was stressed or unhappy.

Don’t put it off. Just think about all those bridesmaids out there who may have put so much of their life on hold because of their friends big day, which didn’t happen because of covid and is delayed a year, 6 months, whatever. Don’t hold your life up for this. Anything could happen. You do what’s best for you and your partner.

I was a bridesmaid at 34 weeks. Luckily the bride had chosen floaty skirts with elasticated waists so I could sit it on top of the bump.

It was quite tiring and I spent half the time with my feet up on a chair because of my gigantic ankles - turns out I had severe pre-eclampsia and didn't know Wedding was on the Saturday, I ended up in hospital very late on Monday and DD made her entrance via EMCS in the small hours of Wednesday!

I'm still glad I went, and had I not had pre-eclampsia brewing I'm sure it would have been a more enjoyable experience. I'd definitely recommend having your accommodation at the venue if possible - this meant I could duck out for a lie down after the meal and come back for the first dance which I sobbed all the way through, damn pregnancy hormones. Didn't make it much past that and was in bed by 10

All 3 of my bridesmaids ended up being 6 months + at my wedding 🤣🤣 the only one who chose not to being an actual bridesmaid was my MoH as she was 38 weeks and even had a show on the day ! She didn't feel comfortable being a bridesmaid so She stayed with me the night before and did a reading instead and was still very much part of the wedding party.

Here's a thought.

If you were already pregnant and due around the time she wanted her wedding, would she put it on hold for you and arrange it a few months later or would she go ahead with it anyway??
Sometimes we make sacrifices others wouldn't make for us. Don't put your life on hold. You deserve to be happy and enjoy a lovely little baby just as much as she deserves a lovely wedding and you being pregnant or just given birth will not change her wedding day. Xx

I’m unsure why you would let the possibility of other people’s thought stop you from doing what you want.

There’s no guarantee you will even fall pregnant straight away or even in a years time.

Just do what’s best for you

Don't put if ttc if that's the only thing stopping you, you don't know how long it will take to get pregnant and you don't want to regret it! I went to a wedding when I was a few days overdue, everyone told me I wouldn't manage it and I'd be miserable, but actually it was fine, and I was really pleased I made it out! A year or so down the line, it's a really lovely memory. As for what other people might think, to be honest, some of my family were a bit cheeky about it, but I'd rather have had my baby sooner than kept waiting just for the sake of one day!
But I definitely second bringing flat shoes

Don't put off*

Go for it. Who know, we might be back to square one with the virus by then and the wed do has to move again. We can't rely on anything at the min so go with your gut

We asked our bridesmaids to be our bridesmaids about a year before the wedding, my SIL was one of them. A couple of months later she told us she was pregnant and though I was happy for her the first thing I did was count nine months and think crap! 😂 she was due 4 weeks before the wedding but was overdue with my niece she already had so I didn't have a clue what to do! I had a style of dress in mind anyway and the girls all came for their fittings when she was about 4 months pregnant. The dresses were very floaty from under bust and we just bought her a size 14, she was normally a size 10.
Baby ended up being a week late so she was 3 weeks old at my wedding, SIL looked lovely in her dress and my baby niece had a little matching one ☺️ her DH and my in laws were great at helping look after her throughout the day and she slept in her pram throughout most of the loud evening! It honestly wasn't a problem however the bride will have to think a few things through eg will you be staying with her the night before the wedding if you have a newborn? Nothing unmanageable! Do what's right for you, you can't plan your life around someone else's with things like this 😊

Just go for it, seriously. In all likelihood it won’t happen right away.

I was a bridesmaid when my son was 10 weeks old. It was actually a horrible experience because the dress wasn’t bf friendly, and the bride expected me to join in with all of her preparations on the morning etc without the baby, and also didn’t want DH to see anything, so there was like 6 hours of DH lurking outside her hotel room with DS in a sling and I had to keep going out to feed and comfort him (he just wanted me all the time and was EBF). I got changed out of the bridesmaid dress after the ceremony into something (a lovely dress) I was comfortable feeding in and the bride was really pissed off!

Anyway, if the bride is your friend she’ll be supportive, and if she’s some crazy bridezilla it’s not worth worrying about!

Got for it - life is too short to worry. If she loves u she will totally understand and be thrilled at your baby news!

You would be absolutely mad to try and time TTC around a friend's wedding, no matter how close. Hopefully you will conceive quickly but if you don't you will kick yourself for wasting nearly a year. Good luck.