37weeks and I'm so lonely

[Kasabian37]

I'm due on the 24th june and finding it really hard.
Basics..
Pregnancy a complete accident. OH told he'd never have kids but 5 months in we find out we're expecting. I already had 3 (17,16&11)
At first he was over the moon,and in all honesty I felt I had to have the baby. At the time It was me n my 3 kids against the world,working,money was ok,holiday every year etc etc so I found it (&still do) really difficult that I was giving it all up but also couldn't take that chance of being a father away from him.
Had a real rough patch through xmas and January to find out he'd been meeting another woman, we agreed to try and move on.
Anyway I'm now 3 weeks from being due and I get nothing from him. He's not bought even a dummy for baby, I get pretty much zero support, I find some days hard and he doesn't even bat an eyelid. He'll talk about cars all day long but very rarely mentions baby (only when he realises I'm quiet then he will say the odd thing just to shut me up I think)
I cook n clean like I'm his mother and I feel like that's all I'm there for.

Now with coronavirus I can only have him in with me at the birth and I don't want him there but it'll be a row.
I know if I say anything it just gets turned around to how he feels and my thoughts are ignored.

I've not got into this pregnancy at all and I'm afraid how things will be once she's here 😔😔😔😔

Hey,

It sounds like you’re having a really tough time. A lot of the time there is an idealised view of what pregnancy should be, but like your gut instinct probably said to you at the start a 5 month old relationship isnt the strongest of foundations to cope with the stress of a pregnancy and baby!

Are you worried about how your relationship with him will be after the birth, or how your bond will be with the baby?

Im really sorry he hasnt stepped up to support you because its so unfair, but whatever happens you will be able to overcome it as im sure youve overcome shitty times in the past too x

So sorry you’re having such a shitty time. Have you been having friends / family meet ups outside?
I met a friend today for a walk and it has been such a great mood lifter.
If I were you, I’d try and have a non confrontational conversation with him. Explain how you’re feeling. With my 1st pregnancy there were times my OH resented the baby, because I’d be exhausted or emotional. He found it really hard to support me. But once the baby was here he was incredible (and still is!)
Sending you love xx

Thank you for replying!
I'm hoping once she's here he'll fall in love with her but he has spent his entire life being just about him that I just can't see it happening.
I get support from my mum/sister and friends in bucket loads but its him I need it from,I need the reassurance that it's been worth all the grief as bad as that might sound.
I'm a "have you eaten today" "if you need anything" kind of person..maybe that's because I'm already a parent... I just get "what's the matter with you" all the time and "you look miserable".
I've come to realise he's just not the sympathetic/empathetic type and it's shut up and put up.
Just doesn't make me feel great and i wish it was different 😔